No, this is not a rant against all muscleheads at the health club. This is for the fucking incondiderate asshole muscleheads who leave the equipment loaded up with a bunch of 45 lb plates. I’ve got a herniated disk and I really don’t want to fuck it up further by unloaded the weights that some asswipe left. If I knew who you were, I’d sandwich your dick between the 45 lbs plates. If I could find it, that is. It’s probably shrivelled to nothing from all the steroids you’re taking.
Well, it’s not my fault you’re such a pansy, porcupine.
[sub]Running away.[/sub]
Relax, dear. They are just trying to impress their boyfriends. 
Porcupine,
I feel your pain. I can’t stand the meatheads at the gym who, for some inexplicable reason, simply must leave 405 pounds on the bench press after they’re finished. Come on, Einstein, you’re a big, strong guy. You put the fucking weight on the bar, you lifted all that iron, and now you’re too weak to put it back on the rack? Have some common decency, you aneurysm-waiting-to-happen.
As a mild hijack, I also can’t stand the big guys that insist on making as much noise as a collapsing auto parts store when they load their weights. Yeah, we see you, asshole. We know you can lift the weight of a boxcar. Now, tell me what the square root of four is. Just put your weights on the bar…that’s right…quietly, now. Now pick it up. Put it down. Goooooood. Repeat until you finish your set. Excellent. Wait, jerkoff. Where do you think you’re going? Put these fucking weights back where you got them!
Sheesh.
Well, yes, I am a pansy. 
I’m a girly girl, as matter of fact. drop can attest, since he’s met me.
If I ever actually see one of these muscleweenies load up equipment and not unload it, they are going to get ripped a new one.
Most notable characters at the health club
- The Grunter - this guys is trying to set a speed record for reps, and he must grunt loudly with each rep. It sounds like a bad porn movie when he is around. Wonder if he makes as much noise in bed
- The Convict - I have no idea if he is in fact a convict, but he works out in blues jeans, work boots, and a dago tee. Yeah, that must be really comfortable. Really greasy hair. Looks like an extra from a prison movie.
- The Smelly Guy - Reeks at 30 feet.
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The Social Club- These guys must lift weights sometimes, because they’re all in good shape, but damned if I’ve ever seen them lift the first bar. They stand around, leaning on equipment, making loud conversation about women they’ve banged, snide comments, and they occasionally try to talk about politics. Their insights are invariably hackneyed. They also all have a carb drink or creatine shake glued to their palms.
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The Mackin’ Employee- Under the guise of “Personal Trainer,” these guys home in on the most attractive women in the gym, close in on them, and engage them in vapid conversation for the entire length of a workout. There could be someone ten feet away, screaming for a spot, and these morons will never notice.
- the jerker - the machiavellian who jerks the weights past the actual muscle group he’s supposed to be working in order to get from start to finish on each rep. repeats this behavior on every rep on every machine or bar he uses. his spastic workout attracts the attention of bemused onlookers.
zwaldd,
…right up until the time he throws his back out, at which time the bemusement becomes outright contempt.
- the Drip. He strains, turns red, and sweats up a storm. Then he leaves. Does he wipe down the machine? He does not. So I either have to use my towel to wipe off his pools of sweat, go halfway across the gym to get a paper towel (if they’ve refilled the supplies) to wipe up his sweat, or work out in his sweat.
News flash - you’re a fucking MORON.
(8) The Wussy. This prissy little guy (thank God I have only encounter one) can’t have the fan on because :::whimper::: the cool air makes him sick, whines if the music is up too loud or is on something other than “soft tunes” because :::snivel::: it gives him a headache, sulks when someone beats him to the TVs so he can’t watch CNN, and :::boo hoo::: has to pull the blinds because the sun hurts hims widdle eyes (the sun isn’t directly shining into the building).
If you’re such a delicate little creature, stay the fuck out of the club!!!
Re: Grunting. From what I understand, most lifters are instructed to grunt. It gives them more power. I personally am not a grunter, but when I have on occassion, grunted, it really does seem to help.
I’m talking about in the club, not on the toilet.
Sheesh.
This happened today. At my gym I went to the bench/squat rack (Smith rack?) and there were 2 45s on the bar. I add the weight I needed and when done, take off what I added, leaving the original 2 45s. Should I have taken them off too?
Here’s my bitch. In my gym, we have dumbbells from 1# to 65# and various machines. Anyone who wants to squat/bench more than 130#, has no alternative other than to use the Smith rack. So I’m supposed to be happy when some woman decides to put a 5# on either side of the bar, sit down on the bench and do repeated reps of endless reps? Hey! There is a military press machine, probably about 50 5# dumbbells and 30 10#s, straight and curl bars with enough plates to put on 60# or so. So you have alternatives. But I don’t have the same luxury. And its not as tho I can work in with you when there’s only 10# on the friggin bar. Fer crying out loud. If you aren’t gonna lift any more weight than that, go home and swing the milk jug around your head.
And to that guy who monopolizes the Smith rack, doing nothing other than chest and arms, why don’t you work on them chicken legs of yours for a change.
Oh yeah. You could toss a pair of shorts and a t-shirt over that leotard you are flowing out of. (And the same comment goes to fat ass guys who wear those tight shorts to advertise their “nice package.”)
Ah. It’s grand to be such a fine physical specimen that I can stand in judgment of such mere mortals.
(9) - The Idiot. Agrees to pay monthly dues for full access to the weight room and cardio-vascular machines only to actually go twice. His name is Jack, as far as you know.
The Overcompetitive Dweebs
I work out at my company gym, and bankers are quite a competitive bunch. Many a time has the idiot next to me on the rowing/cycling/stepping machine peered over at my display, only to increase his speed and grin at me like he’s beating me or something.
Look, you waste of carbon.
- I’m running on at least 3 resistance clicks higher;
- I’m doing a fifteen minute stint on this rowing thing, whereas you colapse after two fucking minutes;
- You’re not arriving anywhere sooner than me just because your speed on a stationary machine is higher;
- Strokes per minute are NOT what counts on a rowing machine. Look at the distance you’re covering, and select the “Display in/ex-trapolated 500 meter time” option. Hey! See? You actually are SLOWER than me. So, with your higher SPM’s, you’re SLOWER and LESS EFFECTIVE. Happy now?
Next time, take someone who looks even fatter than me. My condition happens to be superb, even if I don’t fully look the part. Dolt.
Thank you, I feel better already.
(edited for effect) I think this line belongs in the circumcision thread.
I just KNEW I should have thought of a better word. Even though it IS the correct term. Porcupine, your interpretation says a hell of a lot more about you than about me
**
[/QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Dinsdale *
**This happened today. At my gym I went to the bench/squat rack (Smith rack?) and there were 2 45s on the bar. I add the weight I needed and when done, take off what I added, leaving the original 2 45s. Should I have taken them off too?
**
[/QUOTE]
No, the dumb fuck who left them there in the first place should have taken them off. If you wanted to be extra nice you could take them off.
**
[/QUOTE]
Oh yeah. You could toss a pair of shorts and a t-shirt over that leotard you are flowing out of. (And the same comment goes to fat ass guys who wear those tight shorts to advertise their “nice package.”)
**
[/QUOTE]
This reminds me of this guy I used to work with that would wear his high school polyester navy blue with white trim gym shorts to work. This despite the fact that, based on the sausage like appearance, he had gained at least 50 lbs. Bleecccchhhhhhhhh!
And Coldy, my mind is always in the gutter.
As the very girly porcupine can attest, I don’t spend much time in gyms so these types are all revelations to me.
So, I have an honest question: Is it bad to leave weights on every exercise? I think I’m pretty good about putting away the weights after I’m done, but sometimes, if it’s an exercise where people do a lot of weights (like leg press), I may leave a 45 on each side. I figure the vast majority of people are going to leg press that or higher, so I think the considerate thing to do is to leave that single 45 on each side because it almost always saves people time. But reading the OP made me think twice…
Any thoughts on if it’s OK to leave a plate on in that situation?
(10) God’s Gift to the Gym. These shit-for-brains refust to let anybody work into their sets, and end up monopolizing a piece of equipment for ages while they rest between sets. Yeah, you dumbfuck…I got nothin’ better to do than to sit here watching you sit there. I sure hope you need a spotter on that next set, bucko…
Avumede,
The specific machine that was left loaded yesterday was the plate loaded leg press. I am nowhere near doing 90 lbs on this (the thing itself without any weight loaded is 80). So IMO you should unload all the weights; you never know who is going to use it next - could be someone coming off an injury like me, or just someone who can’t lift much for whatever reason.