Bonk’s favorite movie is ‘frek’. He’s two, and for all of you who don’t speak two-year-old, he’s talking about Shrek. It’s all he wants to see for the past week.
He wakes up, turns over, sticks his finger where fingers are not supposed to be stuck (especially when they’re not stuck in your own nose or mouth or eye) and says:
“I wan Frek”
All the way down the stairs:
To the livingroom in singsong:
“FREK, frek, FREK, frek, FR E E E EK!!!”
While my bleary eyes attempt to push the right buttons to get this thing going:
“Mama! Frek? wan frek!”
The Pina Colada song is now my permanent sound track. It used to be different for all times of the day: walking up the stairs to the surface in a crowd, ‘moo,Moo,MOO,moo’; passing some construction site 'Bob, the builder…"; crushed into the train on the way home, ‘we all live in a yellow submarine’. But no —now it’s all “if you like pina colada” all day all the time— on the train, in the rest room, at the lunch table, on the phone.
I get my coffee in the morning and ask for three sugars, but put two fingers up and say “Two, m’lord”
It’s affecting my ability to work. I keep bursting out in fits of laughter. I button my coat in the afternoon and pipe up “not my buttons, not my gumdrop buttons!” When someone mentions how cold it is I say in a really terrible accent “Layerrrrrs! You have to dress in layers to stay warm!” I go in to Photoshop to adjust stuff, and I’m blurting out “Layerrrrrrs! Like an ooonion” They had birthday cake for this month’s birthdays, it was a layer cake. What do I say? “Onions have layers.”
Somebody help. Please?