Let your boy be a girl for Halloween?

A former co-worker (FCW) of mine has a 3-year-old son. He decided he wanted to be Dora the Explorer for Halloween, because he just loves the show. FCW tried to distract him, suggest other ideas, and generally talk him out of it. Finally she just told him that he couldn’t.

FCW told me this story as if it was totally obvious that I would agree that he couldn’t be Dora. When I told her I wouldn’t have a problem with it, she said I couldn’t understand since I only have a daughter, not a son.

So I’m asking you Dopers. Would you let your child dress as a character of the opposite sex for Halloween? Does it matter if it’s a particular fictional character (in case you’re not up on these things, Dora is not very “feminine” at all) or just a girl/boy in general? Does age matter? How different is it for boys vs. girls?

Well I’m chiming in about my daughter so I guess my opinion won’t be valid with your coworker but…

I took my 3 year old costume shopping for halloween. We looked at a lot of costumes in many stores. She finally decided she wanted to be a fireman. I had no problem with that.

If my son decided he wanted to be Dora - I’d have no problem with that either. They are little kids playing pretend. I would think a bigger problem at that age would be fighting them on the issue and making them feel ashamed of their imaginations.

I was the Wicked Witch of the West when I was 9 or 10. My folks had no problem with it, and if my (nonexistent) children wanted to dress opposite, I’d have no problem with it either.

At 8 months of age, my twins are too young to have any opinions – however, I was thinking that as the ultimate cheapo Halloween costumes I could just cross-dress them :stuck_out_tongue: .

I have a hunch, though, that when the time comes my Hubby would flip if our son wanted to do something femme. Yesterday LittleMan was playing with his sister’s doll and Hubby chided him “No, no, that’s your sister’s doll, here, you play with this truck”. I snorted - Hello?! “Let him play with the doll, it will be good for him, teach him to be nurturing.” etc. etc. I think he gave the doll back to him. His sister actually prefers the truck.

I swear, sometimes it feels like a time machine has transported us back to the '50s!

To be completely honest, I have to admit that I would have a problem with it. Even though at three years old, it doesn’t make a bit of difference for the child’s development, I would have a problem with it. My rational mind can say “outdated gender roles,” and “focus on achievement, not sex” and all that, but deep down I’d think that a boy that age should dress up as a boy, even on Halloween. When he gets into his teens and wants to go around in drag, either as a joke or not, then more power to him.

And yeah, there’s a double standard, too, because I’d be fine with my (hypothetical) daughter’s dressing up as a male character.

I wouldn’t have a problem with it if that is really what he wanted to be. It will probably make a cute story for him when he is older.

It should be ok for any kid to go as anything they would like.

But at the risk of sounding insensitive or not pc, the kid may catch a lot of grief dressing up like a girl, and maybe that’s what the mother is worried about.

From what I understand of boys that age, a lot of them are drawn to “girls’” costumes, etc, simply because they are much more eye-catching and colorful.
I have a 2-year-old daughter, and am expecting a boy any time now. I assume there will come a day when he’ll want to dress up in something of hers, and I plan to be cool about it.
At this age, it just doesn’t mean a thing.

Heck in Elementary Shcool you had to write a report on an autographical book and dress up as that person. I went as Rose Kennedy.

When I was attending temple for Purim I would usually dress as Queen Esther and I also dressed as a woman for a few Halloweens’ Last time was when I was 20,

And I’m normal or proeety normal since I am a doper and all.

I say let the kid go as what the kid wants to go as.

As Dora? No problem. As something like a ballerina? I might have a small problem.

From the thread title I assumed you means “be a girl” was his idea for the costume, i.e., “Hey Mom, I want go to trick-or-treating as a girl this year”.

I am going to venture a guess that if it had been like that FCW would’ve been more OK with it. It’s the concern with “Uhh, is my kid oblivious to gender to the point he doesn’t know Dora is a girl?”, which isn’t a factor (the opposite, in fact) with “Hey Mom, can I go as a girl this year?”

(Of course it’s OK, though. Sheesh.)

I wouldn’t have a problem with it, but I’d be pretty keenly aware that a lot of other people out there would have a problem with it, and I’d take that into account. I guess it depends on where I lived. Out here in the San Francisco/Bay Area, I’d let him dress up as the Queen of the Fairies, if that’s the costume he had his heart set on. If I were in Darkest Louisiana… no, I probably wouldn’t, out of concerns for his safety and, as much as I hate to say it, my own parental rights. I can think of a lot of places where letting your kid dress up like a girl would be seen as a sign of an “unfit parent.”

I would have no problem with my son (who is four) dressing as a female character for Halloween. He sometimes pretends to be Catwoman when he’s playing ‘superheros,’ and that doesn’t bother me either.
I hate how rigid our society’s rules are on what is ‘for boys’ and what is ‘for girls.’
This is one of my don’t get me started topics. So I won’t start.

I wouldn’t mind, but I would bet that my husband would. However, so far we only have girls, so I guess it won’t be coming up in the near future.

I have friends whose son, at 7 or 8, decided to be Snow White. The kids at school did bug him, and he replied, “What? You’re supposed to dress up as someone you’re not!” They answered that no, the point was to get candy. Oh well. He seemed to handle it just fine, though–talk about self-confidence!

I’m a guy who dressed up as a female for Halloween one year. It hadn’t been my intention to do so, however. I had bought what the box said was a “Clown” costume. When I opened the package, however, the cheap plastic garment was emblazoned with a picture of Wolf Gal, a character from the Li’l Abner comic strip. Since my brothers, sister, and I were staying at Grandma’s house while Dad and Mom were away on a trip, I added my sister’s old “Fairy Princess” mask and hit the streets in a neighborhood where none of the resident kids knew me.

I got several “what a cute little girl” comments from the folks passing out candy – more than did my sister, who jealously said the adults could all tell there was a boy in the “Wolf Gal” suit and were just humoring me. I was about nine or ten years old at the time, so my identity as a male was, I trust, more developed than FCW’s son’s is. Still, my vote would be to let the lad play at being Dora for a night. She’s really a more positive role model than is a pirate or ax murderer, after all. Of course, I have no kids, so I’m free to deal with the question in a totally hypothetical manner.

When I was 10 years old, I needed a cheap costume quickly, so I bought a wig and dressed in my sister’s clothes. Just last spring, my 18-year old dressed as a cheerleader for a school skit.

I don’t think it’s a big deal, a little deal, or any kind of deal at all. It’s a costume, not a lifestyle choice.

I wouldn’t have a problem with it. As a child I knew I was a better cook than my sister, but that she was better at sports. These are still true.

It’s dressup. I don’t see what the big deal is.

A few years ago, when my son was four (he’s seven now), he decided he wanted to be the Statue of Liberty for Halloween (this was 2001, just about 7 weeks after 9/11). My wife and I both had mixed feelings about it – he’s not the most he-man of boys anyway (previous costumes included Mr. Rogers, for example) – but we ultimately decided that the negatives of making a big deal about it outweighed the negatives of letting him do it, so we did. Got a couple of quizzical looks from other parents in the neighborhood, but nothing we couldn’t deal with. Doesn’t seem to have had much long-term impact – starting school and being in class with mostly other boys has roughened him up some, and he’s very into baseball, etc. I’d say you’re more likely to get away with it at this age than later – and the odds are pretty good that he won’t want to be a female character again anyway – my son’s been a baseball player and The Cat in the Hat the two Halloweens since. This year we’re thinking about having him wear a baseball uniform and adding some butterfly wings so he can be . . . an Infield Fly.

I wouldn’t really be against it. I might think it was a little odd, sure, but probably not enough to even raise an eyebrow over, especially if it’s a fairly young kid. (Of course, having my kid want to dress up like Vampirella for Halloween would probably be a different story, though. No matter WHAT their gender or age. :slight_smile: )

And this all begs the question…would anyone mind a daughter dressing up as a male character? I do remember my little sister dressing up as Frankenstein one year, complete with full Karloff mask.

Not to be all PC, but why would anyone have a problem with this? There are plenty of female firefighters IRL, so dressing up as one has little to do with gender roles, IMHO.