So come on up and become a Canadian Citizen… it’s time we reversed the brain drain and increased our population even more.
You only have to swear allegiance to the Queen, learn the names of the Provinces, know the name of the First Prime Minister, and the First French Speaking Prime Minister (Hint $10 bill and $5 dollar Bill), And must watch at least 2 hrs of CBC each week for half of the year… The good news is that Hockey Night In Canada counts for those hours.
You must believe that Don Cherry is a total Jerk… but he seems to have a few good points there…
You may complain and bitch about taxes, but politely pay them in a timely maner. You must be able to have a superiority and inferiority complex at the same time when refering to our American cousins.
Complain about the lack of “Canadian culture” then switch from CBC to the American Stations quickly… Of course if you have Gray Market Direct TV you don’t have to worry about CBC at all.
You must be able to hold up your own in a debate on who is the greatest Anchor Peter Mansbridge or Lloyd Robertson and the politely defer your oppinion whenever anyone brings up Nowlton Nash.
You may Bitch about the amount of French and official bilingualism in English Canada and wish that we had laws for English only but remember to show the proper disgust that Quebec has French only laws.
Be able to be angry at the state of our Military but support any Government spending cuts especially if it is for new military equipment… besides what do we need an army for?
If you Live in the West you must despise the centre especially the cities of Toronto and Montreal. If you live in the East you must despise the centre especially the cities of Toronto and Montreal.
If you live in the centre but do not live in Tornoto and Montreal you must also despise them. If you Live in Tornoto you may Hate Montreal and if you Live in Montreal you may hate Toronto.
If you live up North no one seems to care who you hate.
No matter where you live you may feel free to despise Ottawa especially if you live there.
You must bitch about the resourses the rest of the country takes from your region but demand cheap prices for the resources you don’t have and take from the others. And should anything bad happen to your resources no matter what your oppinion of transferpayments you must demand more Aid from Ottawa immediately.
When you vote feel happy that you have so many choices open to you and then vote Liberal after all no matter how much you hate them the other guys don’t seem any better. (If you are in the West change iberal to Canadian Allience if you are in Quebec vote Bloc Quebecquois unless The Parti Quebecquois is in a really strong majority and you need to play one off of the other)
You must know the tenious canadian connection of any actor singer, novelist or Sportsperson in the world. If they were born in Canada you must know their name and place of birth.
Oh yes finally you must refrain from calling Z Zee, it must now be called Zed. Pease Check any fire arms at the boarder if you own them.
Welcome to Canada