The name I put in my workplace signature email is not necessarily going to be the same name my friends call me by…
The OP used the word “pretentious” first.
Wow, that’s a really clever way to stick it to the guy! I’m sure nobody’s ever done that before. Awesome.
I got so fed up with people mispronouncing my name that at work I just go by my initial - Q.
I generally view the shortening of my name as an indication that the person considers themselves fairly close to me. And if I agree, I don’t mind. But, if I don’t, it bugs me.
Also, there is one particular version of my name I don’t like. I don’t know why. I’ve never had a bad experience with it. Maybe because it’s also short for another name, and thus loses the one attribute I love about my name: I’m the only one. Nobody else goes by it. Everyone else shortens it or pronounces it differently.
You see, my parents had really popular names, and were often one of three or more in any social group. They intentionally wanted their kids to have less common names that didn’t sound pretentious or odd. And I love my parents, so I respect that.
I just call people what they want to be called. That doesn’t mean I don’t judge. If you wish to be called “Wilfred J. Futtermutter The Third”, that’s pretentious. On the other hand, I can’t summon up a whole lot of respect for a grown man who goes around being “Skippy”.
I use a “nickname” instead of my full name in most situations. However, my “nickname” is unusual and often misspelled, so if I’m doing something where they’ll have to spell my name (ordering a pizza, giving my name to teh clerk at Lane Bryant so they stop bugging me about joining their mailing list, etc.), I just default to using my full name. It’s not as hard to spell and much more common.
I don’t hate being referred to by my full name, I just don’t like it as much.
And yes, be glad they’re still being named Stephen and Michael… some of the new names out there are downright ridiculous. And there are the ones who think they’re being unique by adding a different phoneme to the suffix “lee” and “lyn” … Caylee, Breighleigh, Kaitlyn, Maitlyn, Hailey, Kaylyn…
I’m naming my kids good, strong classic names (that aren’t super common, so they’ll be unique without me having to resort to pairing random prefixes and suffixes).
I’m glad you agree G.
I never said it was clever, but was effective in keeping interactions with him down to a minimum. Also, keep in mind when I classify someone as an overall asshole, its generally the type of person that pretty much everyone can’t stand, wishes would just go away or die, and wonders why someone else hasnt killed em yet. If your a remotely nice human I will call you by your preferred name.
I remember when I was working at the nursing home, threre was a new hire whose name tag said Angela. I called her Angie for a while, because I had a cousin named Angie, but then I thought to ask her what she liked to be called.
She did, indeed, like Angie, Angela was on her application form and so her name tag. Point is, I did think to ask her rather than just go on my own preferences.
Tell me about it! Our daughter’s name is Deirdre, and she gets every pronunciation imaginable. I blame Deidre Hall, personally. We love the name, and she’s the only Deirdre in the school system, but had no clue it would be such a flipping hassle for her. And she insists on Deirdre: we called her Didi when she was younger, but not any more.
My name is equally difficult to pronounce, so I do use a shortened version.
I dated a man from Belfast who had a sister named Dierdre, pronounced deer-dree. I don’t know if that’s how you say it, but my Irish boyfriend sure did.
There are two other Nicholases in Fang’s class. Luckily, one is a Nick (which Mrs. Magill and I hate) and the other is a Nicky. So Fang goes by his preferred “Nicholas.”
Actually, he really impressed his Grand-daddy a while back when they went to a playground together, and Fang insisted the other kids not call him “Nick”. My father started getting called “Bob” in high-school, which he never liked, but could never shake.
We haven’t been able to shorten our son’s name, Nathaniel. I guess “Nate” or “Nat” would be the most obvious nicknames, but neither sounded right. We finally decided just to call him Nathaniel and wait for the kids at school to give him a nickname. (His sister calls him 'Thaniel).
Don’t lose heart. My 1 1/2 year old son has a really nice name that will work if he grows up to be dignified, but 95% of the time, he gets called Beanie or Beanpod. If my husband’s track record holds (and he’s holding on to nicknames from 35 years ago), the baby’ll be Beanie well into his 40s.
My younger brother is Nathaniel. During his childhood we called him “Thanny,” all the way into high school. Then he decided that wasn’t a mature name, and started bouncing between preferred monikers before he settled on “Nate” at the tail end of college.
I’m still getting used to it, but by Og I call him Nate, even if he doesn’t know that “Th…” is ready on my tongue every time.
Close: hers is deer-druh. At least your Irish boyfriend got that R in there, which is the major problem! 
I don’t know if you’re Irish Juliana but my ex and his kin definitely proniunced it deer-dree. The accent was on dree. They were Irish Irish and I defer to them.
I’m sort of in the middle.
The full version of my firstname is four words. No, that’s not four names. Seriously, the middle words are “of” and “the,” in what country would those be names? Don’t answer…
I use the standard shortening, which is a single, three-syllable word. The only people who call me María are people who don’t know me from Adam (or, in this case, Eve); the only people who call me Mari more than once are people with a deathwish; someone once called me Mar and the general consensus among those present was that he needed to see a doctor about his Happy Pills.
It’s what I’ve been called my whole life. It took me about 10 years to decide that it wasn’t, after all, an irreparably horrible name, but once I got used to it - well, it’s my name!
I go by many names, some I like, some I don’t.
My full first name was originally 2 words. I like it a lot but everyone always shortened it to just the first word, which I do not like. 2 songs use that name in them, and I had those songs sung to me incessantly to the point of extreme irritation.
When I transferred boarding schools my senior year of high school, I found out that 3 other senior girls had the same first name - at least the first word that people called me. One of them approached me and asked desperately if I had any nicknames. I had one (a version of the second part of my name) that had been used once or twice over the summer by a co-worker that I liked, and I told it to her. She was immensely relieved, and in truth, so was I.
I introduced myself in every class under the nickname, and that’s who I became. It was very freeing - every time I was called that name, I was reminded that I got to choose who I was, not my prior classmates or family members.
When I got married, I legally changed my first name from two words in to one word. It was free because it was part of the whole “I take your last name” name changing part.
So my nickname ends in “y”. But it’s unusual enough that I’m usually the only girl around with that name, and people have a much easier time remembering that. I will turn 40 this year, and have no problem with the fact that people may think it sounds young. Who wants to be old? It never takes them long to figure out that I’m a professional.
I’ve also used my screen name for almost 7 years now, and many of my friends from online gaming call me Mel or Melly. I have met many of them, and they still call me Mel rather than my RL nickname. So I answer to that too.
About the only person who call me by my full name is my SO. It’s kind of nice to have him whisper a name in my ear that no one else uses.
The fun thing about having so many names/nicknames is that you can easily identify how someone knows me.
As for how I sign my emails at work - my pre-set signature has my name as “Fullfirstname (Nickname) Lastname”. And then I usually sign the emails as “–nickname”
That…really weirded me out. I had to check the timestamps to be sure I wasn’t hallucinating.
My name is Angelique and whenever I send any type of business correspondence (or even in college when I wrote papers and such), I’d always put my full first name down.
Now, literally no one in my life calls me Angelique. No one. Well, maybe my mom when I really piss her off, but that’s neither here nor there. Everyone calls me Angel, to the point where my friends get momentarily confused if we’re somewhere and someone asks for Angelique (like, the waiter to give back my debit card on a split check).
Why do I always write Angelique instead? Because Angel sounds like a low rent stipper. I mean, Angelique at least sounds like a nice, high end escort, right?