::cracks knuckles expectantly::
So - anyone? Anyone?
sidles in, reads OP
sidles out quietly
Count me IN!
::rips off shirt, revealing puny chest and non-muscles under blindingly white skin::
My shoulders and hips need a little work…
::lays face down on table::
Go to it, please. How much will this cost again?
Hey! Fishbelly white is my FAVORITE color.
::cracks knuckles and gets blob of lotion::
Al.
[sub]I have GOT to stop posting late at night[/sub]
(Pokes head in)
Would anyone in here have any burnt umber? No? Ah, well, worth a try.
Sorry for the interruption.
(Back to here)
Yo! Sign me up for a massage. I just had a long day with my folks and need to relax a little.
takes off all his clothes and lies down on the table
What’s that? I’m suppossed to wear a towel? And I’m NOT suppossed to be face up? Man, what a gip!
Sorry guy - this is a FAMILY thread.
Now, unless you want that thing painted to look like a caterpillar, I suggest you cover it up. 
::looks up::
Don’t worry about it…I get comments about that all the time, such as “I supply White Out with the white”. Now, don’t worry about posting at night…I’ve been on and off all day for over 12 hours now…in fact, it’s almost my “nighty-night” time…[sub]Why did I say that? What’s next? “Goody-goody-goody”? How about “Guess what? Chicken butt”? Ugh.[/sub] So let’s get on with that massage.
::puts head back down expectantly::
Mmm, massage! Do I have to make an appointment, or do I just wait over here until my turn is called?
Doggie rips off his shirt, revealing his tan, lithe body, washboard stomach, and bulging muscles of steel
“I find zat hard to believe, Schmart!”
OK, Doggie clumsily removes his ancient, soup-stained T-shirt, liberating his beergut, and exposing the poor unfortunate onlookers to a doughlike expanse of Out of Shape White Boy[sup]TM[/sup] broken only here and there by ugly mutant hairs, moles, navel lint, and pimples.
I’ll just take a number then, shall I?
My feet and calves, if you wouldn’t mind.
I would very much appreciate it.
:sigh:
I need a real massage. My massage therapist left the spa he worked at to start up his own place. I gave him my number, but do not have his. He was supposed to call me and start coming to my home once a month or so on Sundays and give me a massage there, but I haven’t heard a word. Bastard! So I haven’t had a massage since late September.
Sure, alice, I’ll give you a massage. C’mere.
Well, here we go…
::* rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub*::
::* knead knead knead knead knead knead knead knead knead knead knead knead knead knead knead knead knead knead knead knead knead knead knead knead knead knead knead knead knead knead knead knead knead knead knead knead*::
::chopachopachopachopachopachopachopachopachopachopachopachopachopachopachopachopachopachopachopachopachopachopachopachopachopachopachopachopachopachopa…::
A while later…
Ok - were done here - I hope you feel limbered up. Now, who was next - AHunter3 it’s yer turn - get that shirt off…
::skims off t shirt::
::clambers up on table::
::closes eyes::
HEY! AHUNTER! LET ME GET UP FIRST! GET OFF ME, MAN!
::squirms out from underneath the dead weight of AHunter::
Whew. Finally. Thank you alice! I needed that
::slips $150 into alice’s g-string, before realizing this is not that kind of massage parlour, sheepishly pulls it out [sub]not minding to go back in though[/sub] and writing a check::
::skooches over on one side of table::
What th’ hell!!?
::rubs sore spot in tummy where moronmountain elbows landed::
Alice, I thought you called me!
…or was the previous-customer elbows thing some kind of new technique or something?
::thinks about that for a moment::
Y’know, I can’t say as how I care for that part!
Is it my turn now? Is it?
Oh hang on to yer jockies there guy - I’m here, I’m here.
Ok, now just relax - Well, here we go…
::rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub rub::
::knead knead knead knead knead knead knead knead knead knead knead knead knead knead knead knead knead knead knead
knead knead knead knead knead knead knead knead knead knead knead knead knead knead knead knead knead::
::chopachopachopachopachopachopachopachopachopachopachopachopachopachopachopachopachopachopachopachopachopachopachopachopachopachopachopachopachopachopa…::
A while later…
Ok - all done. I tried to be gingerly around that elbow dent - I hope it’s ok. TheLoadedDog yer next - you must have been cold sitting in the waiting room with no shirt on for, what, like 5 hours?
Anyhow - let’s begin here.
Oh, and moronmountain Bubba[sup]TM[/sup] my large menacing assistant said something about you trying to reach down his pants? With money? Um, don’t do that - K? He gets really crusty…
Talk about CRUSTY! His underwear is FULL of skidmarks…
::looks down at own pants::
And mine are too now…stupid big scary Bubba.
::Realizing I’m still shirtless…::
AND GIVE ME MY SHIRT BACK!
::slowly dons t-shirt::
::stretches::
Aaaaah! Mmmmmmh!