There are times when I look at the few physical things in my possession that I actually value. Some jewelry. Some clothes. My CDs and books. My antique wrought-iron bed. And I feel this almost painful resentment that they’re mine at all, that I feel a need to keep them and that I value them. It’s like they rob me of a sense of freedom, of my mobility. I have to lug them with me when I move, find a place to keep them. I don’t like feeling tied down.
I tell myself they’re not important really, just material things. They don’t mean nearly so much to me as my friends and my health do. Sometimes I think about getting rid of most all of it, so I can feel more free. I don’t like being shackled to stuff. But then I read my books or change clothes or pop in a CD, and I know I can’t give them up. And I’m kind of resentful of that.
Some dude felt the same way you do. He sold all his stuff. EVERYTHING. On e-bay, I think. Even silly stuff like a $2 turkey baster and stuff. He wanted to free himself and simplify his life.
I think of this periodically when I start pondering that we have become so materialistic as a society, but then I also think there’s nothing wrong with having a stereo. I’ve had it for 15 years. My appliances are all the basic model. We do very little in the way of extravagant living. And I don’t plan on moving for a while, so I got that going for me.
I read that cell phone tones are a multi-billion dollar industry. Now THAT seems to be the height of extravagance.
Anyhoo, I know where you’re coming from. There are books written on this subject. You may want to take a look at one and see if any of it would work in your life.
You can find books in libraries everywhere. They’re not your books, but the words and ideas aren’t any different.
CDs are pretty small and portable, unless you have thousands of them. Even if you do have thousands, you might not be really attached to more than 100. They’ll travel with you.
Clothes can be folded pretty easily.
I don’t know what to tell you about the bed, though. Do you have a family member who could use it? A friend? I always found it was easier to give stuff away, especially stuff I was attached to, if I knew where it was going.
It’s not always easy to give things up, but it’s a great feeling once you’re done. I’ve done it twice, and I’ll do it again as soon as I can swing it financially.
Hmm, I sort of agree with you, but probably not to the extent you seem to go. I like having nice clothes (not high dollar, just not torn up or dirty), a soft bed, a computer with internet connection, a bug free, dry home and a way to move around. I resent the idea that occasionally pops into my head about having a big luxurious home or the big screen TV or the fastest computer or what not. I definately hate having to have a car (not just because of gas prices either), and would love to live in a city that had mass transit available.
Like you, I don’t view my material possesions as anything extremely important. I am moving to a dorm type living enviroment in a few months, it is fully furnished, so instead of storing my stuff for 3 or more years, I am selling it, trashing it, or giving it away. Depending on what it is, anyhow.
I resented my toaster until I wanted a piece of toast. And that damn bread, why did I have to buy that?
I finally narrowed it down to an ashtray, a paddle game, a remote control, some matches, a magazine, a lamp, a thermos and a chair. But all I have now is this thermos.
This is really hard to explain for some reason. A bit of freedom is good because you have the ability to do things you wouldn’t be able to do if you were tied down. However, freedom is excess is without controls of any sort, as control suggests restriction, the opposite of freedom. Without control there is only chaos. Therefore, too much freedom is a bad thing. YMMV
Last year a big hurricane was bearing down on me, so I had the fun task of packing up some absolute essential things to stick in the car and run away with. I ended up with a couple of suitcases of clothes, and my computer, and a box or two of other stuff. I then hit the road, not knowing if anything I left behind was going to be there when I got back.
It was – damn storm missed New Orleans completely, not that that is a bad thing, but apparently the house never even lost power and I made the Drive From Hell for nothing – but having already said goodbye to it, when I was getting ready to move a couple of months ago, it was amazingly easy to cut my stuff way down.
Between my SO and I we still had a fair bit of stuff, but nothing like I had before I started to sort. I’d already said goodbye to it once, after all.
I know how you feel, Mississippienne. I feel so claustrophobic when I have too many burdens, er, that is, possessions. It’s a cherished dream of mine to pare down to where I own just the bare necessities, but it’s not likely that’ll ever happen, especially since I have kids.
At least there are no knick-knacks in my house. Those things drive me insane. I have my sentimental crap down to about two boxfuls. Every once in a while, I go into those boxes and as time passes, I find I can throw more of it out.
I also have a permanent going-to-Goodwill pile, so I ditch a bunch of stuff at least once a month.
I have a huge problem getting rid of things, especially books. It always seems like just after I’ve gotten rid of something, I suddenly need. Plus, I have this entirely irrational belief that if I just got off my butt and started listing things on eBay, I could make tons. Consequently, my apt is horribly cluttered and I can’t find anything.
So I daydream that one day my apt will catch fire while I’m at work and all my things will have been gone and I feel an overwhelming sense of relief. But then I remember my big fat kitty. Maybe my apartment will just sustain major water damage one day…
I read a description once of early setllers in this country who liked being able to have the freedom to put out the fire, call the dog, and move on. That image has stayed with me.
But my life has been one of clutter and possessions. I was a compulsive shopper who grew up during a period of material competition. It was called “keeping up with the Joneses.” But my buying sprang more from compulsive needs.
I’m also very sentimental and have kept toys, letters, and momentos.
Now I am sixty-one and I feel very possessed by my possessions. My house is running over and I feel it has gotten out of control.
I would love to start over in a two room cabin with a few books, my favorite music, and a few special things. I think I could let go now, but my husband could not. Having someone to leave it to helps.
I wouldn’t trash it though. There are too many people who can use these things.
I wish I had it to do over again now that I don’t have the compulsiveness.
I disagree that too much freedom is chaos. That sounds like fear creeping in. Even in freedom, you have the right to choose order and simplicity and direction.
But what’s wrong with a little chaos now and then?
Things won’t make you happy, ever. I spent much of my 20’s and 30’s learning this lesson. Today, there is nothing I own that I have any emotional attachment to at all. I’m much happier as a result. The first step toward internalizing the lesson was to give away items that weren’t in any way necessities but were also things I had “coveted” far too much. Each item gone was a weight off my soul.
