(11) The Mass Maniac. This creatine-chugging meathead must pile weight upon weight onto the exercise machine until he can barely lift the bar. Then, he repeatedly lifts it as high as he can, at which point he completely relaxes, letting the weights come crashing down. Bang! Lift…bang! Lift…bang!
All except I was going to call #11 The Hercules Wana Be.
This guy is so ridiculous. He grabs such heavy dumb that it takes both arms to carry over to the bench. Then he ask for help from two other people to help him get them in position lift. Then of course he can only do 1 or 2 reps (WITH LOTS OF GRUNTING AND NOISE LIKE HE IS PASSING A BOWLING BALL THROUGH HIS BUTT). Then to my disbelief he goes back and gets even heavier dumb bells and the repeats the whole procedure again.
Sometims I wish the spotter would accidently drop the weight. 
It shocks me how many of these he-man lifters have TERRIBLE form. I was always taught that form was most important, not weight. Then I see guys who, judging by their physique, have done SOMETHING right, but then throw their neck, back, butt and whatever else into doing bicep curls or calf raises. How the hell is this doing you any good? If you can’t maintain good form with the weight you have on, lower it. So many injuries seem to happen this way.
On to my pet peeve- my gym is small & private, owned by a former competitive bodybuilder. Its really nice, quiet, uncrowded, no icky aerobics/Baywatchers in sight, lots of weights and I don’t have to worry about working in with the Incredible Hulk (I too am a girly girl). But my God- the silicone quotient is astonishing! The women who work out there tend to be in great shape, and diet so that their body fat seems to be minimal. But rather than just look like that, they all have these great big fake titties. Perky, stand up with no bra-type boobs that most women can only dream about (don’t say it). You would think that living in CA would have numbed me to silicone, but not true.
Oh well, me and my “I have nursed a child” boobs will have to be content with what we have! At least I’m at the damn gym three times a week.
Gad. So much hate… I have to confess i am guilty of leaving the weights on the machine. 20kgs is probably euivalent to 45lbs. It just never bother me when other people left weights on, because its just a bit of extra excercise isnt it? its what you came to the gym for in the first place. And a non specific bit of exercise will probably do you good (unless you throw out your back). People work out all these specific muscle groups but what happens to the stuff you neglect? If you are merely relying on the gym for health it seems likely that you will be good at your excercises and poor if you ever have to do anything real.
My point- why are you going to the gym if you cant have a goal like being able to unpack the fucking weights?
There is actually no venom there, but i shall argue for the negative.
Gollum
Oh, yeah, “so much hate.” Do you understand what forum you’re posting in?
If it’s “just a bit of extra exercise,” why the fuck don’t you do the extra exercise and rerack the weights you just used? Just because it doesn’t bother you doesn’t mean it doesn’t bother the person who will be using the equipment next. Did you read my OP? I already have herniated disk, IOW, a fucked up back, which makes it impossible for me to move a bunch of god damned 45 lbs weights without being in pain. Get it?
You guys forgot the most anyoying lifter of them all…
The Perfect guy.
When I used to work-out at the gym at Michigan, there was always at least one guy there who had Legs and arms like tree trunks, could bench 550, squat 750, was happy to help anybody, gave tips to anyone who could use them, cleaned and reset every station after he was done, and read over his quantum physics notes between sets. Stupid asshole. Made me realise how women feel when then bitch about Claudi Schiffer. 
Yeah yeah, i get the pit bit. And your back is a bad thing, but im sure anyone would help you out if you asked.
The only reason she’d have to ask anybody (IOW, impose on them) is because some inconsiderate shithead couldn’t be bothered to rerack the plates.
Do as I do and solve all of the gripes and bitches.
I stroll into the gym, pausing to take a last drag on my smoke right at the door and crush it out on the sidewalk under my square toed Dingo boot heels. I suck in my slightly protruding stomach, pull up my ‘mature man’s’ jeans, make sure my Levi short sleeved work shirt is unbuttoned enough to display my sparkling white crew necked T underneath and stride into the place.
In supreme confidence I cast a steely eye about the great, noisy room filled with the sweaty bodies of fit conscious people, get a heady whiff of pheromones, hormones, stale sweat, machine oil and antibiotic soaps, cast a sparkling grin (plastic) at the cute, buffed babe in the spray on spandex workout suit behind the desk, admire her muscles and lean - manlike face, being careful not to acknowledge that she might be growing a beard and has no tits worth looking at.
I lift my mirror finished sunglasses, listen to the music booming out in excellent workout style, see the pear shaped housewives sweating up a storm on the treadmills, laboring on the stair steppers and slopping back nutrient shakes at the bar. I observe the Conan the Barbarians pumping iron with veins bulging out on their arms, legs and heads, hear the crash of steel on steel, and then, weary from it all and pooped, I leave.
I’ve had my workout for the day. I need a couple of cold beers to replace my lost fluids and the air-conditioning of a dimly lit bar to cool me off.
Whew!
Feel the burn! (Rolaids work great.)
Where did I put my smokes?
Inconsiderate shithead?
Its her own goddamn fault for having a weak back in the first place.
Bring it on.
Inconsiderate shithead count - 1.
You know, I would never blame you for the fact that you have a damaged cerebral cortex. I assume it’s your mother’s fault for shaking you when you were a baby. It’s a pity she didn’t shake a little harder.
BTW, are you one of those people who doesn’t flush the toilet because the next person would have to anyway?
One of my favourite things to do at the gym is get a machine, load it up with all the weight i can find, take a breather and snigger at all the people who go to use and then have to walk away because they couldnt be bothered to unload it. Its even better when people try and unload it all and hurt themselves in the process!!! That always puts me in hysterics. Even better is the guys who try and get me to unload it, as i put it there. I spit in their faces. They get rool angry, but im bigger than them so they dont try anything. The gym threatened to revoke my membership, but i threatened to break the managers legs with a baseball bat, so they let me stay.
My other favourite thing is to give my leper friend lucy a good fisting before i go to the gym, then i just wipe the stuff off my hands onto everything and everyone. Talk about smelly!
What is this you say about flushing? I shit in other peoples nests, not my own. Why would I want to flush then?
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The Cruiser. Stands in the gym shower/steam room/changing room and stares at you. And I mean stares at you. Does this day after day after… These dudes get quite a “rep” around the gym.
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The Invader. Asks to work in with you on the equipment you’re using. When it’s your turn he stands two feet away from you and stares at you the entire time. I usually ask them at this point if I can help them with anything.
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The Retards. Totally misuse equipment. Straddles dip bar with legs and hangs backbwards off them. Takes 10 lb. dumbells and repeatedly smacks self in stomach. Uses butterfly machine for leg work–uses the foot release pedal to work out legs. Yes, I have seen it all. Amazing really.
And then there was the guy I saw in the gym locker room wearing a nice pair of black lace panties.
I said “Been wearing those long?”
He said “Well, ever since my wife found them in the truck!”
<fleeing>
- the trojan horse - asks if he can work in and then produces 3 more friends he had hiding behind the universal machine so they can also work in.
i must say i’ve had quite the opposite experience at my gym (the weight room in my high school). The experienced, heavy lifters are the only ones that ever unload the bars. Hell, we even unload other people stuff when we don’t need to use the station. the only things we don’t unload is hte basr on the platforms. They have the bouncers (weights made out of rubber that bounce instead of falling through the floor when dropped), because people try to use them on bench. They want to impress people, adn think that they look cool by using the bouncers because they’re twice hte width as a 45. And about the grunters…it helps. I figured that out real quick while throwing discus/shotput. And we don’t do it to impress or get attention. In reality, i hate the looks people give me when i’m yelling like a banshee. One last bitch: why do you assume that the strong lifters are morons? lets jsut do some numbers. i’m 16 and look like a jock (6’3", 210). i bench about 315, squat around 450. Power clean is about 275, push jerk is about the same. and i carry a 4.3 GPA…yes, better than a 4.0. i have an iq between 145 and 155. i just took the PSAT/NMSQT and will in all likelyhood be in the 99 percentile. i enjoy the challenge and self discipline involved in lifting. Does that make me a dumb jock?
chris
No one posting to this thread said they were, so why do you assume that anyone is assuming this?
porcupine-
it has been said several times, a few examples follow:
punoqllads- “This creatine-chugging meathead”
btw, the dropping weights thing can help prevent back injuries. try doing 200-300 on power clean or anything about 300 on dead lift and setting the bar down gently. i don’t wanna join porcupine with a wrenched back.
ricepad- “These shit-for-brains refust to let anybody work into their sets, and end up monopolizing a piece of equipment for ages while they rest between sets. Yeah, you dumbfuck…” ya, i know he was talking about a certain type of person, but did you ever think that they’ve had the ‘trojan horses’ ask them before? or people who can’t keep up?
thanks for calling me on that one…there weren’t as many specific examples as i thought…i read too much into most of the posts. i’m just on edge about the whole thing after a speaker on the evils of stereotyping called me a rich dumb jock at school…because my school is generally well to do and i was wearing a football jersey. my question still stands, why are jocks often thought of as dumb? i’ve known a few very smart jocks, and about an equal number of shitheads. within the grouping of meatheads, there’s a bell curve like there is in any group. why pick out jocks instead of, say, my photography class? it’s an advanced class (meaning we’ve all been in there for more than a semester) and i actually had one person ask me how to turn the timer on. the on off switch.
chris
I think everyone here was talking about specific moron muscleheads, not muscleheads in general.
The person who called you a “rich dumb jock” is a hypocritical doofus.