Okay, but it has to be in the range between .0015 and .0020%; our computers only accept percentages if the number is preceded by a decimal and 2 zeroes.
Sorry, tdn does our programming.
Why did the small fried chicken salad cross the road?
To gain the ability to put in negative numbers.
Yes I do, and I don’t allow decimal points and percentage signs in my forms. Therefore I’m only heating up your little big chicken salad to 9-8 degrees.
I LOLed, literally. I’m sure my coworkers are wondering what the hell is so funny, and the idea of trying to explain it is making me giggle even more.
Just one more service I offer. 
I think all of her clones work in my office.
I’ve said this before, and while I am ashamed of it, I really mean, “Is it Ok to go ahead and click now?” Because I have had times where I’ve seen a link and assumed it was OK to click it and the IT guy was all “You didn’t click that yet, did you? I needed to do X first…”
Yeah, as a former software support guy, I’ve had a few calls like that.
“Do you see a folder called system32?”
“Hold on for a second. OK, I deleted everything in that folder. Now what?”
You deleted my fried chicken salad order!?
You owe me $24.95 for the order I didn’t get, plus an an hour of time you spent troubleshooting the issue, plus $1,000,000 for pain and suffering.
And you should count yourself lucky, dammit!
The worst is when people think they’re explaining something painfully simple to you, but it’s actually just their opinion. People with strong religious or political beliefs like to throw out the exasperated sigh while they’re explaining the VERY SIMPLE, obviously correct notion that the universe was designed by an intelligent being, or free market capitalism is the best monetary policy, which you’re just too dense to understand.
I’ll admit it. I’ve played the “why did you give them the ability to put in a range?” misunderstanding game with these people, but in my case it’s just to see how long I can drag on the conversation before they give up.
How about if I don’t charge you for the extra chicken that you didn’t have in your large small salad?
Well, okay then.
“That web interface you set up for the database is cool but it’s not letting the tech guys get to where they can edit the repair tickets. Please make it so that they can.”
“That’s because the web interface is not designed to be used by the tech guys. You had me set it up so that it does not require a logon, just goes straight in. Therefore it assumes the person using the system is an end user and they are restricted to end user privileges.”
“Well I don’t want the end users to have to log in, but I want our tech guys to be able to do what they need to do.”
“I can give you a different URL that the tech guys would use, which will go straight to the database and therefore require a logon, and the regular URL that’s on the corporate info page will still go to the passthru data file that has an auto-enter account & password as End User Guest.”
:: I do that ::
“The tech guys can’t get to where they can edit the repair tickets.”
“Show me what they are doing?”
(The tech guys are gong to the corporate info page and clicking the regular link.)
“The tech guys need to use this different URL to get in, and input account and password”
“I need the tech guys to be able to click the regular URL link, they say it is too much trouble to type in a different URL in the address bar when they are sitting at some end user’s computer trying to do repairs”
“Well I could put the tech URL link on the corporate page alongside the end user URL”
“No we don’t want that showing. Just make it so the regular URL link will let them get in to edit tickets”
“Oh, so you want the system to look through the screen and see whether or not it is a tech who is clicking the link, and if it is a tech ask them to log in with account and password so the system knows who they are, but if the system sees that it’s just an end user to not make them log in?”
:smack::smack::smack:
Many years ago, back in dark DOS days before Windows, since I was the only programmer on staff I was also, by default, “the computer guy” and also got to handle tech support for everyone in the organization, including a few branch offices out of town. I’d be on the phone with someone telling them exactly what to type on the command line, then there’d be a long pause, then I’d hear “Do I hit Enter now?”
My boss and I used to joke that I should say, “No, wait… (pause about five seconds) ok NOW hit Enter.”
Woah woah woah…hang on one second.
Pulls out calculator
Sound of tapping, interspersed with mumbles
OK, so, anti-double-negative chicken, plus the road tax, minus the horse - whoop, with the range, let’s not forget that, then there’s the small large salad with the large small salad dressing, reversed negatively and inverted, plus the cost of the stolen napkins, and the steak, not cooked to minus 9-8 degrees…
Looks up
Um, if I did this right, I think I now own this restaurant. Bring me my damned chicken, then you’re all fired.
You look stressed. Can I offer you small fried chicken salad?
Can I get that seasoned with Mrs. Dash?
Negative. But you can dash it as the Missus if she complains about the extra charge.
It’s just a regular salad, but with minature chickens in it.