My department is being slashed and I have to fire people. I can’t do it in person.
If you were going to be fired, which sucks so abominably already, and you had the choice of being fired via the telephone, the mail (FedEx, really), or email, what would you choose?
This sucks.
You’re right. That sucks.
Um. If you absolutely are not allowed to do that in person then I think these people at least deserve a phone call. At least, that’s what I would want. At least that way, they can ask a question or two.
Walking in, opening my email and seeing “Hi there, (your name here). Due to corporate downsizing, your position is now redundant. Thank you for your time. Good bye.”
Can I ask why you are not allowed to tell them in person?
Good Gawd, why? That is so unprofessional!
I say this assuming that it’s not your choice, that you’re not allowed or there are geographical constraints.
But then again, if you just mean, “I can’t face it,” then… learn to face it. If you have the option, it’s your obligation to do this in person. With privilege comes responsibility.
But back to assuming you literally cannot do this in person, please don’t use email. Phone if possible. Otherwise, use mail.
Yes, this sucks. I have a friend who actually enjoys firing people. But then, it’s always 100% his choice and he follows procedures, gives adequate (and documented) warnings, and when the time comes his attitude is, hey, they knew and they’re costing everyone else.
Me, I hate it, no matter what.
Sorry you’re having to do this. 
This means that you are logistically unable to do it in person, not that you would really really rather not, right? Because in person is the best way.
I’d say phone, then FedEx. Absolutely not by e-mail.
Yes, they are in different parts of the country.
By Strip-o-gram!
Hope this helps.
A candygram with the news seems fairly pleasant.
I have fired people before. It is best to do it in person, and be perfectly honest. Don’t lie, just tell them matter-of-factly what the situation is.
And do it on a friday. Don’t do it on a monday.
I’ve got good news for you. You won’t have to worry about being late for work ever again. 
Wait until you have sixteen people you need to fire. Then give them inane business challenges every week, and bring them into a big boardroom and fire them one by one. Wear an awful wig.
First off, don’t say “fired” say “layed off.”
Second, I’d prefer the telephone, 'cause then I could verbally abuse you, especially if company policy was to never give references.
Third, because of “second,” you may wish to consider the mail. Paper seems more dignified then e-mail.
On a Friday, so that all the services and organziations that are available to people in this position are closed for two days?
This not only seems like a bad idea, but it also goes against everything I’ve ever learned in a HR management or psychology class. Can you explane your point of view?
(Not being snarky - just wondering.:))
The idea is that is gives the person time to cool off and think about what to do then react. Also, I think, it gives the person a bit more dignity to be able to clean out their space at the end of the day before the weekend then at the beginning of the week. By the time the office gristmill gets to work, they’re gone.
And also that the next two days are (presumably, for an office-type job) days that they wouldn’t normally be at work anyway, so it’s a little less of a shock to be home.
Mr. S got downsized on a Tuesday. That was a weird week.
Sorry to hear about that. If I were a manager where I work (hopefully sometime in the near future), I’d probably fire people on Sunday or Monday, as they’d surely see they weren’t on the next schedule when it came out on Tuesday.*
*I got fired like that once. Came in to get the new schedule and I wasn’t on it. It sucked.
Odd. I would do it on a Monday.
On Friday, you’ve pretty much ruined their weekend, they’ll spending all their time moping, and when Monday comes along, they’ll be more depressed.
On Monday, at least, theres a sort of “on vacation” feel to it, and although it would suck, at least they can spend the day thinking to themselves (Thats how I would want it anyway).
I’ve never been in HR but I could see the difference in wording. “Fired” means you’re out of a job and have to hit the pavement. “Laid-off” means Unemployment Insurance kicks in. (If anyone knows how that works, please post or e-mail, always been curious) If it’s how I think it works, the company pays in one way or another.
jsgoddess, I’ve been fired a time or three (though it was always because I fucked up somehow) and can only say what I’d prefer. In-person being unavailable, make a phone call. Losing a job is very personal as most of us know. Suddenly you have the same bills you had yesterday, but no income tomorrow. There may be very valid concerns the firee has that you could council them on and offer advice, or at least offer a sympathetic ear. Whatever you may be able to offer, you’re there speaking to them. A damn sight better than the person staring at a monitor or piece of paper saying they have to start over. Plus, one or two of them may be genuine assholes and allieve (sp?) any guilt you feel for a moment. And, of course, let them know exactly why they’re being let go.
And I agree with doing it on Friday. No cites but it’s general knowledge to do so on that day. Fewer problems and much less chance of it getting ugly.
One last thing, and I think this is most important. If the person being fired/laid-off is being done so for reasons other than work performance, make it crystal clear that they will get a positive recommendation when contacted by prospective employers. There is nothing worse than adding a job to a resume not knowing what kind of reference you’ll get.
Oh, and a stripper or five wouldn’t hurt.
Pesonally I’d prefer Friday. Gives me a 3-day bender window. Being fired on Monday and using the week for vacation is 4-5 days wasted looking for a job and earning money. YMMV.
(the duffster, once unemployed for 8 months) 
If it is part of your job to fire people, and you can’t do the professional way of firing them in person, then you can’t do YOUR job. And YOU should be fired. Just suck it up and do your job.
Here. Since you missed it the first time, let’s try again.