Oakie, just shut the fuck up, you stupid shit.
Serious question - in the US, can they make him go while he’s a minor?
OP, have you tried talking respectfully to your parents about where you stand in your beliefs and how you got there? Have you asked them how they came to believe what they believe and whether they’ve ever gone through a crisis of faith? I think if you can talk to them openly and calmly, showing respect for them while stating your position clearly, you would be able to move past the snippy notes on Chinese food stage of conflict.
Because the thing is, your parents’ religious beliefs are likely very important and central to them. They were probably caught off guard by the way your atheism was sprung on them and you didn’t do any favors to your possibility of being taken seriously by mumbling a confirmation of it and then walking out of the room.
If you could sit down with them and have a heart-to-heart about this, you would have a much better chance of calming the waters. Give them the opportunity to see you as a soon-to-be-adult who is working on who he is and what he believes, not a sullen, rebellious teen.
Really, your parents haven’t been so awful here. Did they kick you out of the house until you agreed to do whatever they wanted? No, they told you not to be home during the time that you would otherwise have been in church, and then they brought back food for you. They were thinking about you, and they didn’t get Chinese for everyone else in the family and leave you to fix yourself a sandwich.
Man, I could really go for some Chinese right about now.
I know I’m by no means the first to say this, but you’re kind of a dick. There’s another word that comes to mind, but I’m not sure it’s allowed.
Seriously, though. “All black clothes, various piercings, maybe some tattoos”. Have you ever seen a real teenager, or just on TV?
Dan Savage regularly advises teens whose parents are having a hard time with the teens’ sexuality to just lie to keep the peace. Is it honorable? No. But their parents can also legally force them to one of those horrible “Pray Away the Gay” camps or “therapists”, which can do a lot more harm that telling a few little white lies.
I think the OP needs to take a long hard look at the costs and benefits of being an open atheist around his parents:
Are you 18 or older? Your parents could legally kick you out. If they kick you out, how will you support yourself? Even a full-time job at minimum wage (all you’re likely to get) won’t pay for an apartment, much less utilities and food. And no landlord will rent a place to an 18-year-old with a minimum-wage job, the risk of eviction is too high.
Are you 17 or younger? Your parents may be able to legally send you to some nasty brainwashing camp, or make you live under some really draconian restrictions. Remember, you have limited civil rights until you’re 18.
Part of being an adult is learning when you’re in a situation where you’re at a disadvantage, and doing what you have to until you can get yourself to an equal footing. There are going to be a LOT of times where you need to bite your tongue for the present and work on the medium- to long-term solution of getting out of the situation. This is just the first you’ve run into.
And let’s be honest, it’s not like your parents are asking you to turn over Anne Frank to the Nazis. It’s annoying, but you can use your time in church to analyze the sermon critically, to see what you agree with and what you don’t, and think about why. It’s a good time to practice your critical thinking.
As a fellow atheist, I recommend a white lie here or there to get them off of your back, and work on getting yourself financially independent, so they don’t have that leverage over you. Once you’re out of their house and self-supporting, it’s none of their business what your beliefs are, and you can just refuse to talk about it. Cuz you’re not going to change their minds, so confrontation is useless.
Follow your parents rules until you move out and are on your own. That includes RESPECTING their faith and attending mass, if that is a house rule.
Don’t do this because they have legal rights over you or because they pay the bills. Do this because you understand that your parents have made a lot of sacrifices for you, sound like they haven’t been abusive or even particularly jerkish for parents, and are therefore more than deserving of your respect.
Once you move out on your own, you still need to respect your parents and their faith - that doesn’t mean you have to go to church, but when my Catholic family says grace, my atheist husband bows his head and keeps his mouth shut.
Plus bread and booze during!
In a similar vein, I went to loads of seminars and presentations in university because of the buffet afterwards.
I don’t know. If he’s 17 (which he must be, if he’s a senior in high school) I doubt it. If he was 8 or 9, probably.
Best advice in the thread. I don’t see any sense in antagonizing the parents when in a few months you can live on your own and do things your way.
I am an adult and both of my parents are dead, yet there are plenty of situations where I still will just “smile and nod” to get along with people. Sometimes you have to pick your battles.
There’s a larger issue, that many patents believe that “my house, my rules” should extend to their nearly adult children in matters that are purely those of belief or conscience. It is wrong of parents to impose these micro-dictatorships on their late-teen children, regardless of their housing or financial situations, and it is wrong of society to back them up on it b
His parents, obviously. So what? Should he lie to them when they ask him about his religious beliefs? Fake it when they go to church? What highly moral stance do you advise?
Why does religion get a free pass?
Once he’s moved out, he won’t need to come up with his own lecture for his idiot parents – he can just recall one of his DIs and channel.
Preventing him from doing something fun like playing with his console while they were at church.
Reading definition… nope, nothing in there about “highly perceptive”, “totally got your number”, or anything else that describes Hentor’s remarks.
SeanHallam
Ignore Oak and the other haters, Your parents belong to a church where (assuming they pay any kind of tithe) has taken that money and used it to engage in the deliberate, repeated rape of children, then used that money to move the rapists around the world so they can continue their spree of ruining kids lives for decades.
You may have to live there for a bit longer, The answer may be that you need to put up with their shit for a bit longer, but the truth (from what I can see anyway) is that your parents are on the toxic side of humanity. Toxic people suck to deal with let alone live with and will slowly drain your sanity. Get out ASAP and don’t look back.
Maybe he can change their minds. Many parents change their minds about gay rights when they learn they have a gay child. Perhaps having an atheist child will cause these parents to ask some questions they have brushed aside over the years.
I agree with others the OP shouldn’t be a jerk about it, but simply saying he’s not interested in religion, god, or their church is something a parent just has to suck up and deal with. A lot of kids do a lot worse.
Those here who criticize the OP, would you feel different if he had said, “Sorry, Mom, I’m converting to Judaism and wouldn’t be comfortable going to Mass with you.” A person has as much right to be an Atheist as a Jew. Sitting quietly in the pew isn’t necessarily a virtue when you think everyone around you worshiping false gods. Better to stay home and enjoy his Sunday.
Respect should be mutual. At Thanksgiving dinner, I often find a reason to be in another room when grace is done. That way I am not interfering with anyone’s beliefs or traditions and they are not requiring me to give my implied sanction to them.
Lol. What?
Just ignore him. He’s got a stick up his ass that he can’t see over.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Just ignore him. He’s got a stick up his ass that he can’t see over.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Even funnier. Poor old sandy twat is gonna quote you again! Beware the cactus man.
[QUOTE=Oakminster]
You’d be wrong, as usual.
[/QUOTE]
Cockminister, I missed your attempted correction. You think that I’m being ingratiating in my comments to you? Flattering and sycophantic?
If you find my comments to you insincerely flattering, I feel a little bit sad for you. What I see as insulting broadsides you regard as attempts at flattery.