I’ve been in management for about a year and a half, and tomorrow, for the first time, I need to let someone go. She’s been struggling for a long time and is really not all that qualified for the work. (I didn’t hire her.) It’s the right thing to do, but it’s gnawing at me; I dread having to do it.
Dunno if anyone has any words of inspiration or consolation … I just know tomorrow’s gonna suck.
Don’t think of it as firing someone, think of it as creating a job opportunity for some poor unemployed person.
So, hiring soon? 
I went through all this about 15 years ago when I first started doing the sort of job where I sometimes needed to fire people. If you’re basically a ‘nice’ person, it can feel very awkward to have to do this.
Try to see the bigger picture. If she isn’t right for the job, and the job isn’t right for her, then it’s in everybody’s interest, including her own, to terminate the job. Anything else is just postponing the inevitable. While the current situation persists, she’s making herself stressed and miserable by trying to cope with a job she isn’t cut out for, the company is losing out (by having to compensate for her failings), and you’re losing out by trying to manage someone who isn’t in the right position. There’s another, invisible, person involved: the worker who is looking for a job, who would do this job really well, and who is keen to work for you and produce good results… but whom you can’t employ until this current worker is fired.
I am assuming you are fully aware of the legalities of firing someone, and you know what you can and cannot say, or discuss. There are all sorts of relevant laws and there will probably be a company policy on the matter. Make sure you know this stuff before you go ahead. There can be very serious repercussions if you say or do the wrong thing.
In the light of the relevant legislation and policies, there may not be much that you can actually say. However, IF you are both able and willing to actually have a conversation about it, then there are some good rules of thumb. Don’t make it sound like ‘You’re a bad person’. She isn’t. Don’t make it sound like ‘You have failed’. She has, to some extent, but no more than the person who appointed her to do this job, and it isn’t the right emphasis. A good line to take, if you have to take one, is ‘There’s nothing wrong with you, and there’s nothing wrong with the company. But we aren’t right for you, and you aren’t right for us. That’s all there is to it. Sometimes these things work out, sometimes they don’t. You’ll move on and find something that’s better for you, where you can thrive and prosper. We can help you look, and we can give you good references that will help you’.
Also, even though it may feel harsh, be 100% positive and clear that her employment IS being terminated and NO, there is no pleading or negotiation involved. Some employees start to argue or plead their case, and if you waver at all you are just prolonging the process and extending false hope. It’s a ‘be cruel to be kind’ sort of thing. Be clear, be definite, let her know FOR SURE that this IS a final decision and there are no alternatives to discuss.
Try to have someone else present, on your side of the fence. It will be good for you, it may be legally important to have a witness, and it will help to underline that begging/pleading isn’t going to make any difference.
Observe the niceties where you can. Think it through in advance and see how dignified you can make this process for her. Will she have to empty her desk and so on in front of everyone else, or can it be done at a time when there are few other people around? Can you spare her any humiliation or embarassment? Can you make her feel that although this job didn’t work out, you actually like her as a person, and want to be as considerate as possible?
If you can offer her any realistic help towards finding a new job, then do so and make it clear that you do intend to help. It’s a nice thing to do, and though she may not warm to the offer at the time because she’s too upset, in the days or weeks ahead she may actually value your help. But don’t mention this kind of help if it’s not honest and realistic.
Finally, as in this situation as in life in general… don’t burn any bridges you don’t have to. I have seen at least two situations where a company fired someone only to find, later, that they needed this person’s help, passwords or co-operation. Difficult situation! Proceed with caution. And remember that an ex-employee can spread an awful lot of bile and nasty rumours about you and your company, if they so choose and if they feel badly done by. I’ve seen this happen, and it can get very serious.
Good luck. She may have been thinking that she might get fired for a long time, assuming she knows she has been struggling - and I assume that you’ve been giving her feedback. I doubt it is much fun to try to do a job you can’t do, so she may be relieved at having the decision to find something else taken off her hands. If she has been managed well, it shouldn’t be a surprise.
I agree that you should have documentation and all that stuff. But it might go better than you think.
Spot on. Keep in mind you can’t predict the future and she may end up being your boss someday.
I’ve had to fire a fair number of people. My advice: be direct, be specific and be prepared. Don’t spend too much time with the build up while the person is squirming and trying to figure out what you are talking about. Tell them why you are doing what you are doing; what documentation you have and finally have all the kind of paperwork you will need for her to sign or any benefits information you have to for her on what comes next.
If you had to fire someone and didn’t feel bad about it, I’d wonder about you. Firing people is very hard, especially when you have layoffs and have to let people go without cause. It’s one of the reasons that I chose not to pursue management track. It’s a necessary evil and one that I’d just as soon avoid. Do what you’ve got to do and then go out to happy hour. But not with the person you just fired.
At least you’re doing it at a good time of the summer. Looking for jobs between the 4th of July and Labor Day sucks! All the HR people and managers are off on vacation. I’d much rather lose my job in early June which would give me a month to try to find something else.
Thanks, ianzin, very helpful perspective.
Good advice here. Be direct and professional and remind yourself it’s best all around.
Oh, and have Kleenex handy.
You have my sympathies, nonsuch. Firing people isn’t easy if you have any compassion at all. She has to know it’s coming, though, if you’ve done your job well. (Well, unless she’s delusional like one of my associates was, and really thought all those coaching/counseling sessions, verbal warnings and written warnings and notes in his performance review meant nothing.) She may very well be relieved.
Like others have said, don’t drag it out. Get right to the point. “[Associate], you know we’ve talked many times about [specific performance factor(s)] and we agreed that it needed to be improved [in X way or by X percent] by [specific date]. That has not happened. As a result, we’ve made the decision to let you go.” Make it as dignified as possible, and as kind as possible.
You’ll be fine.
Having gone through my first round of performence related terminations this year as the manager I have to tell you it sucks and yes you will feel bad.
However, keep it short and professional. Say what needs to be said by law/company policy and give a succint reason why. Afterwards ensure the the person has help to pack up her stuff or given the opportunity to come back and collect her things. Allow the person the say her goodbyes but don’t let them linger.
Do not apologise for the decision if you/company were sorry then it wouldn’t be happening.
However above all remember you are pretty much ruining the employees life on that particular day. Stay calm and expect an emotional reaction of some description - have someone else in the room as a witness
I feel for you - I agonised for days as I knew it was coming but the managers were under strict instructions to not tell anyone until the day of. I then went out and had several martini’s.
Firing people for gross misconduct/failing D&A tests while not fun is easier to do.
So, how did it go Nonsuch?
I think I handled it as well as I could. I tried to lay everything out concisely but firmly. Considering my nerves, I think I did OK. Unfortunately, the employee (as in TroubleAgain’s experience) seemed completely unaware of what was coming (despite the reams of documentation) – she had been laughing and joking around all day, so was utterly shocked that she was being fired. She got upset, then defensive, then angry, directing some of it at me personally. I let her say what she needed to. I feel bad that it had to be done, but I have no doubt that it was necessary. When she had said what she needed to, the HR person escorted her to desk; I laid low until she had packed and gone.
A very stressful day, probably the toughest day of work I’ve ever had. But it’s behind me, and I at least have the satisfaction of knowing I behaved professionally.
Thanks to all for your support!
I remember the first time I had to let someone go. It was tough. The advice by ianzin is good, and remember it the next time.
Also keep in mind that no matter how hard you have it, the employee is going to be having it worse. That’s another reason to be professional about it.
While its tough for the employee for it to “come out of the blue” despite reams of documentation, sometimes this reaction is easier for you. Sounds like she wasn’t taking any of it seriously.
Years ago I was working on a project to improve processes centered around a team that contained a few stellar employees and a few complete slackers. During my project (and I didn’t have to do it) we laid off a bunch of employees - and that team lost two of the slackers. The performance improvement I saw from the remaining slackers was incredible. When they started to recognize that they could be observed, measured, and compared based on performance, and those measurements might determine who was employed, their behavior changed.
Sorry you had a rough day, it is tough to have to let someone go.