Brief background: I have struggled with weight. Lost 70+ lbs three years ago and have kept it off and am now working on another 100. Method–exercise and eat sensibly. Thank heavens for TOPS. But food has always been an issue–my life revolved around it–I never felt in control–always on the edge of relapse and disaster.
This morning, I made a bagel for breakfast. And I only ate the top half–the half with the sesame seeds. I didn’t eat the bottom half first, because I like the top half best and I deserve the best. And I was full! And I realized I was full! So I didn’t eat the second half. *Because I was full. * And I didn’t feel guilty for wasting it. Because I was full. And I didn’t care if someone else got to eat it. *Because I was full. * So I put the other half in the refrigerator.
To some of you this may seem insignificant or even mundane.
But it’s not.
Today I owned the food; it didn’t own me. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. Perhaps because both are appropriate.
::does a little dance::
