So I was inserting the vaginal contraceptive film....

First time trying out a new form of birth control. They alert you to read the entire package insert (Better named a Launch Manual?) a half-dozen times before attempting to insert said film into one’s hoo-hoo. Fine, probably good advice.

Then I notice the message at the bottom of the page, noting to call if you have any questions about this product. The hours? 8 am to 5 pm, Monday thru Friday, Eastern Standard Time.

What’s wrong with this picture?

I can tell you that my most urgent questions are going to come immediately before and after the use of this product–maybe, god forbid, during.

Is this was hubby and I have been doing wrong all this time? Gettin’ the groove on at night and on weekends? Who changed the rules? I didn’t get the goddamned memo!

Go on Carnival cruises and you too can make love to your husband at 2PM on a Tuesday afternoon.

God I feel like such an ad whore.

Mr. Scarlett encountered the same problem this weekend – not with a contraceptive device, but rather while he was trying to assemble the Dog Kennel Kit From Hell. Same hours on the toll-free number. Wouldn’t you think that putting a dog kennel together would be a weekend project for most people, not something you would do during usual daytime working hours? Now Mr. Scarlett and I have both worked night shifts, but this is still the type of thing we’d do during the weekend!

Do these people actually think before they set this stuff up??

No! 2 PM Tuesdays is Shuffleboard! Sex isn’t scheduled until 7:30 PM. Sheesh.

LOL, Cranky!!!

The film isn’t that difficult to use, though. I’ve used it & can’t think of a question to ask about it. Fold it up, shove it in as far as you can, wait ten minutes…& I bet you don’t need to ask about what to do NEXT…:smiley: It does drip out rather copiously afterwards, though, so have a towel handy.

First, let us all take a moment and imagine what it must be like to be the person who answers questions in their product call center.

Second, Cranky - Boys have a hoo hoo dilly, girls have a cha-cha. Maybe that’s your problem? :smiley:

New form, indeed. This is the first I’ve heard of “contraceptive film.” Details, please?

Cranky, I hope you have better luck with those things than I did. Tried 'em once and the damn things would stick to my fingers. No matter how I tried I could not seem to get my hands dry enough to make the damn thing stay where it was supposed to go–part of the problem was moisture in the, ahem, target area, which is something you actually want to have but makes application of the product a bit dicey.

And I suppose having children makes it awfully difficult, but afternoon delight (now we can all have that horrid song stuck in our heads!) is one of my personal favorites.

I’m guessing it ain’t Saran Wrap.

It’s not all that good at preventing pregnancies, but whoo, doggy, the pictures it takes!

Mental note: Scylla is a man and CrankyAsAnOldMan is a woman.

Mental note #2: Thank hubby again for getting a vasectomy.

Contraceptive film - that’s easy - it’s that movie with Rosie O’Donnell in the dominatrix outfit - “Exit To Eden.”

A Vagianl Contraceptive Film (VCF) is essentially a small sheet of polymer that is impregnated (no pun intended) with a spirmacidal agent. The VCF is basiaclly folded and inserted into the vagina up to the cervix, working both as a barrier and chemical agent. I have no idea how effective they are.

What do you refer to by pictures?

How does it come out?

Maybe I don’t want to know.

Make sure you are using the right speed of film. Some people need the 400 while others need the 1000.

Note: If the girl is ‘big boned’ you might need the Advantix for the Panoramic film.

I’m picturing this stuff looking like a Fruit Roll-up. Somebody please tell me I’m wrong!

LOL! You’re wrong. Feel better :slight_smile:

A small square if memory serves, about what… a couple inches square or so?

Contraceptive film? About 35mm. :wink:

I thought a Fruit Roll-up was some kind of uncircumsized gay guy.

Wait…that’s a different thread.

It did seem fairly idiot-proof, so I didn’t need to call, but what if I * did* have a question?

It is a small square of what looks like shrinky-dink material, only more pliable (thank god). You fold, cram it up your hoo-hoo (sorry, didn’t “Boys On The Side” use that term for the female netherparts?), then sit around twiddling your thumbs (or better) for 15 minutes while it melts and makes a sperm-killing barrier.

Yes, it stuck to my fingers too. Worse yet, I found that the folded and bent end made for a hard pointy edge that SCRAAAAAAAAPED its way up on its merry journey towards the cervix. That’ll put ya in the mood.

Permanently filed in the TMI bin in my head.