(Some) Cyclists, I am really getting sick of your shit

The BBQ Pit
41

If cars ran stop signs and stop lights as frequently as cyclists do, you’d have to throw out the entire concept of traffic control. The reality is that the vast majority of cyclists NEVER obey traffic control devices, unless they risk getting run over by proceeding. That isn’t the case for cars.

Cars usually obey TCDs, common infractions are always on the periphery of strict adherence. Going really slow instead of stopping at a stop sign. Going through a red just as it turns. Cyclists don’t even acknowledge the existence of the device, they treat every intersection as though there is nothing controlling traffic and proceed/stop based entirely on whether or not they’re going to be hit. If I drove my car like that, I’d get tickets constantly, and wouldn’t have a license for very long.

42

I’m talking about riding on trails-- groups of pedestrians often take up what amounts to both lanes when they’re going in one direction. I’m happy to pass on the left-- but leave me some freakin’ space on the left to pass on.

43

I’ve done a triathlon in your neck of the woods - one of the reasons they might do that is that the shoulders of the roads are in a terrible (practically un-cyclable) state. But - they absolutely shouldn’t do that during a race. If you see it happening during a race, complain. Race directors respond to complaints and crack down on racers who don’t follow rules.

One thing I notice when I’m in a car is that I rarely see cyclists doing just one thing wrong. The ones who are weaving in and out of traffic, are also not stopping at lights and not signaling and not wearing helmets and not wearing reflectors, and bouncing on and off the sidewalk. It’s not just one bad decision, it’s several- all at once.

Considerate cyclists tend to be generally considerate all around.

44

So do I, but replace “gas guzzling SUV” with “rocket launcher.”

45

“No, dude, your other left!”

46

I got no beef with cyclists, 'cept I giggle at their spandex outfits.

The dickhead-who-happened-to-be-on-a-bicycle I saw on Tuesday, though, I am prepared to loathe. Or something.

Yes, I know the Drag is busy. It’s a fairly narrow and irregular road going between the university and all the shops within a street’s crossing of it. It’s also an artery into downtown. The unfortunate bastards in cars get to creep through, pretty much.

There’s this one awesome intersection that’s actually a huge lit crosswalk. Everyone crosses between the West Mall and the UT Co-op. Dozens of people might be crossing over during the day. It’s a little more sparse after six, but rare is the hour on a weekday when there’s nobody passing through.

The guy who split the lanes, dodged in front of moving cars, and zipped ahead of everyone through the red light into a bunch of pedestrians (somehow his spandex-clad ass did not crash into anyone, which is quite the blessing) hit the Asshole Trifecta. I wanted to open my door in front of him.

FTR: yes, I know it’s dangerous to cycle around here. Or around anywhere. I know the bike lane is often encroached upon by people who parked badly. But dude, there IS A BIKE LANE THERE. It’s like three, four feet wide. Your butt is not that big. Heck, my car-driving butt isn’t that big. I know it’s harder to start and stop a bicycle because you’re doing it all under your own power. But dang it, I don’t want to see you crash into a pile of students and I really don’t want to see you get the pasting you so thoroughly deserve. You’ll give me nightmares. You’ll give the guy who kills you PTSD. You’ll give the road crews a messy job. You might even have family who loves you. Stop it, man.

47

I like to think that I’m a pretty considerate cyclist. I wear garish neon jerseys so that I’m visible, a helmet so that I have some protection against the inevitable tumble and I obey traffic signs.

No bell but if I’m coming up behind someone I actually (gasp) SLOW DOWN while calling out something like “Passing on your left”, because as many folks have noted people tend to jump randomly left or right and without knowing which way they are going it’s a coin toss whether I’m going to be in a crash.

It’s the law that I obey the same traffic rules as the cars - so I ride on the correct side of the street (not the sidewalk), obey the signs and signals, etc. And I ride defensively - assume that drivers don’t see me and will crush me if I don’t actively watch out for myself because frankly that’s pretty much true.

Ivylass, nobody is FORCING you to pass on a blind curve over the double-yellow line. Those riders taking up the whole lane may be in the wrong and inconsiderate and a bunch of self-important dicks but you can simply slow down until it’s safe to pass (which is the general law anyhow). Not worth getting in a crash. Cyclists are supposed to be accorded the same respect as any other vehicle on the road - yeah we’re slower but if someone was driving a big slow truck you might get pissed and want them to pull over and be ticked if the driver didn’t get out of your way but that doesn’t mean you should pass them blindly or try and edge them off the road or something (which some drivers do to bikes). This isn’t excusing riders from having to obey the traffic laws, just pointing out it’s not an excuse to break more laws yourself (especially since 4000lbs of car vs. 200lbs of bicyclist is not going to turn out happily for the bike).

I have a low opinion of the idiot cyclists who do all the stupid shit people have discussed in this thread. I also despise the drivers who try and run bikes off the road while screaming “Move over!” (I’ve had people try this on me) or otherwise ignore the actual laws. And it irks me when groups of pedestrians take the clearly marked BIKE PATH instead of the PEDESTRIAN PATH, then walk side by side so that they take up both bike lanes and give me a dirty look when I want to pass by.

48

Dare I complain about those rocket scientists who refuse to touch their handlebars? Hey, you want to steer by telekinesis? Stay in your Mom’s driveway.

49

The cyclists around here have a bizarre sense of entitlement. The entire peloton will blow through a stop sign onto a major road without stop signs expecting the cars to stop. They all act like it’s a stage of the Tour de France. It’s a fucking training ride you assholes, and it really doesn’t engender any good will to piss off drivers in a 4000 pound automobile. Why do you have to ride 5 abreast? Can’t you just set up a single file paceline?

Then there are those solitary pairs of clowns who ride side by side. What are you, a bunch of 8 year old girls? Must you be chatting all the time or something? Go ahead and pull the full pussy move and start holding hands, why don’t you? It gives me road rage. I’ve done my share of bike riding. I’ve ridden from Canada to Mexico so it’s not like I don’t understand a cyclist’s perspective.

50

Hey, I look good in those.

51

At least in some states, bicycles are vehicles. That means that they have to obey traffic signs and wear the legally mandated safety gear (and many states will enforce all of it); on the other hand, it means that vehicles have no right to pass them. If a cyclist needs to ride in the middle of the road because the right hand side is full of shattered glass, drivers need to drive behind him as if there were a slow car ahead.

As for Mass Effect, I hope lobstermobster fulfills my fantasy. I would be sympathetic, if not willing to join, if they weren’t such assholes. Illegally blocking roads, intersections, and highway onramps is … illegal. Fuck them all.

Not to mention the fact that whenever a minor traffic accident occurs (usually because they’re crossing against the light), the first thing these fuckers do is surround the vehicle and throw their bikes underneath the cars so that when the police arrive it looks like an SUV did plow through a wall of bikers. Fuck you, fuckers.

52

Ok, fine:

Here’s the main reason I get more pissed off at cyclists blatantly ignoring the rules of the road: If I’m doing everything right and they ignore a rule and I hit them while I’m driving my car, it’s much more likely that they’ll be seriously injured while I walk away with no physical damage to me and minimal damage to my car. But I would have to deal with having injured or even killed someone else, whether my fault or not.

While if the same accident results from the driver of another car doing something stupid, my car will be more damaged, and I may be injured. So may the occupants of the other car. But it’s much less likely that I would accidentally kill them when they ignore the traffic laws.

That’s my big problem with bicyclists who ignore the traffic laws they are supposed to obey.

53

I’ve been sick of cyclists’ shit for some years now.

I don’t drive and have never owned a car. I walk or take public transit everywhere I go. And I hate the bike riders in my neighborhood more than I hate the drivers. Why? Because they’re more irresponsible than the drivers, and because they get on my ass more than the drivers, that’s why. Let me count the ways:

Drivers leave me the hell alone on the sidewalk.

Drivers usually follow the traffic laws. Yes, usually sucks. But it’s better than practically never, which is the best most bike riders can manage.

Yes, drivers run red lights, but they’re predictable about it. Drivers run red lights just before they change. All I have to do is stay on the sidewalk till all the lights are done changing and the cars have stopped, and I’m good to cross. Unless a bike rider is coming, because he won’t stop for the light, and he won’t stop for me if I step into his sacred way. What he WILL do is anyone’s guess, but he won’t stop.

Running a red light that’s been red for some time is purely a bike thing. I’ve seen a handful of cars do it in my entire life. I see bikes do it every day. There can be two lanes of a dozen cars each lined up waiting for the light to change, and along comes a bike rider and pedals on through, showing them all his ass, and cutting off any pedestrian who was about to use the green. Are we all supposed to applaud?

Only bike riders come to a full stop at a red light, wait for cross traffic to pass, then pick up their feet and run the rest of the red light. What excuse is there for that, other than a huge sense of entitlement?

Only bike riders pedal through a red light into a crosswalk full of pedestrians, and expect them to part like the Red Sea. Again, what excuse?

Only a bike rider will run a red light that’s about to change at a 4-way stop, then swing her bike 90 degrees, wait, and run the new red light.

Only bike riders run the red light going the wrong way on a one-way street. Hell, only bike riders travel the wrong way on a one-way street. They’ll even ride the wrong way IN THE BIKE LANE, which can’t be a lot of fun for a rider coming the legal way. Before I moved into the city I didn’t usually look both ways when crossing a one-way street. Now I dare not look both ways, and it’s because of bike riders.

Cars can be heard coming. By the time you hear a bike, it’s usually on top of you.

Did I mention cars stay the hell of the sidewalk? Bike riders will ride on the sidewalk even when there’s a bike lane AND no traffic in the street right next to them. It’s illegal in Pennsylvania to ride on the sidewalk, but they don’t care.

On foot, and at low speeds (which are the usual speeds in a dense urban area), cars are generally easier to avoid than bikes. One, cars can’t fall over sideways on you. Two, they can’t weave as nimbly, or wobble as drunkenly, as cyclists. It’s a real bitch trying to stay out of the way of someone whose way is changing from second to second.

Drivers have to get licenses, and so at one time in their lives had to show a nodding acquaintance with the traffic laws and the safe operation of their vehicle. But my neighborhood has three university campuses. Every new semester brings new students. And every damn one of them can legally hop on a bike they haven’t ridden since junior high and wobble off down the streets, jinking and lurching madly from side to side. Or hop on a bike they’re ridden quite a lot, and take off down the sidewalk as if it was their private slalom run and the people on it marker gates. Wheee!

They don’t know the laws, they have no idea they should follow the laws, and with no education requirements, and no licenses to revoke or license plates to trace, they can’t be made to care. Drivers can be made to care, so they act better.

“Better” is still pretty assholish, mind you. My neighborhood is full of jackass drivers. But it’s absolutely CRAMMED with jackass bike riders.

54

Why is this a problem? I do this both in my car and on my bike.

55

I had a fun thought about the bike bell a few years ago.

You know how it sounds. It reminds you of a little kid riding his tricycle in 1958. The sound it makes says, “Butterflies! Lollipops! Innocence!” When you hear someone ring the bell, there’s almost an implicit assumption that hey, the person ringing the bell is a really nice individual and s/he probably would loan you money if you were in a tight spot. The person making that sound (ringring! ringring!) is probably on his/her way to the orphanage to read books to blind kids or something.

It is impossible to make an angry sound with a bike bell. Go ahead. Try it. Can’t be done.

Which is why my epiphany so shocking: as innocent and charming as that sound is, the message behind it is actually, “HOLYFUCKINGSHIT! GETTHEFUCKOUTOFTHEWAY!”

56

Traffic light sensors that aren’t sensitive enough to detect bicycles, perhaps. If you know for sure the sensor is not detecting you, it should be treated as a malfunctioning traffic light.
By the way, I’ve taken to saying “passing” instead of “on your left.” That seems less confusing to pedestrians. Although I hardly ever ride on bike trails these days, and never on sidewalks.

57

I love cycling. I cycle to work, I ride roadbikes, I ride mtb’s, I even have my old BMX still for silliness. Sure, a man in his 30’s looks stupid popping wheelies, but I enjoy it.

I mention this only to avoid accusations of bias and cycle prejudice when I say that round here, the ratio of cyclists who break/ignore road laws is far higher than the ratio of car drivers. And that pisses me off, because it means all cyclists get tarred with the same brush.

And there are no excuses for it in the UK. Get the fuck off the pavement - if you have wheels under your arse you’re a vehicle, if you want to go on the pavement, dismount. If you want to ride at night, get some fucking lights on your bike. Even if you don’t intend to, get some lights on your bike - it’s dark here from 4pm to 10am just now. Yes I love my eggbeaters as well, but when you’re at the lights unclip for fucks sake, I don’t care if you’re trying to practice your track stand. Do not go through fucking red lights. The IR sensors round here pick up a cyclist just fine, and on the unlikely occasion that they’re broken, unlike cars you have the option of dismounting, pressing the cross button, and then walking across.

Sure, lots of car drivers are crap. Many pedestrians are stupid. But on a sheer per capita basis, I don’t see 2 out of 10 drivers trying to run red lights or driving at night without lights, or going along the pavement and that’d be my rough guess of the number of cyclists I see at it.

58

If the light will only change if a sensor is triggered, then the cyclist can just hit the button for pedestrians.

59

Mass Effect is an awesome videogame.

60

You mean the button on the pole on the sidewalk that everyone is pissed that a cyclist is riding on?