I find you disappointingly lacking in evil qualities.
Ouch. Yes, I agree, less self pity. Thank you for your response.
Yup. It doesn’t sound terribly difficult to get a doctor to prescribe medical marijuana in LA (if I understand your location correctly), and if it is working for you, it’s working for you. I don’t think of pot as much different from alcohol, and not as bad for you as smoking cigarettes. US American drug laws regarding marijuana seem completely ridiculous to me, so I don’t think you’re very evil at all.
Well, now you’ve made me cry. In a good way though. Well, sort of. 
Thanks.
Does it make it so you’re able to get a good night’s rest? Does it make it so you aren’t miserable all day? Does using it relieve your symptoms in such a way that you’re better able to focus at work? Then what’s the problem? Go get a medical card.
A friend’s boyfriend is a doctor who works at a pot doctor place on the weekends. While there are a million doctors who will give a card to any ol’ stoner, there are also good doctors like him who weigh what you’re saying and do deny people. That said, you fit perfectly into the group that he would give a rec to (based on what he’s told us). Depending on the place, in LA, this’ll run you $50- $200. Just go get the card- add a little legitimacy to what you’re doing.
No, I’m further north. I agree with you about the laws. But now I’m questioning my belief about it’s medicinal use after all.
I respect the medical opinion offered above, so maybe I just think I’m being helped. Maybe it’s just the euphoria.
My husband does like me even if my sister does not, so yeah, I guess I’m not evil. Mental maybe?
Thank you Cat Whisperer.
I’m trying to be well mannered and respond to every one that is taking the time to respond to me, but then that makes me one of those annoying posters that posts too many times in a row. So I apologize in advance to whoever is either annoyed or left out. Whichever comes first.
Smoking pot makes some people feel paranoid. Does this sense of guilt increase when you smoke?
I respect the hell out of Qadgop, too. I would argue with him on this point, though - if you’re smoking a tiny bit of weed, and getting a lot of symptom relief, and it is for a limited time (until all your menopausal crap is done), I’d say keep on if it’s working.
OP is not evil. But I wasn’t sure how the dirty little secret got out. On this message board? Hey–it’s anonymous!
You would probably be surprised–well, maybe not–at how many of your coworkers are privately taking socially sanctioned mood drugs. I was once in a position to know this about some of my coworkers and I was surprised. (More than half of them–and those were just the ones I knew about.)
OK nevermind I see where you say you shot yourself in the foot at work.
Perhaps Qadgop is seeing the self selected group of people who have problems using medicinal marijuana. Or perhaps he’s right. I don’t personally find smoking weed to be evil even if it’s not used for medicinal purposes. But people relying on it as a medicine when it’s effectiveness is limited may be a bigger problem than occasional recreational usage.
I won’t argue with that. But I still hold that pot is a problematic ‘medicinal’ drug.
Well, this isn’t much of an argument.
ETA: I mean, since I agree with that, too.
For someone who smokes bud, you need to chill.
First of all, rare are the people who see someone, (whom they otherwise think well of, holding a job and being a good person), as evil for a personal habit like smoking bud, even without the medical issue. You need to dial back your anxiety on this front. Take a deep breath and recognize some people at work have already indicated it means little to them. You need to be confident, that who you are, and the work you do, are enough. I promise, they are. If you don’t freak out, they won’t. Do not talk about it any further at your place of work. Discretion is still called for, just say you’d rather not speak about it and let it lie.
Second of all, your sister saying you’ve disappointed her, has clearly hit a button for you. You love and admire your sister, it’s clear. But I’d be willing to bet, at some time in her life, she disappointed you. Yes? Did the world end? The relationship shatter? No. Everybody just got over their miff. Like adults are supposed to. If she says it again, (and she likely will, knowing she hit her mark), recognize she is trying to manipulate you. You don’t have to let her. Your response should be a calm and soft, “I’m sorry you feel that way.” End of topic.
I came from a dysfunctional family with, among other flaws, a predisposition to alcoholism and possibly prescription drugs, too. That leaves me, a little too tightly wound and frightful of partaking of any of the most used aids for such feelings.
So I feel where you’re coming from. I left more than one therapist because they insisted on meds. Too dangerous a dance, in my eyes, with my history. Same goes for having a couple of drinks, just to let off some steam, take the edge off. My fear is very real, not unfounded. What’s a girl to do?
I do what you do. But I stopped feeling bad about it a long time ago. There is no MM here, so I’m prepared to stand before a judge and explain myself and beg mercy. (Hardly required, at most I’d likely get a fine!)
My advice is to take a couple of deep breaths, demonstrate some confidence in your being a fine upstanding human being, and soldier on, as it were. I can’t help feeling they will all take their cue from you. Be calm, be confident, be dignified. You didn’t shoot anyone’s dog, y’know!
Good Luck!
Sounds like she’s already doing that part
I’m up in conservative ass Bakersfield and there are even plenty of pot doctors here (though in Kern County, there is a waiting period for your rec’ to come into effect-- so a lot of people just go get them in LA county). So, depending on how far north you are, it’s still doable.
TriPolar, you make me laugh. No, I don’t think I get paranoid. Why, am I acting like it? 
Elbows, I think you hit on a very key issue. My sister.
She doesn’t appear to like me much. I believe she resents me quite a bit. This breaks my heart.
I think the main reason she resents me is because on the day our mother died, she asked for me first. The reason she asked for me is because she needed me to know a family secret. My sister has some health issues and so my mom thought it might someday be important for someone to know this information. This information would break my sisters heart.
So, I have a hard time with this.
The rest of your post is brilliant. Thank you.
Hilarity, no It wasn’t on this board. But it was monumentally stupid.
I can’t believe I just shared that story about my sister.
There might be a way to turn it around. Sit your sister down and tell her, that you are heartsick that your Mother wanted to see you first, to get you out of the way, to see the more important people. Tell her you’re jealous, that you still feel it was a slight against you. That your Mom said nothing of weight and only seemed to want to, get on with it, so she could talk to sister. And so on, and so forth, in this vein.
You might be surprised what a new spin on the thing could do, even at this late date!
(As in, perhaps you don’t have the same father? Sorry, couldn’t help taking a shot.)
I don’t want to discount these concerns. Would you mind talking about what some of these problems are?
You mentioned increased dosages needed. I have stayed about the same for the past 8 months or so. Or actually longer, I guess. I started about 2 and 1/2 to 3 years ago. I stopped for four months, but other than that, my use has been pretty consistent.
Does it take longer than that to go up?
I know that my lungs do suffer a bit.
Thanks for the input.
I’m certainly not a doctor, but if your lungs are hurting from smoking it, dispensaries sell all kinds of ways for you to “take” the marijuana. All kinds of baked goods, lollipops, etc. - all good ways to not damage your lungs via smoking. Of course, this all requires you getting a card.
Your idea is pretty good, but I’ve already tried the “she just wanted me to promise to take care of you always” idea. I’m not sure she believes me on that though.
Regardless, it didn’t help. You’re very smart Elbows.