So I'm the jerk for desiring timely egress?!

Sometimes people are oblivious because they are airheads not a because they are obnoxious. The OP sounded a little too PO’d for me to describe it as bemusement.

Full disclosure, I’ve defended old stupid people since I’ve been young and stupid. I’m forward thinking in that one respect.

I would have been the same, if not worse. I hate being boxed in like that and I hate it when people are oblivious to others around them. I understand you can space out sometimes and not realize you’re blocking people, but you’d think at some point at least one of them would have looked around and realized it. The people at the end who were being blocked should have also noted the line of people waiting to get out and just given a simple, pleasant “excuse me” and it would have alleviated the situation quickly. I feel your pain.

The title of this thread says you were angry about this interaction. The fact that you’ve mulled over what they said for so long indicates you are upset. You indicated in the OP that it had only been a minute, and then say WTF as if a minute is a long time not to move. And you admit you were loud in what you said.

So my interpretation of this comment is simply this: there was anger in your louder voice, which already inherently sounds angrier. And since it had been a short time by their estimation, people thought that anger was excessive, and thus the response you received.

A nice “excuse me, I need to leave” in a pleasant voice is what is appropriate in this situation.

I am with the OP on this. We all learned to walk in line in kindergarten. Whoever was blocking the way out were just being stupid.
And someone else making a rude comment was uncalled for.
I have spent half my life, it seems, waiting on line. If everyone would follow the rules it would go alot smoother for everyone.
There’s no excuse for adults to hold up, or break in lines, or otherwise cause disruption of the flow of things. Just rude.

Or, “Gonna try to make my connecting flight, excuse me please!”

Everyone can relate.

Oh yeah, drives me batshit.

Should have turned to the ‘remarker’, looked them straight in the eye, and politely said, ‘EXACTLY! I AM in rather a hurry, and it’s somewhat urgent I leave now. Thank you so much for your understanding! You’re very kind!’

Feel free to start with , ‘Well, Bless your heart!’, if you think you can pull it off!:smiley:

My experience has taught me that I am better off avoiding such exchanges.

If I am the initial remarker - no matter how reasonable I believe my position and how temperate my remark, I anticipate someone will respond in a way making things about me and my remark, rather than the original situation. If I respond to a remark, I can imagine my response being interpreted as escalation. Then, whether or not I was initially angry, chances increase that I will BECOME angry.

Part of it is likely due to the fact that I’m a tall male. While I do not perceive myself as generally angry, my natural facial expression is not a smile. And I generally make an effort to speak loudly and clearly enough to be heard - which I’ve had people interpret negatively.

So too often my choices seem to be between being assertive - and having that interpreted negatively as angry, pushy, etc. Or being passive, and feeling frustrated and confused as a result.

I suspect many people feel the same way. For some reason, other people seem get a pass to behave and talk as they wish. Yet I perceive myself as judged/criticized over my mildest reaction. Likely a facet of insecurity. But whatever the analysis - I generally find it better to stick with my family, my friends, and my dog! :wink:

Next time just loudly declare “I desire tiny egrets!” and they will move out of your way.

If you can fart on command, you can crop dust the row as you leave. It’s what separates us from the apes.

I have posted numerous times here about people who go for a stroll on the running track at the Y.

The track is two lanes, mounted around the perimeter of the gym about 12 feet off the ground. It is meant for everyone to use, for walking or running. Kids use it, old people use it, folks who are painfully dealing with rehab after injuries se it. But most people heed the large signs that say to not block the track.

So when I am running and encounter two middle-aged women chatting as they walk slowly side-by-side, taking up the whole track, I give them two or three “excuse me” laps where I kindly ask them to let me pass. After that, I realize they were raised by wolves and have no common courtesy and obviously cannot read the signs–then I just squeeze past them on each lap with no attempt made at avoiding getting my copious dripping sweat on them. They usually leave at that point.

I usually just wait. It’s never very long. The ushers will kick everyone out, eventually.


So next time, try smiling, and maybe speaking a bit more gently, while you say something like, “Excuse me, can I get through?”

I’m not saying you don’t have a right to be annoyed when people obliviously block your path, but would you rather exercise that right, or would you rather get results, while generating a minimum of ill will? Besides, that gives you something to escalate to if they don’t respond to your polite request.

Yeah, all good ideas, which I generally TRY to use. And I KNOW I tend to overanalyze things like this. But then, my endless mindloop goes off on, “Why am I strategizing how to address this situation while accommodating everyone’s feelings, when the folk CAUSING the situation didn’t give it ANY thought!” :smack:

Drives me batshit as well. Grocery store behavior like this in particular. “Hi neighbor who lives across the street from me, but I feel like the appropriate place to discuss the recent events in the house on the corner is while we are blocking the entire cereal aisle with our two carts! Have you heard the latest!” And “I think I’m going to chat on my cell phone while I should be loading my cart onto the conveyor belt and move at a pace that shows that I should be recruited to work at the DMV” - who at least beats the “the clerk and I are chatting and not bothering to ring things up” because the damn clerk who is getting paid to ring groceries isn’t complicit in the fact that I’m now memorized the cover of every trashy magazine in the checkout aisle while waiting for the express lane to move forward and wondering if I’m going to get home before my second grader gets off the bus. At least I have some pity for “I had four children in the last six years and have brought them all to the grocery store with me on a Saturday because apparently my husbands responsibilities ended at sperm donation” proving I’m not an inhuman monster.

I grocery shop at 8:30 am on Wednesdays. NO ONE grocery shops at 8:30 am on Wednesdays, except the other efficient misanthropes.

Around these parts ‘Well, bless your heart’ is code for everything you just said means nothing to me. I use when I need to shut someone down whose explaining in gory detail about Grandmas gall bladder surgery.
I don’t like to meet people I know in a store anyway. I am already uncomfortable, because I am there. I am not gonna discuss anything with anybody in a aisle at Walmart. I have been known to just walk away. I know I am rude to do it, I don’t care. It’s too much for me to try and have a conversation when I want to run out of there as soon as I can.
It’s a flaw in my personality, can’t fix it, I have tried.

Anyone who thoughtlessly blocks chokepoints deserve what they get. This includes people who get to the top of an escalator and stop, you are on a conveyor belt of people idiot. All it would take is a molecule of self-awareness to realize, “oh, we’re blocking the aisle, let’s step two feet over there and continue this conversation.”

This is why we always book aisle seats for concerts and select them for movies. There are always those who feel the need to sit in a movie seat until the absolute last credit rolls so they can memorize who the key grip was. Movie fades to black, I’m gone. Same for concerts; endless applause doesn’t interest me, and the group had better be topnotch or I’m out before the encore. It’s also a security thing, along with knowing where the exits are.

<leans on horn>