A REAL man doesn’t give a fuck what anyone else thinks about what he is wearing. He can rock whatever he wants to.
BUT, word to the wise (from a woman), unless you are gay, skip the short-shorts. Unless you are a gang-banger, loose the baggy long shorts which are already falling off your ass (shouldn’t be hard…just wiggle a bit). Unless you are 65 or older, please avoid the pleated mid-length numbers.
Hmm, guess that doesn’t leave you a lot to work with, huh?
So revert to WEAR WHAT YOU WANT…you are a man, right? If you are enough of one, shouldn’t matter and no-one will dare give you shit over your fucking SHORTS!
(sorry for the outburst, but we have an ongoing massive environmental/economic catastrophy and we are debating which style of SHORTS a man should wear? :rolleyes:)
I like those. Cargo shorts that are just about knee-length look good on a lot of guys. Don’t listen to the “guys shouldn’t wear shorts” crowd, it’s a damn shame to keep nice calves covered up all the time.
I prefer the military-style cargo cutoff shorts as well. But to include the cargo pockets (as well as my big gut), I get the way large size. This means the shorts go below my knees.
I know, they look baggy, but screw you. I’ve got lotsa pocket room. My current fave pair I found at the Army/Navy store for $5. They’re tiger stripe pattern. I think they look cool.
Real men don’t really give a g.w.f. about the opinion of some random person on the Internet with nothing better to do than captions random pictures and post them on a website called ICanBeDorkz.com.
Real men wear khakis, cut-off jean shorts, duck pants, BDUs, silk pyjamas, dungarees, jodhpurs, plaid breeches, taper-leg pants, togas, overalls, knickerbockers, tuxedos, single pleat chinos, hakamas, 'Seventes-era basketball short-shorts, judo-gis, parachute pants, sarongs, triple pleat plus fours, Class As, chaps, and kilts…as they see fit. Real men carry whatever kind of bag they need to carry their real man stuff, consisting mostly of tools, tech manuals, illumination devices, spare ammo, condoms, detonators and cannon fuse, Sharpies, and spearmint gum. and they don’t refer to it is a “man bag” or “murse”; the correct nomenclature is “gun satchel” whether or not it contains a firearm. Real men sneer at fashionistas with their ephemeral and arbitrary trends. Real men don’t use artificial creamer. Real men poke fun at Jack Bauer’s tactical incompetence. Real men can field strip and reassemble a Browning Hi-Power blindfolded in under 30 seconds.
Tom is doing fine in his Charlie’s Angels short-shorts there, but T.C. looks incredibly uncomfortable, and is clearly struggling to remain in the frame center while pulling his left arm nearly out of socket to make it absolutely clear that they’re not a couple of Village People groupies despite the fact that Selleck is leaning over him as if to get a solid shoulder and thigh brush. Either that, or Tom is trying to pick his pocket. You just can’t trust a Navy guy not to go for the strawberries, ya’ know.
A Browning Hi-Power? Feh. 9 mm’s are something you buy your daughter for her very first gun when she is a kid. No real man would ever carry one, even ironically, because real men don’t do that fag irony stuff.
A real man can assemble a pistol using a proper cartridge that starts with a “4” in however long he feels like taking to do it; he sure isn’t going to rush through it just cause your candy ass is nagging at him to hurry up.
Real men realize that it isn’t the size of the gun or caliber of round it chambers, but the skill at placing the round in the X-ring, be it a .460 Rowland or a .22 LR. A real man may prefer a .45 ACP (and every one of them I know does), but when it comes to getting the job done, “lt’s a toolbox. You put the tools in for the job.”
A real man isn’t afraid to say, “That queer can clean the clock of every man in this unit, so shut your pie hole, grab your steel, and follow his lead.”
Real men also don’t give a good goddamn about political correctness, either.
Then we get down on our knees and thank, with all of our hearts, the 7 year olds in china making $.07 a day who make those shorts.* Then we take what’s left from that $50-$60 and get some hookers and blow and then get on our knees again and rethank those 7 year olds in china for the left over money we saved that we were able to use to get those hookers and blow.
*What? Children in china need to feed their families too.
