That reminds me of something that happened to me about 6 months ago.
I was driving a Saturn that had a problem where sometimes I couldn’t turn the ignition completely off to remove the key. No big deal, I knew the trick to get it to release. Then I got the recall notice where they were fixing this particular problem. Sweet! I made my appointment and dropped off my car. Don’t remember what loaner they put me in, it’s irrelevant. Later they called me that it was ready so I went to pick it up. Got in. Turned the key. Crickets. Not even a click.
So I went back in and told them what was happening. Their guy goes out and confirms it. We’ll need to work on it some more. Just sign here authorizing the work and that you’ll pay for whatever needs done.
Umm. What? Fuck to the no. I brought you a functional car and you broke it. You fix it.
More argument. But finally they came around to my point of view.
^^^yay! Go you!!!^^^ I have had that same problem. They tried to hold my car for ransom, til I paid an exorbitant ammt. For something they broke. When I came back with the sheriff deputy, they gave me my keys in a New York minute. I dared them to send me a bill. But they didn’t.
Those pins in shirts are the best kind you can get, I used to grab all I could get my hands on. Save them and give them to your favorite seamster or seamstress. I am not even kidding.
Years ago I had a minor issue (dashboard didn’t light up “D” when you were in drive gear) and eventually they wound up shipping my entire odometer out for repairs. It took five or six WEEKS to get my car back … and when I did, someone had stolen the inspection sticker.
Off the inside of my windshield. Gee, think it might’ve been an inside job?
I am, to put it mildly, not very au fait with technology. I bought a printer. Couldn’t install it. Tried my best but the fucking thing just wouldn’t work. Called out a guy. He came and charged 75 bucks to connect it. It worked. Then, at some point, SOMETHING happened and now the cunting thing won’t connect to my computer. Tried googling the problem and the “explanations” for how to fix it are so fucking abstruse they may as well be written in fucking Chinese. I have to fiddle-arse around with drivers, and downloads, and installations, and uninstallations, and reinstallations and a bunch of other shit I don’t know how to do. And that’s assuming that the “solution” I found is calibrated for the actual printer that I’ve got which is by no means guaranteed because there’s like a fucking billion different makes and models. Now I have to call the guy back. That’s another 75 bucks.
So, to recap:
150 dollars for a printer.
75 dollars for a guy to come round x 2.
THREE HUNDRED FUCKING US DOLLARS so that maybe, just fucking possibly maybe, I can print some fucking Word documents.
The problem, as I see it, is a simple one: Printers are too fucking complicated. Every feature, every little extra bell and whistle the makers build in, adds another level of complexity to the overall product. The more complex the product, the more likely it is that something can go wrong. This tin heap of shit digital paperweight can (allegedly) not only print, it can scan, it can fax, it can connect to my phone. It could probably pilot Elon Musk’s fucking space car if you pressed the right buttons.
MOTHERFUCKERS!
I DONT’ need a printer which can connect to my phone. I DON’T need a printer which can double as a fax machine. I DON’T need a scanner. Motherfucker, I don’t even need COLOUR for my fucking purposes. I just need a thing which can spit out the words that I type in good old fashioned black and white. You fucking CUNTS!
I’d be better off with some fucking Amstrad dot-matrix piece of shit from the 1980s than the useless piece of shit I’ve got now. I swear to Christ I could fucking kill some cunt. I hope everyone involves in making this piece of shit dies in a fire, but not before witnessing the deaths of everyone they love.
Great rant, Jake. Nicely done all around. Good luck with your next printer, since I assume you are currently hurling this one off a twelve-story building. (Note: I once put a particular BASTARD vacuum cleaner out in the street to be run over by, I hoped, a bus or something. Sadly all the BASTARD drivers drove around it.)
By the way, I prefer bastard to cunt but then again every cussword seems to insult someone so never mind. Maybe we should stick with, what, asshole?
Everybody’s got one, so that’s a good Equal Opportunity Annoyer.
Serious suggestion, Jake: look for a B&W Laser Printer.
Those are designed to be workhorses, and they just sit there and print. Not fax/scan/chat with your phone/copy your butt. They often have tech that is virtually the same as twenty years ago. A designer friend got a used one because of issues like yours, and ten years later it’s still pumping out crisp B&W prints.
The good: apparently my discussion about a new position in my company went well. The hiring manager asked if I would say something to my boss as a professional courtesy letting her know I intended to look at other opportunities. There’s one other person in the running.
The bad (and this is really a mini-mini-rant): I had to tell my boss about it yesterday. She’s got a reputation for being pretty terrible as a manager and has lost 2 employees in the last 4 months, but she and I are friends and she considers me a peer, so we work well together. She jokes that I’m her “easy button” because my area and employees rock along really well. She doesn’t want me to leave and said she might cry when I let her know about the position (she’d been snooping on my calendar and asked about it before I could tell her).
Anyway, I told her that I was bored, which she knew because I’ve said that before, and that I needed something new outside of the organization in which I’ve been working (I’ve been in the same position 5 years), so now she’s trying to throw a bunch of random shit at me that I know is hopelessly broken and couldn’t be less interested in to get me to stay, and it’s getting incredibly awkward. I really don’t want to talk to her until she chills the fuck out, but she won’t drop it.
Other than either saying that or hiding, I don’t know how to get out of this ridiculously awkward discussion. Goddammit, don’t make this weird. I’m not breaking up with you, I’m bored, and it has nothing to do with you!
I’ve had a similar conversation but slightly different conversation with some hiring managers.
“Well you don’t have all the skills we’re asking for”
“If I did, I wouldn’t be interested in the position. I want to learn new things. If you’ll look at my resume, you’ll see that I’m very good at that, for example…”
Windows won’t automatically install the drivers so you have to do that from CD or download from website but it couldn’t be easier. It also doesn’t install all the crapware that the name brands like to. Just the driver and nothing else.
My soon to be ex-manager has been doing something similar. He’s also called me to review documents I delivered two or three months ago and for which I never got feedback; of course he hadn’t even opened them before the meeting and did things such as say “oh, you should explain what the symbols mean” “flip over the page called ‘Index’ which he’d disregarded Would like this work?”
I loved the look in his face when he asked “but how did you find this new position?” “oh, I didn’t, they found me. I’m currently getting between 3 and 6 hooks a day.” Yeah, pick your jaw and eyes up before you step on them.
Dammit, I’m “expensive” (more once you add subcontracting layers) because I’m worth it, because I’m at the top of my profession, because I can do in five minutes stuff for which others take half a year. Because I know where to hit the machine, and exactly how hard to hit it. And I paid my dues to get here. I’ve been a cleaning lady and a tutor for wannabe-firemen who couldn’t do fractions and a night shift lab tech. I’ve taken jobs in places where others didn’t want to go, sometimes simply because they were “in the provinces” :rolleyes:. And I can use my inbox as an economic indicator and damn, right now? Western Europe must be doing good.
If she looks toward you as a peer, why not suggest that SHE try taking the position you’re contemplating, and you stay behind and run the outfit she’s not so good at running?
Sure, she still loses you, but maybe that position will turn out to be more her speed. Meanwhile, as the new ruler in her former domain, boredom will be the last thing on your mind…
