With the overwhelming response to Dead Horse, NM (well, at least a couple of responses including a rimshot), I bring you yet another mundane, pointless post I must share:
Solidity of Hamlet
By Will Shake’n’Bake
TUBBY, OR NOT TUBBY. Fat is the question.
Whether 'tis globular in the hind to buffer the seats and benches of outrageous hardness, or thick in the arms or in a chin that’s doubled by impressive ingestion.
To diet, to eat no more. And by a diet to say we end the heartburn and the Thousand Island slop we subject our flesh to.
'Tis a consommé devoutly to be dish’d.
To diet, to fast; to fast, perchance to revert. Aye, there’s the rub: for after that Fast of Death what creams may come when we have stuffed ourselves with mortadella must give us pause.
There’s the respect that makes calamity of such a backslide.
For who would forego the trips to stores and bakeries,
To birthday parties, to company luncheons,
To outdoor barbecues, to fast-food restaurants,
Suffer the pangs of horrid hunger and the too-slow reduction of unwieldy weight when he himself might his surrender make with an open fridge?
Who would exercise, to grunt and sweat under free-weights, but that the dread of excess heft, that social stigma from which no fat person is free, troubles the will?
Thus weight-consciousness does make dieters of us all, and to banquets of great diversity and amount we must therefore say good-bye, or lose the game of attraction.
Hark! The fair Oprah! Be all thy sizes remember’d?
Even funnier the second time I read it. I’m telling that other guy at that other board that you ripped him off.
Again, I believe Gertrude’s observation that Hamlet was “fat” was Will’s dig at his friend, the tall, overweight actor Richard Burbage who first played Hamlet on stage.
