So when will these things expire? Ever?!

Factual Questions
1

When will my little packets of mustard,ketchup, mayo and relish that sit patiently in my desk drawer eventually expire?

Will they “go bad”, bust out of my drawer and terrorize the neighborhood? Or are they sealed so nicley and completely that they are preserved indefinitely?

I see no date of packing, and I see no expiration dates.

And, if they do go bad, how will we ever know? These things are everywhere, so how to tell the good, the bad and the ugly?

What gives?

And, if you want to tell me that they never go bad, I’ve got a seven year old pack of mayonaisse I would like to see you spread on your favorite sammich. I’ve lugged this packet of mayo around from desk to desk for about seven years, and I’d like to see it consumed.

2

I know from experience that the ketchup in ketchup packets will have a cream cheese flavor to it after it has been kept for more than a year.

3

Hey, SDMBers! That’s it? No answer?! This is one of those great mysteries that goes unsolved? We’re stumped by little packets (is that redundant?) of ketchup, mustard and mayo?

The Straight Dope got licked by lunchmeat condiments!?

I must turn to the Big Guy and his staff? Gasp!

4

At heinz.com, I found this:

It doesn’t really answer the question of packets though. I’ll keep looking.

5

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=53085

There are other similar ones - do a search for ‘ketchup packet’…