(Some) Cyclists, I am really getting sick of your shit

That will be the pole at the lights, usually right next to where you’re stopped. Let me try to run you through this:

1)Dismount.
2)Press button.
3)
a) If lights change so you have right of way, get on bike and continue, else
b) If lights go to red so pedestrians may cross, walk bike across crossing, get on bike and continue

Actually, you must mean. . .

Dismount,
cross the lane of traffic that is for cars turning right,
take my bike up onto the sidewalk,
push button,
cross back across the lane that is for traffic turning right,
get back into my legal travel lane and wait for the light to change.

Is that what you mean?

See, now that is my problem with the whole yelling “on your left”. Many bikers decide to wait until they are 2.5 millimeters behind you, going full speed, to announce their presence. Look guys, I am old and not the brightest bulb on the tree, you simply have to give me more time!
Typically when I am out walking my feet may be moving forward, but my brain is rarely anywhere remotely close to where my physical body is. As soon as someone yells “on your left” my id kicks in first, screaming “Loud noise, we’re under attack!!! AIEEEEEEE!!”. This requires the entire body to gear up for the fight. My ego then takes over and says, “wait, that wasn’t really random attack noises, those were words, oh yeah, I believe it was a biker behind us.” At this point the body cancels the full on red alert and regains some ability to think and reason. It is then that the super ego kicks in and says, “Quite right, the considerate gentleman on the bike behind us has announced that he is on our left which means we need to accomodate him by moving to the opposite direction of which he stated. That, of course, being to the right.” Finally, I move to the right. However, since it takes me as long to process what was said to me as it took you to read this, I have already been knocked ass over tea kettle by the bike and I am lying on the ground listening to my id saying, “See, I told you all we were under attack, Hmmph!”
To make a short story very long, bikers, I implore you to slow down just a little and give walkers a decent bit more time.

I see that this has turned into the standard ‘bash bikes - they cause all the problems - I want to kill all of them’ thread. Figures.

If I am turning left, how the FUCK am I supposed press a button on the sidewalk?

Or maybe you could take the iPod buds out of your ears and you might hear the first warning.

  1. Stop forward motion.
  2. Dismount.
  3. Walk your bike to the corner.
  4. Press the button.

Again, the assumption that bicyclists expect never to have to slow down or stop. If the person in front of you doesn’t seem to be responding to your warning, slow down or stop. That’s how traffic works in the world. Bicyclists are not exempted.

Across two lanes of traffic. What a prize you are. Wanna put that in a file marked ‘Shit that’ll get me killed’?

BTW, the pedestrian button has nothing to do with the left turn light. Did you think this through?

Again, the assumption that I am not slowing down or stopping. I slow down or stop, but quit whining about the warnings when 99% who think the cyclist gives no warning or only last minute warnings either is wearing ear buds or, very often, ignored the earlier warnings.

At 20 mph, a cyclist is moving at 29 ft/sec. A 2 second warning has the cyclist 58 ft behind the walker. The walker might not hear the warning or thinks the warning is for someone else.

However you should be careful about the other 1%, who might be deaf and hence unable to hear your warnings.

Add add me to the terminally confused who has to think longer than a microsecond about what “On your left!” means. But I’m also someone who has happily driven behind a cyclist on a main road at the cyclist’s pace until it was safe to pass him.

Must be hitting close to home.

As someone who cycles to work every day, at least when there’s no snow (yes, I value my ass enough to not ride to work in Pennsylvania winters), I think Trunk and Mr. Miskatonic are whiners. After all, you’ve forgotten the other option to pushing the button–wait for the damn light to change. If there’s enough traffic that it’s a hazard to go to the pedestrian button, then there’s no problem with the sensors and you’ll get a green eventually.

For fuck’s sake, how hard is it to just obey the goddamn traffic laws? I’ve been able to do it since I was six years old, tooling my little Huffy BMX around the neighborhood–stopping at every stop sign, and signaling every turn.

Hell, I don’t understand why cyclists don’t obey the laws out of spite, either. I mean, you’re riding three pipes and a few wheels and gears on the same road with multiton powered chunks of steel and glass. Me personally, I value my component pieces remaining attached and fully functional, so I tend to play it as safely as possible, and that includes doing exactly what cars and pedestrians have a legal right to expect me to do.

Yeah, drivers wanting to kill me does hit close to home. Very observant of you.

It seems to me that if the problem is that the light is red, then your chances of getting killed are diminished. Unless you expect car drivers to ignore the red light too.

That means that there is a green light to go forward. You can go straight through the intersection legally and then work your way back legally.

They’re complaining when they haven’t heard the warning and the bicyclist still barrels through. If you slow down or stop, why would they complain?

Perhaps you missed the part about the light being sensor tripped.

I happily obey the traffic laws. But there are points where the system was set up exclusively for the whims of drivers and obeying the law will either have me sitting and shivering waiting for a light that will never change or get me killed.

Uh no, left turn light being red <> the other lights being red.

Wait…what?

You’re kidding right?

Just out of curiosity … where is this light that never changes? And, more to the point … why would you take a route that puts you at this light? I can’t imagine that’s a good route for cars or bikes.

I commute 18 miles a day on a bike. Anyone that cycles on the pavement (sidewalk for Americans), for whatever reason, is an asshat. Get on the road where you belong. (And stop at the fucking red lights, too.)

Read for comprehension:

Simple binary here:

  1. No cars at intersection, therefore red light will be forever unless button is pushed, THEREFORE, no cars means it’s safe to go over and push the damn button.

  2. Cars at intersection, therefore it’s unsafe to go push the damn button, THEREFORE, the sensor will be tripped by the fact that there are cars there, dumbass, so wait a minute or two.

  3. In the rare case there’s no button on a sensor-operated light, which I’ve personally never seen, then dismount and cross legally like a pedestrian would in the crosswalk, and lobby your $government to upgrade the sensors to those ones you can lay bikes across to trip 'em when they redo the intersection next. (those are totally sweet, btw, and just starting to show up in my town)

“I’m too lazy to cross the road legally or go over and push the goddamn pedestrian button” is not an option here, unless you’re a jackass. I feel sorry for the law-abiding driver who you happen to not see who has to scrape you out from under his bumper.