Somebody missing a few marbles

If it was raining soup, he’d run outside with a fork.

Couldn’t find his ass in a phone booth if the door was closed and the light was on.

Wait, a phone WHAT?

Dan

His train of thought left him at the station.

So stupid, he could fuck up an anvil.

That, I say, that boy’s about as sharp as a bowlin’ ball.

Smarter than the average horse, which is what makes him a stable genius.

Why, yes. Yes, he is.

Slight hijack: I was in a Vegas casino with a friend and got distracted in mid-conversation when one of the hostesses walked by. I told my friend that my train of thought had gotten derailed by a passing caboose.

Not the sharpest horn on the helmet
Courtesy of Colbert tonight.

If you gave her a steel ball to play with she’d break it.

If his shirttail was on fire he’d run instead of taking the shirt off.