I like to come up with little impromptu holidays at work in order to improve morale and reduce stress, and have met with some limited success. People seemed to enjoy “Forget-to-brush-your-teeth Day” and “Scream-into-the-telephone Day,” and “Pointing-out-other-people’s-flaws Day” (also known as “You-know-what-your-problem-is Day”). “Does-this-look-infected-to-you Day” was a hoot!
But the staff didn’t like “Misogyny Day.” From referring to the secretaries individually as “Toots” and “Babycakes,” to referring to them collectively as “my little ladies,” I received nothing but whines and complaints.
I tried to break the ice initially by suggesting asking how any of them even made it to work, since women are such notoriously bad drivers. I also railed that none of them should even be there in the first place, but should be home, barefoot and pregnant. No one even cracked a smile!
Trying to keep in the spirit of things, I asked the ladies if they were on their periods (specifically, I insinuated that they were all “on the rag”), but, if anything, that seemed to make it worse! Sheesh!
I referred to my boss as “Big Momma Sunshine,” and was reprimanded, and told I could never, ever refer to him as that again! Now who’s the misogynist!
I have bigger hopes for tomorrow. “False-Fire-Alarm Day.” Every fifteen minutes, it’s just more excitement!
“Show Up At A Place You Don’t Work” Day was fun and full of surprises. As was “Clean Out The Back Of Your Fridge” Day, albeit some of the surprises were less pleasant. But after the tragic misunderstanding on last year’s “Dress Like An Armed Robber” Day, we’re making sure everybody gets advance notifice this year. And “Bring A Reminder Of A Dead Loved One To Work” Day turned out to be less of a morale booster than hoped.
Just be careful. Next tuesday is National Cat Day. Gato.
I can’t decide which joke to make.
[list=a][li]Might I suggest National Bring Your Beer To Work Day?[/li][li]Might I suggest National Bring Your Porn To Work Day? [/list][/li]
And since I’m always hot I can’t wait for jungle attire. I’ve managed to merge a loincloth and a necktie and I haven’t had a chance to wear it yet.
I think your mistake was not following Misogyny Day with Misandry Day – or possibly having them both at once, which could be an order of magnitude more fun on its own if it doesn’t devolve into the more generic Hostile Work Environment Day, or the not-quite-so-fun Sexual Harassment Suit Day. But as long as you’re willing to toe that line, there’s a ton of interesting ideas there.
Suggestive Messages On The Seat Of My Pants Day
Bring an Adult Toy to Work Day
Sexual Innuendo Day
Rude Tie Day
Picture Me Naked Day (followed by Picture Of Me Naked Day for note comparison)
Holy fucking hell. I just had to check your profile to make sure that you weren’t one of my friends from highschool. One we made up a holiday for each day of the year (we were stuck in the auditorium with nothing to do. And, well, we didn’t actually celebrate all of them, so that’s not so bad, right?) and several of those you listed became part of our official calendar. We also had a “Rape a friend!” day, immediately followed by “…but rape is bad!:(” day. Heh.
Er, and I just wanted to add that not all of the holidays we came up with were sexual in nature (even if most of them were. hey, we’re teenagers)-- Some of them were just stupid! Damn, I need to find that calendar.