something like envy, but without the hostility

[Machine_Elf]

For a long time I had thought that jealousy meant wanting what someone else had, AND wanting them not to have that thing; I also thought that envy meant wanting what someone else had, without wanting that other person to go without.

Now I’m straightened out:

@Wikipedia

Jealousy is the result or fear of losing someone or something that one is attached to or possesses to another person (the transfer of a lover’s affections in the typical form), while envy is the resentment caused by another person having something that one does not have, but desires for oneself.

So what is the name for the feeling you have when you want what someone else has (e.g. a nice house, or the ability to fly first class), but *without *wanting that other person to go without? No resentment, just a longing, e.g. “gee, I sure wish I could have/do that”?

[Quercus]

@Machine_Elf

For a long time I had thought that jealousy meant wanting what someone else had, AND wanting them not to have that thing; I also thought that envy meant wanting what someone else had, without wanting that other person to go without.

Now I’m straightened out:

So what is the name for the feeling you have when you want what someone else has (e.g. a nice house, or the ability to fly first class), but *without *wanting that other person to go without? No resentment, just a longing, e.g. “gee, I sure wish I could have/do that”?

How about just “desire”?
(or equivalent from your favorite thesaurus)

[Fallen]

I and others are of the view that there is benign envy and malignant envy, and the latter of which is where you’d not only want what the other person has but actively wish the other person ill or want them to be deprived of X). Maybe you can adjust the Wikipedia entry which, after all, is largely if not entirely one or more folks’ opinion(s).

[Idilia_Dubb]

Covetousness?

[robardin]

@Idilia_Dubb

Covetousness?

But, but that’s on the Thou Shalt Not list! Who’s the victim?! My soul??! Pfft!

[Xema]

I don’t think that envy has to include depriving the envied person of the thing you want, and I don’t believe the Wiki entry requires that interpretation.

[bob_2]

Desire, longing.

Most of Roget’s Synonyms are like spite or malice. ENVY Synonyms: 62 Synonyms & Antonyms for ENVY | Thesaurus.com

[pulykamell]

@Xema

I don’t think that envy has to include depriving the envied person of the thing you want

Yeah, my understanding of “envy” does not include necessarily include maliciousness, at least now how it is typically used in day-to-day language. The first sentence of the Wikipedia definition is pretty much how I know it: “Envy (from Latin invidia) is an emotion which “occurs when a person lacks another’s superior quality, achievement, or possession and either desires it or wishes that the other lacked it”.[1]” Note the “either desires it or wishes that the lacked it” part.

[jnglmassiv]

Admire? Admiration?
“I’ve always admired your lush lawn.”
“Al admires Jake’s effortless ability to approach beautiful women.”
“Jake admires Al’s Corvette convertible.”

[Flywheel]

Dog out of a manger.

[chacoguy]

Jealousy vs. Envy

[LSLGuy]

@Machine_Elf

… So what is the name for the feeling you have when you want what someone else has (e.g. a nice house, or the ability to fly first class), but *without *wanting that other person to go without? No resentment, just a longing, e.g. “gee, I sure wish I could have/do that”?

AFAIK, “envy” is exactly that. Nothing about “envy” implies that the other person should be deprived so you can have whatever it is.

Obviously if the desired thing is one-of-a-kind, such as wanting a particular person for your SO, that implies the other person would have to give it up. But that can be morally or emotionally neutral to you.

I don’t know of any single word which means “I want to deprive person X of his/her whatever and have it for myself. His/her loss is some/most/all of the satisfaction I’ll get from having it instead.”

[BigT]

@LSLGuy

AFAIK, “envy” is exactly that. Nothing about “envy” implies that the other person should be deprived so you can have whatever it is.

Obviously if the desired thing is one-of-a-kind, such as wanting a particular person for your SO, that implies the other person would have to give it up. But that can be morally or emotionally neutral to you.

I don’t know of any single word which means “I want to deprive person X of his/her whatever and have it for myself. His/her loss is some/most/all of the satisfaction I’ll get from having it instead.”

I actually would use covetousness for the concept. Sure, it’s not in the dictionary definition, but I’ve always heard it used for wanting that specific thing. And I was taught in Sunday School that it was essentially wanting something so bad that you would seriously consider stealing it.