So...My Aunt is Dying.

A little less than a month ago my Mom’s older sister was diagnosed with leukemia, they were running a bunch of tests to see if she could handle the heavy duty chemo that they wanted to give her. During that time they found out that the strain that she has is generally treated well with a much more mild chemo and some arsenic so they decided to do that. Everything was looking as good as we could have hoped, until she woke up and couldn’t see. When they were getting ready to operate on her eyes to try to fix the problem they discovered two things 1) her platelet count was too low 2) the leukemia had spread to her brain. She decided today that she didn’t want to continue the treatment. She gave up. It’s too soon, I just lost my mother a little over a year ago and now my Aunt too? I’m angry, I’m scared but most importantly I’m devastated.

Sorry if no one wanted to read about this, I just needed to get it off my chest.

I’m so sorry to hear this. I have no words that don’t sound trite. Just know that there’s an invisible person out there on the internet thinking about you.

I’m so sorry as well, and yeah, I don’t have anything good to say, except I’m thinking about you too.

I am sorry, and wish there was something that could be done.

I’m so sorry. I know how difficult this is. I’ll be thinking of you, also.

My heart goes out to you, that is such tragic news.

I don’t blame you for being angry, or needing to get it off your chest. (We’re always here and we never sleep, I swear!. Anytime.)

Try not to view her as having ‘given up’. Try to think of her having made a choice that’s just right for her, it might help with your anger.

I’ll be thinking of you both, in the weeks ahead. Please take care of yourself during this difficult time, it can make all the difference in “getting through.”

Please let us know how you’re doing with all this, we’ll be thinking of you!

I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine how hard this is on you, but your aunt knows what’s best for her. Cherish the time you have left with her and try not to dwell on your sadness. You’re strong - you can do it. {{{TPR}}}

I’m so sorry to hear this. Your family has just been through too much.

I’m very sorry to hear that.

I’m so sorry - there really are no words. I’m just so sorry.

My Aunt went into respiratory arrest today and they don’t even know if she has a tomorrow, and I don’t even have a way to go see her until tomorrow

Is there anything I can do to help?

I am sorry to hear your news. Sending supporting thoughts.

I’m so sorry. I lost my beloved brother in law to cancer this summer. I was angry with him because he didn’t give up, I felt he dragged out his own suffering and that of those that loved him and ended having a much more unpleasant death that the one he could have chosen earlier, .but that’s my problem and it wasn’t his. He got to make his own choices regarding his death. And if those choices aren’t the same ones I would have made, I still need to respect them.
That doesn’t mean I didn’t also get to be angry. I just kept it to myself.

The only thing I need right now is people to talk to to keep my mind busy. If you can chat that would be a huge help but other than that there is really nothing.

Also, I did manage to get to see her today thanks to my BF’s wonderful parents.

Sorry to hear about this. It must have been a rough year for you, and now you have to deal with this too.

But have there been any good things to happen in your life in the past year? You could tell us about those. Maybe some stories about your mom too. If she was who I’m thinking of, I’ll bet you have some good ones.

So sorry to read this.

My condolences. It sounds like she was tired of what the treatments were doing to her, and didn’t want to become a burden. She’s probably weighed it over and over in her mind, so it’s more deciding that enough’s enough, and not giving up.

My mother passed away last year from cancer (a recurrance of a skin cancer that had now established in her lungs and her brain). She declined to start chemo, saying that 84 years was enough. She instead had 6 months to visit friends and relatives for the last time, and die on her own terms.

I couldn’t make it to see her near the end; I only talked to her (she couldn’t talk) via phone at her hospice, where she was surrounded by my dad, one of my sisters, a brother, his daughter, and her new husband. She ended up passing away after midnight that night, coincidentally on her 85th birthday.

Very sorry to read that you’re dealing with this, especially so soon after losing your mom. :frowning:

If it’s helpful to you, I’d like to try to give my perspective (from being in the medical profession and having taken care of many terminally ill people plus having seen it happen to a loved one) on why people choose to stop treatment:
Unfortunately, sometimes in spite of all the modern medicine nowadays, those of us in the medical profession don’t always have a lot to offer and the treatment can be worse than the disease in some cases. When my mom had terminal cancer, all the chemotherapy options she had offered only about a 10% chance of actually making the cancer shrink…the best we were able to hope for was that the chemo would slow it down for a bit.
That’s often the choice that terminally ill cancer patients have to make…basically “Take the chemo, be sick from the chemo for the rest of your life, for a small chance - but no guarantee - that it might allow you to live a few more months” vs. saying no to the chemo and then trying to live comfortably for whatever time they have left.
I don’t blame you for being angry that this happened. It’s not fair to any of you. However, I’m sure that your aunt doesn’t want to leave you. I’m sure she would fight with everything she could if she thought the chemo would help her be truly well again. She probably just was trying to make the least awful choice between two really crummy choices. :frowning:
Peace to you and your family.

Feel free to PM me if you want to talk in person - I’ll happily send you my phone number if you just want to talk - and I send hugs too!