MPSIMS would be the board for it?
I wouldn’t care at all.
I think there have been some “Ask the Transsexual” type threads in the past, but they’ve all been by MTF’s. I’d be interested in hearing the perspective of someone who is FTM, as I think that’s less commonly discussed.
I know several transgender people - all female to male.
I certainly ‘care’ because it’s not an easy road for someone to travel. It would never make me think less or badly of a person.
That’s an interesting question and one I hope that those who have known people who made the transition a while ago will answer. One thing that’s funny (not ha-ha funny, but interesting) for me is that my kids are young enough to have no memories of this family member pre-transition. Other kids in the family do have those memories of when XX was XY and I wonder how that is for them. For whatever it’s worth (anecdote), the couple remained married and now their boys refer to “my first mom” and “my second mom”.
My in-laws were amazing in their acceptance of this change. They said, “You are our child, we love you.” They even announced it in their Christmas letter.
Their oldest daughter had died that year as well as grandma. So first they talked about losing Daughter and Grandma and some nice things about them. Next paragraph, “we also lost a son and gained a daughter when ** told us that she has *** Syndrome. We hope that you accept this as we have.”
I thought that was really neat because, although they didn’t go around telling everyone about it, they did acknowledge the change and put it out there.
At support group before the major surgery trip, eight of us attended. No one else had more than two supporters. Some told stories about “my mother won’t speak to me.”
I’d definitely care. If it was someone I was close to, I’d want to do everything I can to support him or her in transition. If it was an acquaintance, I’d feel good learning more about her, and I’d be rooting for her on the inside.
Wouldn’t care at all in the moral sense, but might be a bit sad at the idea of losing a part of a person I was friends with (there has to be some degree of personality change along with the gender change, no?)
I’m frankly amazed at how many people in this thread have known transsexuals - or even multiple transsexuals. I’d been under the impression that it was such a minuscule percentage of the population that very few people would know one, let alone several!
For anyone interested, one of my favorite authors, Jan Morris, is transsexual and wrote a great book about her experiences: Conundrum.
My experience is that TS folk are much more common than you’d think. I’ve met more than a few, going both ways.
This struck me as hard to believe as well, but I suspect that a lot of people are counting online acquaintances.
I wouldn’t really care.
Well, that depends on the person. If you didn’t see it coming, then there’s probably going to be some - maybe a lot - of change. If they were obviously gender non-conforming before, you might not see as much. In either case, much will remain the same, and the person is going to be much more relaxed, open, and genuine after transition.
Not necessarily. Everybody’s different. There isn’t any predictable pattern. The hormones alone can cause some fairly radical emotional and personality changes. It can also be pretty devastating on SO’s. I think relationships that survive the change are very much the exception rather than the rule, especially if the SO had no idea.
I’m not counting online acquaintances, myself: I’ve known four transsexuals if you count a no-gender-roles-thanks intersexed individual and three M2F transgendered people. The first is a dear friend, though we haven’t seen each other much lately (nothing to do with gender and everything to do with moving away/living different lives). One M2F belonged to a fairly broad circle of friends, one was the roommate and former boyfriend of a friend, and the third was a member of a group of which I’m a part.
I knew Terry (not his real name, but as a happy happenstance the short version of his name is gender-neutral), my intersexed friend, when he had no idea he was born anything other than male. He’d always had trouble with his gender roles – he wasn’t a ‘sissy’, he wasn’t a ‘femme’, but he had what I would describe as a feminine personality. No, he wasn’t obsessed with clothes and jewelry and shopping, but he was nurturing, practical, and affectionate. When he discovered he had not been born with either male or female parts, well, it was quite the traumatic experience. He was a good friend and we grew closer in that time. Now he wears the occasional skirt and dangly earrings, sports a beard, and grows his hair long.
I knew Eileen (not her real name, either) when he identified as a gay boy and then ‘came out’ to the LBGSA as a transsexual. She had started on hormone therapy and was living as a woman when we drifted apart as friends. It was when I saw her with her new hairstyle and clothing that I realized what she had: she was always a girl inside and these changes had helped her come to terms with that. She made a prettier girl than most and took very strict care of her appearance with attractively-styled hair, well-crafted makeup, and tasteful, elegant clothing. As she’d been a somewhat diminutive and delicate-featured man, it’s hard for anyone who doesn’t know her to tell how she looked before.
The other two transsexuals I know have been women as long as I have known them, so I don’t really think they count. 
I’ve reacted to the news well each time, I’d think – at least, I’ve reacted with support and friendship. I haven’t treated people differently, though perhaps I am now more careful with jokes.
I’m not sure if that first part was addressed to me… My point was that if someone is that much closer to living as herself, you’re not likely to see as much change as when someone who’s tremendously repressed decides to transition. Hormones are a wild card in the short term, but the net psychological change (after the emotional turmoil) owes just as much to self-acceptance and personal growth as it does to the meds.
As for relationships… the number I’ve heard for relationships surviving transition is like 5%. It’s not good at all.
Speaking as someone who’s been the SO. . .a lot of it depends on the person, and what regimen (or lack thereof) they’re on. My ex-husband took HRT pills without a prescription, and was pretty bad at both remembering to take it each day and remembering to order refills before he ran out. This meant what amounted to self-induced PMS, which was definitely a personality change (and, I’ll admit, it was one I was less than understanding about, being on medication at the time that required multiple, regular daily doses).
There was a fairly dramatic shift in interests, though I think that was more a result of gravitating towards friends who were more immediately accepting of the situation. There was a dramatic decline in sex drive–and that was already pretty fecking low, so that put a strain on things. There are also changes in scent and the texture of the skin; this can be very hard to deal with if you’re attuned to those things.
The whole situation can cause a lot of insecurity issues; in my case, these were compounded by the fact that I’ve never been a girly-girl, or very pretty. This made me worry that I wasn’t living up to a set of standards that I’d never really subscribed to. I had serious doubts about my own gender identity for a while (this was compounded by the fact that I was on three different medications that ended up being ultimately unnecessary).
In the end, the whole thing wasn’t the biggest reason behind the decision to split, but I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t a pretty big factor. I tried to keep this from him during the divorce proceedings, because I figured that it would give him a passel of issues for no good reason (he also hadn’t come out to his parents yet). If there hadn’t been other incompatibilities, the marriage might’ve lasted. It still would’ve been damn hard, though–and this is coming from a bisexual woman who was a member of her college GLBT Alliance and who names GLBT rights as one of her top voting issues.
That being said, when I was still processing things, some mutual-at-the-time friend recommended Helen Boyd’s books. I thought they were helpful, and, at times, were really honest.
Anyway. Sorry for the hijack.
I’d care to the extent that I’d want to know what I could provide in the way of friendly support and being respectful.
I’ve been involved in the trans community for some time now, and do a fair bit of lobbying for trans rights as part of my political roles, so there’s that, too.
I am not. I know:
[ul]
[li]former roommate (FtM)[/li][li]former colleague (FtM)[/li][li]friend of a friend (MtF)[/li][li]husband’s cousin (MtF)[/li][/ul]
Then again, I live in a large, fairly liberal place and I used to work in Human Services, which I think of as a more liberal field as well.
Nope. I’m talking about people who I know personally.
[ul]
[li]Friend from highschool (MtF), we weren’t best buds but we would hang with the same group[/li][li]Friend in college (MtF), who was married but wanted to have an affair with me (which put me in the position of having to say it’s not because you’re trans but because you’re (hello?) married and also not my type – which sounded lame, but was the gods honest truth)[/li][li]Husband (now ex-husband) of a grad school friend (MtF)[/li][li]Woman on my kickball team (MtF), who shouts in her male voice when she gets too excited[/li][li]Guy I know through some volunteering (FtM), who has actually transitioned three times (F to M to F to M) and had (i.e. carried and gave birth to) a couple of kids along the way[/li][li]Guy (FtM) who is the partner of a woman that my partner used to be friends with, we would see them at various parties[/li][li]Various acquaintances from going to LGBT or queer seminars at musicology conferences (FtM, mostly)[/li][/ul]