Wow … until today, I didn’t realize that having a college degree makes you too good to put paper in a printer … or put toner in a fax machine. That’s just fucking amazing! In retrospect, I guess I should’ve gone to college … not for the eduction or to grow as a person or to BETTER myself … but so that I could feel better about myself and make everyone ELSE feel like a piece of shit, eh?
I am the executive assistant to the head of a federal government agency … think Donna on West Wing … without the West Wing. What this means, in layman’s terms, is that I’m a secretary to two very important people and serve as the receptionist for my office. Do I have a degree? No. Do I keep this office running? You bet your BALLS I do!
I’m at my desk today working on three separate important projects when one of our agents came into the front office. She was using the fax machine for awhile … and then walked over to my desk to announce that “the little red light is on.” I (very nicely) asked what the little touch screen said … to which my agent said (impatiently) “it says it’s out of paper.”
Okay, there are reams of paper right beneath the fax machine … as there have been for the past 12 years I’ve worked here … and this woman KNOWS this. This is NOTHING new. So, I jokingly say, “Whew! Thank goodness there’s nothing wrong … we keep paper in the cabinet below the fax machine.”
Here’s where I get pissed. She says, “I REALIZE there is paper under the fax machine. I, however, did not get a COLLEGE DEGREE so that I could add paper to the office equipment.”
Without saying anything, I get up … walk three feet to the fax machine … reach under … get paper … open the drawer … and shove the paper IN … close the drawer … and walk back to my desk and sit down … and it takes less than 30 seconds.
I then made the mistake of looking her in the eye and saying, “I’m thinking of taking night courses … could you clue me in to which major forbids the touching of office machinery?”
<sigh> She’s stomping around the office right now ranting that the “clerks” need to “know their place” and how we’re all basically Walmart checkout girls in business suits.
Okay, Pit … … here … is my rant …
To the agent in my office: I am not a “clerk” … I am an administrative assistant … I make $35K a year … and at 12 years, I’ve been here TWICE as long as YOU have. I am the EYES and the EARS of this agency … and YES, as a matter of fact, I DO change paper, toner, etc. on a daily basis. However, just because your DADDY paid for you to party for four years, that does NOT mean you can’t refill a machine that YOU, yourself, empty!
I KNOW my place … I’m the right hand of the head of this agency, you addled-minded BITCH … he doesn’t BREATH without checking with ME … and, while I’ll bend over backwards to work with every other agent in my office, YOU will get NO help from me.
At what point did our society become the have’s and have nots? So because I don’t have a degree I’m BELOW you? I’ve received national awards and won several trips to our headquarters in Washington NUMEROUS times … but next time I’m asked to go, I’d better stay here … in case you need me to add FUCKING PAPER to the fax machine, eh?
JESUS! I think I’m having a STROKE!