What Jayron said. One thing I do to speed things up is leave my cart in the back of the store (not blocking anything, of course) and walk up and down the aisles without it. I just grab an armload in each aisle and dump it in the cart, moving it as I go. No worries about being trapped behind the dreaded mouthbreather’s cart jamming up the entire aisle while she gapes at canned vegetables like she’s never seen them before. I’m outta there in 20 minutes.
As a bachelor, either I do the grocery shopping, or I sit at home and hope the beagle learns to drive and push a shopping a cart (and doesn’t spend the food money on chewy toys!).
Honestly, the grocery store is the only store I really don’t mind going into without knowing exactly what I want. I’ll just go up and down the ailes and pick out what looks good (one of the benefits to the single life). Of course, if I want to make an actual meal (i.e. more than one course), it is difficult because I end up with way more than one person can eat and end eventually throw some away (okay, a disadvantage to being single).
On the other hand, if it’s any other store (department, sports, electronics, hardware, clothing, etc.) I just want to get in, get what I need and get out. No browsing, no lollygagging.
yup, one more cheer for jayron. Those clerks move so slow you are afraid if they move any slower they might stop breathing. And the old ladies that take forever with the coupons and write a check for $5.20. Argh!
I can spend 20 minutes at home happily contemplating my belly button or posting on a dumb message board. But make me wait in line for 20 mins and by the time it is my turn I am ready to kill.
I would implement some rules:
- No coupons, they are a waste of everybody’s time
- No checks. Get the cash you need at the ATM
- Scanners for the public to use so you can find out the price of that item without having to chase down an employee. They have these in Europe and I can’t see why they can’t have them here.
And while I am at it I hate it that you have to bring the car to the front of the store as they do not let you take the cart to the car.
Hmmm… good responses. In contemplating the whole issue, I should have known that he would have hated the whole thing. This, after all, is the man who if we stop quickly for a couple things for dinner and I happen to remember we’re out of milk & butter has a big fit because “I am NOT in the mood to do a big shopping trip, let’s just get the things we need and get out of here.” I’ve recently started pointing out that if we DON’T get the milk NOW, then either him or me will have to stop tomorrow and get it.
I think he likes it best when the food just appears in the kitchen, ie, I go to the store and get it. If one of those grocery-shopping web shops serviced my area, that would be a perfect solution. Alas, they don’t.
That said, sailor, they DO have the little scanner thingies that you mention at my local grocery store, and I can take my cart to my car. The scanners were a godsend when they first appeared and everyone was afraid of them. Never a line, I could scan my stuff and be out in a jiffy. Now, though, more people are using them. Just imagine that same lady who waits until the very end to write out her check actually doing the scanning and trying to figure out the computer display. <shudder>. It’s now, once again, faster to go through the normal checkouts.
I don’t mind shopping so much so long as I can do it right. First off, I’m still at an age where it’s a possibility for me to do my shopping at 1am. That cuts out about 90% of the above problems right there. The only real issue is that the few clerks up front are generally not the shiniest pennies in the drawer, and given the usual opinion of grocery store clerks, that’s putting them pretty low on the food chain. On the other hand, you occassionally get a bunch of giggly teen agers running the drawers, slap happy at having to work at the wee hours of the morning. If you’re in the right mood for it, it can be fairly amusing.
All that aside, I like the actual act of shopping. I like picking out food and looking at the weight/fat ratios on the meats and choosing things that are a luxury to me such as prime cuts of meat or items from the Polish foods section. I like picking out stuff and knowing that I’ll be making a yummy meal out of it later and planning a meal on the fly as I wander the aisles. Of course, when I lived alone, by usual meal planning schedule went something like:
Sunday: Steak or some other meat, salad, vegetables, wine and dessert
Monday-Wednesday: Pasta or soup
Thursday-Saturday: Taco Bell or Wendy’s
I love shopping. I’ll go in with a set list and end up blowing $80 on spanish cheeses and another $60 on beer and wine.
As a specialty grocery store manager I have the opportunity to see how men and women shop. In general, men come in, get what they need, and leave. Women shop the store. Men, in general, don’t read the signs, don’t notice the big sale items, and have extreme difficulty in selecting produce. (One exception: the watermelon thump. I rarely see women thump watermelons, but men seem to take a special pride in listening for just the right sound before selecting a melon). Women seem much more savvy in our grocery store, making sure to get the size with the best price and letting me know that the store down the street has it for 10 cents less. Men can be counted on to buy the expensive gourmet products regardless of price.
It is not infrequent that we get a call from a female customer whose spouse will be stopping off on the way home from work to pick up groceries. They ask me or my staff to do the shopping, even to the point of reading a long grocery list and quizzing us about specials or fresh vegetables. “You see”, they say, “My husband could never do the shopping himself.” Because we are a mid-sized specialty store competing against the mega-chains, we will often do this as a service for the customers and have the bag of groceries ready when the guy gets there.
In my 13 years of grocery retail I’ve never had a man call and ask us to shop for the woman dropping by after work.
In defense of grocery clerks, many of our staff are college educated or putting themselves through college. Our main cashier taught himself Japanese. If customers would work to get themselves through the cash lines faster (i.e. write the check out prior to the final totalling of the bill, or at the very least find the checkbook) we’d all benefit.
In defense of your SO just what was on the list? I hate hunting for stuff in a store. Groceries or not.I’m a better shopper than she is, checking prices etc.but she seems to find things faster than I do ,although I am the first to ask for help. For you single guys you might try that as an opening line.
My wife and I go together. I am a evil shopper, that guy who can, out of a cart full of 100 items, tell you that the computer has the wrong price on file. And I’ve been 100% right. 
I love grocery shopping … it is usually a good time for me and my wife. Beyond the joy of thinking about all the tasty food, it is a good coupling activity.
Flipping cans of tomato sauce … juggling peppers … cart races around the aspargus display … all of it is good!!
MDE
Right on, my brotha. I do not like going to the grocery store, or most stores for that matter. Clothes shopping, once a year, max.
But I can’t condemn women for being slow. I’m terrible about that. I have to have exactly the right groceries, so I’ll stare at the bread for a minute before I figure out what kind I’ll buy for that week. Worst is the cereal aisle. I eat a bowl every morning, and I’ll spend as much as 5 minutes carefully contemplating each brand before I make my selection or two.
Oh yeah, and I do bargain hunt.
Thats why several of the stores up here don’t have coupons anymore… they have these cards which you scan and they automatically take off the sale items (the cards themselves are free you just have to zip off a form and you get the card immediately) The Co-op still accepts competitors and manufacturers coupons though… but not on $1.49 day (first Monday of the month usually) when its insanely busy cuz its got lots of good deals… then Safeway has those cards as well but it also has coupons (as well as sending out a booklet every month which outlines most of the deals for the month other then specific store sales and it has a few coupons as well)
It saves a lot of time instead of using solely coupons… plus with Co-op you can win free groceries each week if you use your card then drop the reciept in the draw bin…
For those of you who hate the 15 items in the 10 item line, I have a story for you:
I was in a huge grocery store with about 40 aisles. Express lanes were distributed throughout the 40 and the signs hung from the ceiling overhead.
I got into line with about 25 items. I thought I was getting into line NEXT to the 15 item express lane. Turns out I was getting into the express lane.
The cashier started scanning, hit item 15. Stopped, looked at me, and started unscanning the items. She made me go to the next line over.
I was so happy to see someone do that, that I almost forgot that it was me that everyone was staring at.
OT: Stuffinb, Lake Merritt.
I love grocery shopping, because I like seeing what’s new or fresh or particularly interesting in the produce section, plus I like to cruise the meat displays to see what they’ve got the markdown stickers on. I’m a cheapskate, and I’ll cook up anything if I think it’s been marked down enough.
What really cheeses me off about shopping, tho, is the people who feel a need to bring every last family member with them, so sometimes it seems as if there are 15 kids under the age of 6 swarming around their carts (which they ALWAYS push down the aisles abreast instead of in line), blocking everything, and getting all bent out of shape if you imply that maybe they’re really fucking up the system. That’s why I prefer to shop at midnight. Plus, the all-night grocery stores get some pretty strange shoppers starting around midnight. Possibly including me.
Well, I guess I’m kinda unusual. I really LIKE shopping. Yes, grocery stores, mall, catalogs, even eBay.
I love to grocery shop; Marcie cannot stand it. As you might imagine, I do the grocery shopping for the two of us.
I used to shop at Meijers when I lived up Nawth but we don’t have 'em down here. Great stores. I loved their house brand brown mustard and haven’t found any that good any where else.
Why can’t cashiers in grocery stores learn a little something about common sense and good manners. It irks the hell out of me to stand in line twenty minutes because of a shortage of cashiers. Then, when one shows up to open a new check-out line, the last guy in the line behind me gets checked out first. Hell, I am the one who has been standing there the longest, why does someone who just got in line get to be checked out before me? For that matter, why does the last person in line have to be rude enough to take advantage of that situation?
Grocery shopping is a hoot.
ALL other kinds is the debil (said in your best Kathy Bates, WaterBoy Mama Voice)
Do’s and don’ts of shopping:
Do…make sure you know what you’re shopping for…have a list.
Don’t…go shopping stoned. When you get home, you find everything in the bags is either chocolate or pink and coconutty and wrapped in cellophane.
Do…unit price. These bulk stores can rip you off big time.
Don’t…pull your pants down and perform “aisle scoots” to get your bum squeeky clean.
I don’t usually do that…I just ran out of stuff to type.
Hey, LouisB, I don’t know where you live, but the Nawth is creeping down here. We’ve got one Meijer’s here and another one on the way.
A related question that occurs to me in this thread: what is it about checks that men seem to have such a huge problem with them? It really takes only seconds to write one! A lot quicker than stopping at an ATM.
I almost forgot: While we were driving back from a long trip, we stopped at a Meijer’s to get gas (fuck mom-and-pop stores. This is THE ULTIMATE STORE. Put a used car dealership and a DMV inside, and this place would be perfect) on the way home in Northwestern Indiana. Seeing as we were almost back home, my wife slipped inside to pick up some groceries. She came back to report the greatest invention since aerosol cheese. You’ve been seeing about it in europe for YEARS. Are you ready for this?
Self check-out. Yup, no cashier, just a scanner and a Debit/credit card swipe machine. You scan all of your own groceries, bag them, and then run your card through the machine and you’re on your way. They have about 3 aisles in the whole store designated as “self-service” but they move about as many people through them as the rest of the store. They’re quick and painless, and only require one security guard to watch all three. Absolutely fucking brilliant invention thats been years coming. Now, if they’d only put this in for my neighborhood Dominick’s, I’d be thrilled. I could actually fully enjoy the grocery shopping experience if I didn’t have to deal with any cashiers.
Eh, we’ve had those things at Kroger’s for more than a year. They’re called “U Scan.” (Grr! U! I always write my checks to a popular store to Toys Are Us; on one memorable occasion, I penned We Are Toys. It made me feel better.)
Carry on.