Fuck! You beat me to it! Asshole! :dubious:
Shortly after seeing The Truman Show, my friend turned to me and asked, “If the whole world around me was a sham and you knew about it, you’d tell me, right?”
“I’d be paid not to,” was not the answer he was looking for. 
Funnily enough, my friend yesterday claimed that there was a “Charlie Tax” in pubs, on the grounds that the exact same round always costs him more than everybody else.
Funnily enough, my friend yesterday claimed that there was a “Charlie Tax” in pubs, on the grounds that the exact same round always costs him more than everybody else.
pan
“I play town’s person #1’s!”
There is: it’s the bribe you have to pay the bouncers when they catch you snorting a line in the toilets.
Badoom-tish
Shouldn’t that be the MBAG? And you probably are getting paid; it’s just the MBAG doesn’t have nearly as nice a pay scale as the SAG.
Pay clerk to dnooman: Mmmm, bit part in “The Lobsang Show”? Here’s your pocket lint. Have a nice day!
Wrong, Everyone is simply fictional characters made up by my feverish imagination as I sit battered and bruised, slowly dying of internal injuries. Now, as I submit this, I will wake up to that reality and pass to the great beyond. Or not. 
Is there an operatic crustacean in this show? Because if there isn’t, there should be.
I just want y’all to know I am not fooled. I know all about The Dung Beetle Show! I see you!
(Here’s the bit where people really start to :dubious: at me)
I am one of those people who talks to himself (a lot). Appropriately it is a kind of commentary to events in my life. A bit like a director’s commentary on a DVD.
One thing I’d love to be more than almost everything else is a character actor*
[sub]*Assuming a character actor is what I think it is[/sub]
If I e-mailed a mod to get my title changed would anyone forget who I am?
So, that’s why I didn’t get paid! For the record, craft services just didn’t cut the mustard this time (or even provide any with the hot dogs). I’m calling my union rep.
Sometimes, except in the opposite way from you, in that I’m fairly lucky. Too lucky, really. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop. For example: Weekend before last I take my car to the mechanic for an oil change. I’m driving my wife’s car and I’m not used to it and I breeze straight through a red light. I missed getting T-boned by this much. No harm, no foul, right? Well, my car was stolen from the mechanic’s lot that night.
So I find out on Monday that my car was stolen. I call my insurance company and find out that, for whatever reason, I forgot to drop the comprehensive policy on my 10-year old car. So I will get a full pay-out against the policy and can go buy a new car.
But I have to wait two weeks to make sure the car doesn’t show up.
Of course, they found the car last Friday. But the car has some damage. So maybe the insurance company will total it out anyway. So I go to the impound lot, but they won’t give me the car until I get a release from the police. So I go to the police, but they won’t give me the release without proof that I own the car. Now, I’ve lost the title and bill of sale during a recent move, so I go back to the impound lot to get the registration from the glove box. Except the !@#% thieves stole that. So I go over to the DMV to ask for help. Except the !@#% DMV is closed on Mondays. So I go over to the county tag office to ask for help. They are very helpful, except that my tags have expired and they cannot give me a duplicate registration when the tags are out of date. I carefully explain that I sent the money in two weeks ago and they carefully explain that they cannot do anything until the record is updated. So I pay cash just to move things along. Except they cannot give me a duplicate registration because my insurance information is not up to date. I show the nice lady my insurance card. Not good enough; they have to have confirmation from the insurance company directly. So I get out of line and call the insurance company and have them fax over a “binder” – don’t ask me what that means – and everything is hunky-dory. So I get my registration and go back to the police and get my release and go back to the impound lot and get my car, which is really and truly totaled. Stripped.
Where’s the lucky part, you ask? Well, aside from the car being totaled, which means that I will get full blue-book out of it, the stupid !@#$% thieves overlooked my favorite knife, which had fallen under the seat.
And my darling soon-to-be-ex-wife now wants a piece of the insurance money …
If I was a screenwriter, no one would believe this stuff …