Hi folks - I see to my astonishment that it’s been like 5 or 6 YEARS since I posted on the SDMB. How are you all doing?
Thomas? Thomas Jefferson??
Hi, there! You missed me!
Ain’t I grand. 
That one obnoxious poster got banned.
I’ve grown a moustache.
Well, you missed me, but I bet you’ll load up yer rifle and try again. There’s prolly a bounty on my head, somewhere.
Ok, I just read a smattering of your old threads. (Don’t worry about it, it’s a thing I do*)
I like you. You seem interesting and fun. Don’t go away, please.
(*I’m not a stalker I swear:))
Oops, dbl post
To the relief of the hamsters, I’ve grown slightly less long-winded. Sometimes. Maybe.
Didn’t you travel to like Antarctica or something?
What did you miss? Nothing much. The CIA merged with Google and the advertising code embedded in many web pages just got a lot more interesting. Prince Harry and Meghan Markle have been declared Duke and Duchess of Toronto; Casa Loma will be the ducal residence. US currency has fine print in Russian as well as Chinese now. Donald Trump made it into the history books again. A Dopefest had to be called off at the last minute because of ‘drone interference’. A meteorite impact has been proven to have ended the 14th Dynasty in Egypt. Also, I now have blue hair.
Cheffie! Balance! Woohoo!
I mean, I see Cheffie most days on flakebook, but I haven’t seen Balance in a while. You still larping?
The board acts up all wonky sometimes, people are annoying, folks get honked off over the smallest most trivial things -------- in other words you didn’t miss much and should readjust quickly. 
Welcome back to the fold, did you bring the pie?
Birth control, Ho Chi Minh, Richard Nixon back again
Moonshot, Woodstock, Watergate, punk rock
Begin, Reagan, Palestine, terror on the airline
Ayatollah’s in Iran, Russians in Afghanistan
“Wheel of Fortune”, Sally Ride, heavy metal, suicide
Foreign debts, homeless vets, AIDS, crack, Bernie Goetz
Hypodermics on the shores, China’s under martial law
There was some other stuff, as well.
But no fires that I’m aware of.
^Of course there were fires, we just didn’t start them.
Some obscure real estate developer from New York got elected president, thereby unifying the Boards to an unprecedented degree.
Plus lots of kitty pix, of course.