So, is there anything we're allowed to put ketchup on?

Can I put ketchup on my beans, George?

You beet (ha!) me to it!

Most form of fried potatoes, except latkes.
Corned beef hash.
Hamburger
Ground beef patty

I use it on burgers and making meat loaf and brisket. And I’ll mop up any drips with fries. But that’s just me.

Grilled cheese.

French toast.

I put ketchup on my ketchup.

Burgers, fries, onion rings, meat pies, cold meat loaf sandwich, scrambled eggs.

But the real fooderati aren’t going to be eating such simple fare anyway, so they’ll scorn you for eating them whatever you put on them.

There is one city on the planet where ketchup on a hot dog is considered verboten. Why do we let them tell the rest of us we’re all doing it wrong?

Plus hash browns, home fries, cottage fries. A cold meat loaf sandwich also demands sweet pickle relish.

bah! All right thinking people know you put HP Sauce on grilled cheese.

I like ketchup with fish-n-chips. I also put it on hot dogs and burgers and scrambled eggs and French fries and meat loaf. Can’t bring myself to put it on mac-n-cheese, but I understand some folks do…

It’s all they’ve got.

Put it on whatever you like. My only gripe with ketchup is if I’m ordering a hot dog here in the goddamned city of Chicago, it had better not have goddamned ketchup on it when I ask for it fully dressed, “everything on.” It doesn’t happen very often, but every once in awhile, there’s a place that does it. Anywhere else in the US, I don’t give a shit. And, honestly, people here don’t give a shit, either, it’s just good-natured ribbing. Hell, I’ll even eat hot dogs with ketchup in certain instances (Sonoran and Tijuana-style hot dogs.) Go to any Mexican neighborhood here in Chicago for a Mexican-style hot dog and ketchup is ubiquitous.

Otherwise, yeah, there’s plenty of things ketchup is pretty much required on. Whereas I’m not a fan of it on hot dogs in general, for me, hamburgers absolutely require it. It’s a fine sauce for french fries. Or other fried potatoes. I’ll put it on my galabki (stuffed Polish cabbage rolls), too. That said, I wish UK brown sauces were more popular here in the US. Right now, my favorite “ketchup” is Heinz 57 sauce, which is what I would describe as a brown sauce crossed with ketchup. That’s what I put on everything I’d put ketchup on these days.

I used to use it on mashed, too.

And potato salad. Mmmm, that’s-a spicy potato salad!

Hamburgers and cheeseburgers are okay with me.

They’d eat it if you called it artisanal and charged them thirty dollars.

No. Now go and sin no more.

I’m from New England and I’ve never heard of such a thing.

Generally though, even though I think ketchup is gross, I don’t care who puts it on what.

An aside.

I actually had a nightmare about meatloaf. It was CHICKEN meatloaf. If ANYTHING would need cats up on it…that would be it. My mouth and throat is drying up just thinking about it.

Can I put cats up on my doughnuts?

I thought they just made computers and printers?