So why am I still Single?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
41

Because you’re a loser.

Just look at all the the terms used to desribe you in this thread…

“successful”
“intelligent”
“sincere”
“thoughtful”
“considerate”
“aren’t an asshole”
“nice”
and so on.

I could add a whole bunch but I don’t want your love starved ass to start eye-ballin’ me.

I know Singledad knows this, but to all you folks out there who would rush to his defense, know that I am just a friend (I can only hope to aspire to such lofty heights) giving him shit. So fuggedaboudit.

Anyway, on a moderately serious level, you’re only single because you’ve yet to meet a chick that is ready for the kind of relationship an individual of your caliber would afford.

Consider only this: The woman that would complement you completely would have to be someone lacking where you are strong and vice-versa. What do I mean by bringing up this tired cliche you ask? And I answer:
What is it that you are looking for in a partner? Being in an intimate relationship with your best friend is the inevetable answer.

There are very few women out there who can complement you on a level commenserate with what you have to offer, the good news is that there is more than one.

This means that she will be a challenge, and invigorating, and attractive won’t hurt. (please excuse the butchering of the English language in the previous sentence, I was trying to make an impression.) This is not someone who comes along every day.

This brings me to the simple crux of my tirade:
You, my friend, are not an everydayd individual. YOU seem to enrich peoples lives by being involved in them, and also to improve people by association. I know I am.
So it stands to reason that a suitable counterpart would be equally rare, and this is why you are still single.

Simple, yes?

I love you man, but you can’t have my girlfrie-er, eh, I mean bud light.

42

Singledad, your not alone in respect to married women seemingly having a higher level of attraction to you than single women. I’m single and it happens to me too. I haven’t a clue what it is. I’ll think about it…

43

Well, I thinks maybe I have rendered the good gentleman speechless :smiley:
<runs to call the press>

44

Lexicon Bravo Baby! I like. :slight_smile:

45

Thanks!

46

Tried to post on this thread earlier, but I kept getting that annoying error message that means too many people were trying to post. And since I’m not here much on my off days, it took me a while to get around to it.

SingleDad, the answer to your question, as far as I can see it, is “beats me.” Mind you, while I am not married, I am certainly in the realms of the taken, and even if I weren’t, I get the feeling that I’m just a touch young for you. So I guess that means I’m one of the legions of women who, according to you, find you completely appealing. And yeah, you pretty much are. You’re a total hottie (at least according to that picture) and I find you to be intelligent and compassionate, as well as witty and amusing.

So here are my WAGs as to why single women don’t see that.

  1. They’re psycho. Sure, you can say that you’re not attracted to those types of women anyway, but it’s hard to determine psychosis on a first date, as your little anecdote above attests to. Hell, sometimes it’s hard to figure it out until many months. And psycho women don’t like well-adjusted men, except for the ones who feel the need to make the men psycho, too. And I’d imagine you can see that right away, and nip it in the bud.

  2. You’re afraid. “Pshaw,” you might say. “I’m not afraid, I’m actively looking for a relationship!” However, fear is a pretty pervasive emotion, and it’s hard to judge in oneself, especially when it’s directed toward getting close to someone. You may want it more than anything, but not be capable of it because of unresolved issues in your past. Well-adjusted women can usually smell fear, and they run far, far away from it, unless they’re the type who like to take on major challenges. And since I doubt you want a woman who wants to “fix” you, I’d imagine those women don’t get past one or two dates.

  3. You’re actively looking. It’s hard to ignore a man on the prowl. And you know what? While it’s not desperation in the classic sense, it might be a little intense for some women to know that you’re looking for a relationship and an eventual mother figure to the kids, when all they’re thinking of is the first step of dinner and a movie. Also, while this might be totally cliche, people always seem to find the right person right when they stop looking. The minute you suddenly come to a realization that dating is more trouble than it’s worth, the perfect woman for you will fall right into your lap.

I also agree with those who say you’re probably not looking in the right places, as well as those who said that a woman who fits the qualifications you need her to fit is probably about 1% of the population. And remember, a good 50% of that 1% won’t like YOU, and out of those who do, about 50% will end up not working out for whatever reason, be it time, chemistry, or something else. So you’re working with a very, very small percentage of women that will be acceptable to you and to whom you will be acceptable. Given that, is it any wonder you can’t find a decent woman? If only you were more average, but you’re not. You’re SingleDad, you’re stellar, and you should settle for nothing less than a total equal.

So what can you do to find a decent woman, aside from forcing every one of your dates to take the MMPI? I’m not sure. I’m not exactly an expert on what women want, because I’m not at all the average woman (as some of my friends on here can vouch for). Here’s my advice, for what it’s worth.

  1. DON’T be an asshole. Sure, you might see all these jerks with beautiful women. Realize, though, that these beautiful women are fucked up husks with no self-esteem, and in 30 years both the assholes and the women will be old, ugly, and alone. You don’t want that.

  2. DON’T rule out someone on looks alone. I see so many attractive men (and hell, sometimes the unattractive ones) do that. Get to know people regardless of first impressions. I’m not saying that you should try to date someone who you find phsyically repellant, but in looking for a life mate, I’ve found that if you sacrifice some high standards, the looks should be the first to go. First, it’s often the case that a good personality can make someone who is purely average-looking into someone beautiful (and the converse is true–I’ve seen people who were beautiful on the outside, until they opened their mouths and let their ugliness show). Second, looks will fade. But if you’re going for lifelong, that shouldn’t matter–what matters is the stuff on the inside–the kind heart, the wit, the fortitude, the nurturing. And quite often, those qualities will be inside someone who doesn’t have the prettiest face or the best body. But many men will never know that.

  3. DON’T be afraid of being hurt again. If you’re going to find someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, you can’t dwell on things that happened in the past. The first thing you have to realize is that this person you’re with (or will be with) is a new person. A clean slate. What has been done to you in the past, or what you have done to others, doesn’t matter. So what if every relationship you’ve had before this one failed, for whatever reason? That only means that you’ve been given the opportunity to be with someone new and potentially wonderful. That doesn’t automatically mean that it’s going to fuck up just because everything else did. Don’t let the dating coin be weighted. If you flip it ten times and it lands on tails, assume that all the flips before mean nothing when you’re going for number 11.

Hope this helps.

47

SingleDad, onloine relationships are the easiest possible type of relationship there is & that’s probably why you have so many woman fawning over you…

Forget them, rent a puppy, go to the beach or park with it & watch all the woman come hither.

If a deaf guy can get hearing women, how hard can it be?

48

handy-

I don’t see why a deaf guy would necessarily be less attractive than a hearing one. After all, a deaf guy wouldn’t notice when we yell out “Oh SingleDad!” in bed.

49

Green Bean! You promised you wouldn’t mention that here!

50

You’re probably single because you ask questions like, “So why am I still single?”. In the words of one of my favorite characters, “What did I tell you. You’re thinking to much. You just gotta go for it!”

51

OR as Occams Razor, just change your handle to ‘notsingledad’

52

Have you seen my “nice guy” thread? I have the same problem.

53

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=18957

Check that out, for some advice, mostly depressing.