Socially conservative Dopers: What would you do?

Daily floggings, ritual exorcism at my fundamentalist church to drive the demons of homosexuality from his spirit, a diet of bread and water, and hair shirt enemas.

Duh.

Regards,
Shodan

Ditto.

Unless I’m going to have sex with them later.

5? Really? My daughter is going to be 5 in a mere 3 months and if that’s the cutoff for normal/kinda strange, than we’re in trouble. She has already told me that, when we go on vacation in August, she doesn’t want to wear the “pull up to the shoulders” bathing suits that girls have to wear because boys get to wear just shorts and that makes more sense when it’s hot out. She also knows that she wants her 5th birthday party to have a Dinosaur theme. She can’t stand the princess stuff, any of it.

IMO, 5 is way early a cutoff, but then again, I’m definitely not socially conservative.

Really? I put a priority on knowing who could possibly want to have sex with me.

That was the laugh of the day.

No, that was the laugh of the day.

Knowing who has a penis tells you this how?