So, you want to kill superhero...

Take a superhero, any superhero and kill 'em good. Kill 'em REAL good. The death should be appropriate to the hero’s powers and abilities:

Superman: Since he’s vulnerable to magic and kryptonite, I’d cast a spell on him and make him climb into a kryptonite-lined lead coffin. I’d then take the coffin and launch it into a black hole. Supes ain’t gonna come back.

Batman: Prepared or not (:D), Bruce can’t withstand a Patriot missile in the chest. Don’t wait up, Alfred.


Wonder Woman: As everyone knows, Amazons are rendered helpless when tied with their own lasso. Therefore, the trick is to tie her down and then exploit her much-publicized peanut allergy. Once she is well secured, her body should be slowly and carefully coated with peanut oil. Of course, any unnecessary articles of her clothing should be removed beforehand, in order to maximize the available surface area. No matter how she struggles and strains at her bonds, every available square centimeter of exposed flesh should be massaged with shimmering, glistening oil…

Oh yeah, She-Hulk, Black Canary and Starfire are also allergic to peanuts.

Hasn’t been that way for decades. You’ll have to figure out another masturbatory fantasy to NOT share with anyone.

**Otto, **you kill Wonder Woman your way, and I will kill her my way.

In an issue of What If . . . the Punisher killed Spider-Man by luring him into a building and then blowing it up. That’d work on most heroes, all you need is a good excuse to get them into that building then . . . KABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!

Green lantern

Piss on him, and then shoot a nuke in his chest.

It should be noted, for the record, that the only sure-fire way to kill The Joker is to break his neck.

Unless you kill him in a “flashback,” in which case just shooting him will work.

I thought it was “chain Wonder Woman’s bracelets together” to make her lose her powers.

Captain America…

Give him a recording of a week’s worth of conversation in the Oval Office. When he realizes how this country is really run… he’ll kill HIMSELF!

Batman could be totalled by the Spanish Inquisition. He wouldn’t be prepared because no one expects the Spanish Inquisition


You are now officially my hero.

Wait, does that mean I have to kill you now?

Aquaman, meet “The Tanning Bed of Doom”

My powers are infinite and I’m immune to everything… after all, I’m British


Once again, you’re making the mistake that all evil geniuses make.


Faster than you can say “It’s a trick!” the black hole will spit the coffin into another quadrant, where it will fly close to a yellow sun. The outer lead layer will melt away, the inner Kryptonite layer will burn up and Superman will be re-energized by the yellow sun. He will then make his way back to earth and kick your ass.

My suggestion – turn Lois Lane evil. It’s the dame. There’s always a dame.

I bet the ultimate joke could do it!

Call Fred Hembeck and put him onto the job.

Uh… no.

There is only one lasso of truth. One. Diana is the sole possessor of said lasso.

You might be thinking(I use the term loosely, spunk boy) of the Golden Age version where she would lose her powers if a man welded her bracelets together. Post-Crisis that is no longer a plot device that can be used.

I doubt you’d be devious or fast enough to get the lasso, thus leaving Wonder Woman free of your roller derby Charlie’s Angels fantasy.

His power ring is not affected or cancelled out by yellow anymore. He does like water sports though and he hopes you’re carrying a FULL bladder.


Give him a big hand! He’s British!

I can’t possibly compete with no one expects the Spanish Inquisition, but I’ll try.

Sneak up behind Green Lantern with a can of yellow spray paint in each hand, coat him with it (I know, I know, not yellow anymore–I haven’t read a comic in 30 years…so sue me). Then gag and tie him behind a paper target. Hand a quiver full of yellow-tipped arrows to Green Arrow and say “Can you hit that, dude?”

When he finds out what he’s done, Green Arrow will give up archery, and that’s as good as dead.

If you want to mix some peanut oil in there somewhere, feel free.

Spiderman: Mix Ortho “Roach, Ant, Spider spray” with some Raid “Home and Garden Multi Bug Spray,” add in some peanut oil just in case, then put it all into a Ace Home and Garden Sprayer. Disguise the sprayer as a camera and say “Hey Spidey, I’m just a cub reporter trying to make a name for myself. Could you pose for a picture?” That should do it.

Silver Surfer: Using some silver spray paint, coat a ULI Inflatable Surfboard. When it’s dry, show it to him. He’ll be so depressed he’ll just waste away.

Ret-con him/her out of existance.

I know the new green lantern’s immune to that, but I was talking about the original.
:wally ;j :smack: :dubious: :cool: