Even though I have a little one myself I’ve never known where they come from, nor how they got there. Now however, I have found the answer: http:// Planetdan - Where babies come from.. The problem is it’s in German and I can’t read it so I’m still a bit confused.
The link isn’t totally work safe, so I’ve broken it up. From what I understand it’s a real German text book for their sex ed class.
That was … a little disturbing. The baby emerging and all, with that happy expression on its face, only made me think of one thing:
Hello, my baby
Hello, my honey
Hello, my ragtime gal…
[sub]Check, please![/sub]
Ha! That’s great. I actually might bookmark that for when my daughter wants some more details. Erect cartoon penis, cutaway penetration, vago-cam POV, no problem. Because I’m a weird crunchy natural birth type person, the only problem I have with that depiction is that the woman is flat on her back giving birth.
I’ve got almost enough German to read at a kindergarten level, it seems. What sections were you most interested in?
For example, it explains that you can see the mother and father’s genitals, and what they’re called. It says the mother and father kiss, and the father’s penis gets big and stiff, and they like it when it goes into the mother’s vagina - it’s really nice. 
As for the birth pictures, it’s pretty straightforward: “Then the mother begins to give birth. First the baby’s head comes out of her vagina, then come the baby’s arms,” and so on.
It’s actually kind of cute how matter of fact they are about it all.
Is that baby doing the breast stroke on the way out?
Unauthorized Cinnamon, I thought the same thing about the childbirth position. As well as, “Why is the doctor holding a shoehorn?”
Thanks for the beginnings of a translation. I like that they say that sex could feel good. When I was a kid, all the books were strangely silent as to WHY the man would want to put his penis inside the woman’s vagina, or why she would let him. I thought it was all very clinical and cold, the “recipe” that one had to follow to get a baby…but that didn’t jibe well with unwanted babies at all! If a woman was giving her baby up for adoption, why on earth did she ask a man to put his penis in her in the first place?! I also didn’t get the “big and stiff” part, and it was bewildering to imagine that little floppy bit of skin I saw when my dad was peeing and how that would work, exactly. I finally decided he laid it horizontally inside my mother’s labia majora, like a hot dog in a bun! (After all, we called our external genitalia “vaginas”, so that was inside the vagina, right?)
And my parents were actually really crunchy granola and matter of fact about the whole thing! I can’t imagine the ideas some kids in less forthcoming households get!
The expression on baby’s face is priceless coming out. Might make a great avatar for another message board!
Well, that may be where German babies come from, but I’m pretty sure that’s not the case with American babies!
(At least that’s what I’ve heard… Or not heard. )
WhyNot, that is so funny - I had a very similar experience - plenty of honest answers to my questions and open information, but I couldn’t figure out how one could stuff a floppy, soft penis into a vagina!
Now, as to the shoehorn, ya got me - I’d say forceps, but it looks like only one - maybe it’s a zen koan - what is the sound of one forcep gripping?
Anyway, for English language reproductive info (and more!), I was pretty impressed with It’s So Amazing. It says for seven and up, but I bought it and used the pictures and some selected text to help my three year old understand what’s happening with our pregnant friend. I love that it goes out of the way to show a woman’s stomach (with a slice of pizza in it!), and the uterus with the baby below, to avoid the whole “baby in her belly” confusion. Plus it has stuff on menstruation, bad touches, homosexuality, and less controversial stuff like baby care. I’d say it’s damn comprehensive, and a valuable book for anyone with kids.
No breaststroking babies coming out of birth canals, though, so it loses a point for that.
If this is the same thing as I think it is (orange baby, thick outlines, strange pubic detail), there are at least a handful of LiveJournalers who use icons featuring this series, including animations of the baby coming out.
This is one of the ones we got for MilliCal. She studied it religiously.
Thanks! That looks fantastic. Your recomendation, and that of CalMeacham, go a long way. Plus, the whining of the Xtreme Jesus Freeks in the reviews about the pages promoting the homosexual and abortion agendas (because they define abortion as a “medical way to end a pregnancy” - the horror!) sort of clinches it. This is the book for me. I’m not going to even bother reviewing it at the library first, I’ll just get it.