So Is My Apartment Built Over Burial Grounds Or Something?

Mundane Pointless Stuff I Must Share (MPSIMS)
#1

Been walking around in bare feet quite a lot lately and I’ve noticed lumps under the carpet. At first I thought I’d detected a pen, which seemed like something the installers could have left behind when they laid the carpet 5 years ago.

But no, there would have to be a whole bunch of pens and pencils and markers, because there’s a whole line of lumps.

Upon further exploration with my big toe, I think there are cracks under our carpeting! I think the flooring is breaking up! Which would explain why we get so many bugs. And why the carpet in front of the sliding glass door gets crunchy in winter.

Anybody else’s place cracking up, or is it just me?

#2

I’m sure others will have better explanations, but this reminds me of a story I heard about carpet layers who were installing new wall-to-wall carpeting in a lady’s house. They were sitting on the almost-finished floor having a cigarette break when one of the guys saw a bump in the carpet, and thinking it was his pack of cigaretts, hit it with a hammer to “fix it.” Soon the lady of the house came in, asking if they’d seen her canary.

#3

Perhaps you won’t know the answer to this, but was the place re-plastered before the carpet was laid?

My grandmother, a fix-it-up-yourself landlord, once took the carpet up in a house she had purchased because she felt many lumps beneath the carpet and feared for the integrity of the flooring. It turned out to be hardened globs of plaster which had apparently plopped onto the floor when the previous owners were filling holes in the walls, and just left there. That explanation might also account for your “crunchiness”, and for feeling cracks.

I’d say to take a long pin, like a hat pin, and try sticking it down through the carpet over one of the cracks. If you don’t hit anything, you’ll know there’s a problem.

Having bugs doesn’t necessarily mean the flooring is cracked. Bugs are remarkably determined to enter human dwellings and very adept at it. Some areas are just more bug-prone than others. I just moved into a new house. At the old one, we had an infestation of earwigs (those horrible little bugs with what looks like pincers on their butts), and the neighbors complained they struggled with them, too. In the new house, I haven’t seen a single one. My grandmother and her neighbors have problems with ladybugs, and despite strenuous and elaborate efforts, have been unable to keep them completely out.

#4

Just out of curiosity: How in the hell do you lay carpet over a pen/pencil or canary without knowing about it? :dubious:

Back to the OP: The padding under your carpet may be bunching up on you. I’d call a carpet installer to see if he’s got any quick fixes to take care of it. I’ve installed a lot of things, but carpet ain’t one of 'em.

Tripler
Still, just how in hell do you lay carpet over something and not realize it?

#5

You know that was a joke, right? :wink:

#6

That’s a good idea, I’ll have to find some long sharp object & go a’ pokin’.

I just keep thinking there’s skeletons down there somewhere, a la Poltergeist. This complex IS owned by lawyers.

Or else it’s a sinkhole just waiting to collapse.

#7

Do things pop out of the ceiling covered in Prell™ Shampoo? If so, you might live in a haunted apartment.

Do your dining room chairs spontaneously rearrange themselves in seconds but still don’t improve your feng shui? If so, you might live in a haunted apartment.

Does your daughter stare at the TV when the cable is out and make cryptic comments that are not about the WB? If so, you might live in a haunted apartment.

Has a small woman with a voice like fingernails on a chalkboard come and said she was called there and your phone isn’t even hooked up yet? If so, you might live in a haunted apartment.
With apologies to all but Jeff Foxworthy.

#8

The office I used to work in had a wood foor under carpet, and when the weather got warm and humid, the wood warped, and we had ridges running under the carpet. It started just as little lumps, and just kind of kept growing until I got seasick walking across it. So if you have a wood floor under the carpet, that might be the problem.

Can you pull up a corner of the carpet and see what’s under it?

ME

#9

Well, if your chairs start scooting around on their own, and pork chops turn maggoty and start crawling across the countertop in a matter of seconds, take our advice and GET OUT!

Don’t put a bike helmet on your daughter and let the evil spirits shoot her across the floor. That’s how they acquire a taste for the souls of virgins, doncha know?

#10

Oh, they may have realized it but just didn’t care. Like the dedicated builders who work 'round my parts. The carpet in my living room was put down over cigarette butts and other such garbage. The sod in the front yard was laid down over a layer of gravel and concrete bits, with some rusty wire thrown in.
It’s even funnier at my mother’s condo. There is a half-height wall next to the front door with a shelf on top of it. When it was painted there was a nail left lying on top of the shelf. Apparently it was too much trouble to pick up so the nail was just painted over where it lay.