Nothing.
Good in bed.
I wish.
The shirts. Definitely the shirts.
“Remember that guy, the one who was around here for a while, that guy that some people knew…?”
“No”
Other than my husband, I doubt anyone would even notice.
Starting as a child, I’ve always thought that I was completely forgotten the moment I left anyone sight.
I think that I was mildly troubled. That in death I might be “in peace”… I’m an atheist, and any services would be for the living not for me. That I was trying to be a good guy when I lived.
“He was good with the Adobe.”
“That he was. Kinda weird, though.”
“Yeh, but not like Michael Jackson weird.”
“No, no. More like Gary Busey weird.”
“Really? I don’t know if I’d go that far.”
“Hmm, maybe you’re right… His teeth weren’t nearly as big.”
“yeh, what’s with Busey’s teeth anyway? They’re like the size of Scrabble tiles.”
“I know, right? Is there such thing as teeth reduction?”
“You mean like breast reduction? But for your teeth?”
“Yeh.”
“I doubt it. Big teeth doesn’t cause back pain.”
“Huh?”
“What?”
“Never mind. What were we talking about before?”
“Photoshop?”
“Right. He was good with the Adobe.”
“That he was. That he was.”
a beat.
“Taco Bell?”
“Sure.”
If someone posted on here that you died, I’d think “Oh, that was the guy from TN who liked anime and seemed very close to his mom.”
I… don’t know. I don’t think I have a good sense of what people think about me. I hope it would be something nice.
“He liked to draw.”
“But did he ever do anything with it?”
“Not for a long time. Then it looked like he was finally getting his act together… and then, the accident.”
“Sad.”
“Embarrassing, too. The whole back of the car fell off when they hooked up the towtruck.”
“I’m glad I wasn’t there.”
“Yeah, some of those towtruck operators are sharks.”
“I know, I’ve seen them laying in wait along the 401. Wait… who were we talking about again?”
“Um… just a minute, let me think…”
Now, if I were fantasizing…
"His prose was Gaimanesque, his ideas Hawking-quality, his doodles Thurberesque, his banter Ferguson-ish.
“And his posts were Sampiroesque.”
“That’s all, folks. Open bar in the church narthex.”