I’ve been retired for almost exactly 8 years from my job as the IT director for a large (3 billion dollars in deposits) locally-owned bank. I only identify myself by former occupation when people ask what I did before I retired. My new and current identity in retirement is ‘retired and enjoying it’.
I had several distinct careers, but now I’m just Grandpa.
Similar to @pjd, I’m a lapsed sax player who found the TravelSax. What a game changer! Now I can play whenever I want without disturbing the neighbors!
I think of myself as a retired submariner, that being the job I held about as long as all my other jobs added together.
Now you understand the joke in my post that you asked about. If I’d stopped to explain the joke, it would not have worked.
In answer to @Richard_Pearse’s good question …
This:
My personality and life circumstances are heavily influenced by the job(s) I’ve held. As are everyone’s.
I never thought they defined what or who I was while I was doing them. I’ve never liked the English shorthand where “What do you do for a living?” was routinely phrased as “What are you?”. My answer? IANA my job.
I’m not even 1-1/2 years in yet, but I already rarely think of my occupations unless reminded by an outside influence. Such as posts here or calls from former co-workers. I still subscribe to various industry magazines & blogs, but increasingly they’re being thrown away unread. I just don’t care that much about that level of detail. But wow, how soon not watching the details morphs into having no clue about the big picture!
I’ve been retired for about 14 years.
I’ve travelled (6,000 miles to Las Vegas 
where I made a BFF), played Lord of the Rings Online for 14 years (what a game 
), written and delivered a bridge beginners’ course for my local club … and learnt to use an oven. 
I’m not retired yet, but at 60 I can see it down the road, and I’m looking forward to it. Even now I wouldn’t describe myself as a web developer unless someone specifically asked me what I do for a living.
If someone asked me “who are you?” I’d say I’m a guy who likes to cook and BBQ, enjoys outdoor activities, and occasionally likes to play guitar badly.
Old farmers rarely retire; we just grow on and on.
I enjoyed my work very much, and continue to teach (workshops, writing-focused, no grading). I haven’t volunteered as a counselor or support person because we decided to keep our schedules flexible. I thought of myself as a writer until my mid-20s, and I’m delighted to have the time and mental space to be back to the creative side of writing. I see myself as a retired counselor, lackadaisical instructor, and writer, emphasis on writer.
My wife’s niece is also a critical care RN supervisor. Some of her stories are fairly harrowing, from people dying as they walk in the door to the ER, to being assaulted by patients. You people are the true heroes of the medical force.
There’ve certainly been some horrifying events in my career but I try to block them out 
As to heroes?? No, we just are doing our jobs, much like everyone. But thanks for the kind words! 
Never the job per se, but I do identify as a computer scientist, depending on the context, of course. What I did was too complicated and arcane for the average person to understand it right off the bat.
I refer to myself as retired. It’s what I am. Working is what I used to be (and I’ve been retired long enough that I’ve lost whatever working persona lingered after I retired).
We use to need a board rule that prohibited people under thirteen from being members. Those days are long gone.
I think the demographic is a reflection of the board’s origins. People used to be directed here by the Straight Dope column so we had a source of new members. But the column went on hiatus eight years ago. So we’re just the people who haven’t left since then.
Public high school Social Studies teacher/Debate coach. Semi-retired from the latter.
I identify as retired and I identify as an engineer. When people ask you what you do for a living they are trying to get to know you better and what you used to do is a big part of that.
For nearly all of my professional career I was a manufacturing engineer. I was given a prototype and I worked to make it a manufacturable product. Mostly cutting edge consumer products or components of the same. We’d go from there being a few dozen ever made to thousands or tens of thousands a week. I developed the processes on the assembly line and the testing from release to production, to sustaining engineering to end of life. I did and still do a very little side consulting for an assembly equipment manufacturer in a very niche field.
Retired. Graphic designer for 40 yrs. Three yrs at a small boutique agency, 30 yrs freelance, seven yrs at a non-profit. Enough writing, photo, and illustration skills to be self-sufficient.
Aren’t message boards themselves a relic of the past when it comes to social media?
I can only speak for myself, but I anticipate a long and (physically and mentally) active retirement ahead. I’ll probably be intermittently posting here 20 or more years from now, if this place is still around. If enough others are like me, this board’s death will be very very slow. It’ll happen, but it’ll take awhile.
I think the Dope is doing better than a lot of social media have. Where’s LiveJournal these days, for instance? Or the way the Muskrat has caused so many to flee Twitter. Facebook is increasingly seen as a place where grandparents hang out.
So we skew old. Yeah, eventually that’ll be the end of this place. There may be no Dope in the year 2050. All things must pass, none of life’s strings can last.
The jobs were to make a living and hopefully to bank enough to retire well. Mission accomplished. Who am I? Well, I’m the sum total of my life’s experiences, just like everyone else.
If anyone asks, which they seldom do, i say i’m a retired person.
I am an Unwed-Mother, a Sacerdote, and Gardener.