And, I might add, the jerkishness of those attempting to respond to Skald’s propositions isn’t at issue.l
I’m definitely in the minority here, but I’m agreeing with Ascenray. Still I’d have to know the people involved to really be sure who’s being stupid, jerkish, or a sensitive flower.
The first remark about men baking, sounds like a trite attempt at wit, but a lot of social interaction in offices is precisely that. I believe it can be funny to say something that clearly goes against reality: she likely understood you made the brownies.
The second remark about it being purchased says it looks as good as something from a commercial bakery – and that’s a compliment. I would bet money (under $10) that the woman did not actually think you were lying about making it.
Skald, I agree that you were being teased. You say you hate that, which is amusing considering you live to bullshit with (mostly strangers) on-line. The third time when she showed up to specifically request something, I see that as a direct compliment to you. Your response basically said, “None for you, I don’t like to be teased” which comes off as sensitive, delicate flower. And hostile. It took the interaction from playful --if clumsy-- to serious.
If you had to go serious, directness would have been better. “These are really for my group. You’re welcome to check if there’s any left after about 3:00. And incidentally, while I’m sure you didn’t mean anything by it, your jokes about me not actually baking bother me a little. I guess it’s a sensitive area.”
Not appreciating sexist humor does not make someone “sensitive.”
Hi Ms. goddess. Skald’s OP gave this quote, “Yeah, sure. No man can cook from scratch like this.” Perhaps the woman is denying the existence of French pastry chefs and gourmet TV cooking shows. Or perhaps she is spoofing stereotypes. I see the latter as more likely.
(Yeah, there are some other alternatives, I know, but are they more likely than it being a silly joke about stereotypes?)
Yes, I consider it quite likely that she is a sexist, the type of person for whom they make commercials with men who are helpless at home or in the kitchen and super smart women who keep them in line. I consider it likely because I have encountered such people and they are real.
That’s funny, because most of the chefs (pastry or otherwise) that I’ve worked with tend to roll their eyes right out of their head when someone says that.
Probably the only way to really know is for Skald to get to know her better and give a follow-up analysis, but it seems unlikely that will happen. Some things in life will always remain a mystery.
I’ve talked to head chefs of hotels and convention centres who’ve agreed with it. They don’t think it’s one of the rules of the universe or something, though.
Those type of comments can be spilt into two categories. It depends on how they say it.
I presented my brother with something one day and told him that I made it. He replied
‘No. You couldn’t have. You brought them.’
Another time, I presented my mother with something. I told her I made it. She replied
‘Oh my god, this is amazing. It’s incredible. You must have brought them!’
Very slight difference, but my mother was actually complimenting me, saying that what I made was on par to something a professional made, where as my brother was saying that I was lying, and I didn’t have the skills.
If it was a situation like my brother, she’s the jerk. If it’s a situation like my mother, neither of you are jerks. What you did wasn’t very nice, but she’s partially to blame, for not making herself clearer.
I vote her, and mostly because if I flip it to something that is traditionally done by men (say fixing a car) and a guy said to me “There is no way you fixed your own car, you’re a woman” and then when someone else said, “Oh, Poysyn fixed my transmission” and he said again “That is just not possible, since she’s a woman” there would be outrage and gnashing of teeth that he could be so sexist.
This is no different. Cooking and baking may be traditionally seen as a “woman’s thing” (even though some of the BEST chefs I know are men), so she was making an inappropriate and sexist comment.