Some help with a snippet of obscene street Spanglish

In My Humble Opinion
1

I have this:

My editor writes:

It doesn’t have to be perfect grammar (might even be best if it isn’t) but it should sound and read like something a homophobic Hispanic dude would say, and a little less like a monolingual Anglo’s fuzzy memory of what he said.

2

Well, I agree with the editor. I can’t tell what’s what. Is “eh se” supposed to be ese? Is the “to” English? Should “chingate hey” have a comma? Maybe italicize the Spanish words for easier parsing.

3

I guess it may not have been obvious from my OP, but I don’t know Spanish! I have a decent memory for the syllables I heard but it’s an approximation;

“eh se” might be “ese”, I don’t know… I heard people start off sentences with it pretty often. Where I wrote “to” (6th word) the sound was closer to “toe” than the English preposition “to”. Might have been “do” or maybe a contraction of some sort?

4

I can help with at least the first part of this, but the last part is hard to figure out.

Besa la verga, joto. = Kiss the (meaning “my”) dick, faggot.

To is probably Tu, meaning your.

Tu concha en mi verga, joto. = Your pussy on my dick, faggot.

Chingate. = Fuck you. (Can also mean Go fuck yourself.)

Uso = Use, I use, I will use.

Cuyo = whose

Conchato is not a word so far as I can tell … maybe he said Conchita, which can mean My little cunt? So, Uso cuyo conchato = I use your little cunt?

5

:slight_smile: I should have thought to ask you directly! Thanks!