Carson could give Arnold Schwarzenegger a run for being “grabby” and salacious.
Thom is the most talented of the bunch, and my place needs a workover. Ted is a close second on talent. Kyan has just about exhausted his advice on facial lotions, shaving technique, and hair products. He’s repeating himself now. I would probably bug him by calling him Andy (his first name) instead of Kyan (his last name).
Put down as another fan of Ted. I find his personality appealing, particularly his wryly understated sense of humor. He also strikes me as being the most grounded; he seems to take neither himself nor the phenomenon of the show very seriously, while at the same time taking his job, helping out these poor clueless straight guys, very seriously, giving them meals they can actually make that are more than tuna on toasted Wonder bread.
Second would be Thom. I think he’s also really funny in a low-key way, and his design suggests he has excellent taste.
Carson is kind of funny, and reminds me of a guy I used to know, but I’d be afraid of him commenting on my shlumpy lack of style. 
Jai is cute and also funny, but he’s kind of an urban hipster type, so I don’t know that we’d have a lot in common. Spending time with him, I think, would be more awkward than fun. “So, do you know this incredibly obscure New York club band?” “Uh, no.” “Oh.” <crickets>
And Kyan is just too blindingly hot. Yeah, I’m a straight guy, but I’m not blind. I don’t know if I could finish a complete sentence with him. “Yeah, my wife and I got a really good deal on the honeymoon, except the flight was kind of long and Jesus Christ you are a Greek god.”
So Ted all the way.
It depends on whether or not I’d be benefitting from their area of expertise.
If we’re just hanging out, Ted, for a variety of reasons cited above. Basically, he’s funny, he’s a nice guy, he’s witty without being overbearing, he’s obviously smart. I’d love to go to good restaurants for lunch and dinner with him. Plus, even if we were getting advice, he’s co-written several Esquire books on contemporary fashion and etiquette. He’s the show’s renaissance queer. And his fashion sense is more aligned with mine than Carson’s is.
If we were benefitting from their queer expertise, Thom, who also seems like a nice guy. We could use the redesign help with our apartment, and I’m already pretty up on how to cook a variety of meals.
Jai, Kyan and Carson all seem nice enough, but they wouldn’t be my first choice.
oh, Carson’s the boy for me. i’d gladly be his fag hag (uhhh, that IS the term for a good female friend of a gay guy, isn’t it?). i think he’s an absolute hoot, plus i’ve got a soft spot for blond guys. he’s just so out there gay that he’s irresistible. i think he’s the most consistently funny one of the bunch.
Ted would probably be my next choice. i’m reasonably competent in the kitchen already, so we could at least have somewhat of a mutual ground for discussions.
Kyan is probably the absolute cutest one of the bunch in physical terms, and i’d have lots of fun sniffing lotions with him… but i Have Issues regarding stuff i already have around, so we might not get along outside of the stores.
Thom does do amazing jobs with his house makeovers, but i’d probably be a little threatened and turn territorial if he started critiquing my decorating choices.
Jai is just too hip for me to relate to, even though he seems like an earnest and likeable-enough guy.
and yes, i’d love to see what would happen if the Fab Five took on somebody (GASP!)
Outside
New York
(if such a mythical land exists in their lexicon).
p.s. i’ve never researched it, but i’ve frequently wondered… who the heck picks up the tab for their makeover sessions? the guy they’re overhauling? the show itself? the shops they visit in exchange for the publicity? (sorry, that’s a hijack, isn’t it?)
The cost of the makeover is paid for by the producers of the show and the product placements. But they try to keep the cost of the makeover, especially the interior design portion, close to what the subject would be able to afford on his own.
Even though I am a girl, the one I would like to spend time with the most is Thom, I just bought a house and furniture is sparse.
So, to get my house more or better furnished, Thom is the man.
Second would be Ted, I could be in the kitchen all day learning about food/wine from him.
Carson would be a hoot to go shopping with, but would defer until I have had this baby and lost the and more weight. To maximise the clothing that we would buy.
I would pick Ted. He’s funny and intelligent, seems to be the most well-founded Queer Eye. I like to cook–we could shop, cook, eat at great restaurants. It would be a dream day.
If Ted wasn’t available, I would hang out with Thom. He’s another one with a great sense of humor and Og knows I could use some help with decorating. I have no taste at all.
Jai’s really cute. We could go to a show. But he’s definitely third choice. And I would hang with Carson before Kyan. Kyan’s cute, and he seems to be funny, but he’s not all that interesting to me.
Thom for sure, because he would clean and organize my house for me!
Count me in with everyone else who said Ted and Thom.
I have the biggest crush on Thom. He is soo cute.
Too bad he’s gay. ::sigh::
I’d pick Carson, just because he’d be fun to hang out with. The man has a quick wit.
But we’d only spend a 1/2 hour shopping for clothes. The man has horrible, trendy taste, and I’m a 41 year old, overweight white guy who lives in Montana. Tell me what flatters my shape, but I just buy Polo and Patagonia any way. It would be fun to take Carson to my favorite second hand clothing stores, which is where I buy 90% of my clothes (still brand name and good stuff).
I’m sure he could riff off the selection - has Carson ever seen Wrangler shirts?
But for a redo? Thom. I’d love to get input on the three rooms I have to paint.
Whistlepig
Ted. He’s my boyfriend who lives in the TV. His dry sense of humor cracks my shit up. We could go wine shopping and he’d point out all sorts of cool vintages. He could cook for me. It’s not that I can’t cook, it’s just that I approach it the same way I approached my chemistry labs–follow every direction to the letter. He seems well rounded enough that we could take a trip to the video store and find a couple movies. Then we’d come back to my place and he’d dig up some heirloom popcorn he found somewhere, and top it with some extra good French butter and sea salt. And wine. Lots of wine. And then we’d make out
Second–Thom. Unfortunately, I can’t paint my apartment. But he’d buy me some kickass furniture. This weekend I had to get a computer desk and a TV stand and I had no idea what I was looking for.
Next–Carson, only because I tend to doubt my fashion snese. I’ve been trying to follow the advice of Trinny and Susanna from BBC’s What Not to Wear but I think I need a real-life person to be a shopping assistant. I hate clothes shopping.
Kyan is hot. Maybe he could help me come up with a cool hairstyle. He’d have to wear a sleeveless shirt, though. Not sure what we’d talk about or do with the rest of our day. Oh, yeah. Except he’s gay. 
Jai is completely useless. I don’t hate him because of his personality–I loathe him because he doesn’t seem to do shit. I know I’m in the minority, but I liked what I saw of Blair (they always tried to edit him out of his episodes) a whole lot better.
Well, there’s a pleasant image.
Thom. Because he has such a dry, snarky wit (“it’s like we’re at a bus stop. In an eastern bloc country.”). But underneath that is a nice guy who can teach me a lot about interior design. Ted is my second choice because I’m interested in cooking but he’s smart in a lot of other areas. I don’t have any interest in popular culture so I wouldn’t benefit from Jai but he is a sweetie and seems rather naive. Kyan. Cute, but other than “start the product in the front of the hair” what does he know. Carson is the ultimate stereotypical frenetic gay. I could tolerate that for about 30 minutes, although we could talk about our horses. I like them all and they all have their areas of expertise. But definitely Thom first. (and easy e, I love the phrase “my boyfriend who lives in the tv.” Now I know what to call the British interior designer that I lust after.)
Thom.
First a stop at Lowes for supplies, then we redo a couple rooms in my house. Might not be his dream day, I will finally get some more crown molding up. Plus he has a great eye for color- I would love some help picking out colors for a few rooms.
Then good Pizza and Beer!
It’s Straight Guy Fun for the Gay Guy!
I LOVE Carson! I think he is so super funny. Even my fiance who I think is a tad bit homophobic has to laugh at Carson. He is just TOO much. I don’t think my gay friends like him because he is such a flamer, but I think he’s great.
However…
I HATE my apartment and if Thom can come and help me fix it, I’d gladly pick him over Carson. HE does awesome work. I like his style ALMOST as much as Vern’s from Trading Spaces.
See, I thought you would have picked Kyan. (Har har, I kill myself sometimes.)
It’s true that Thom is my favorite interior designer on TV, but it’s kind of pointless as I’m living in a dorm right now. So I stick with my original answer of Ted.
It’s true, he likes the flat-front look, maybe to accentuate the male
physique a bit more. I like him, cuz he always seems genuinely pleased when things go well.
Kyan, sweet Kyan - let’s go for a pedicure and a spray-on tan, and you can tell me once again about nose hairs.
Jai - cutie pie, earnest, dancing would be fun with him.
Ted - I would probably learn the most from him, and hopefully he would fill my freezer with enough yummies to last a few weeks
Thom - is he a bit on the serious side, or is that just me? I’d love to see his ideas on how to decorate my rat-hole
Hey, O-man, Mr. Beckwall and I are in Palm Springs, too.
We have another doper up in the high desert and tons of people in LA/OC/SD areas, so when should we host the Winter Sun Dopefest???