I swear some version of that guy is at every wedding. He probably thought you were his buddy, the horny single guy wanting to scope out all the chicks and didn’t think about the fact that you were related to them. Or that you didn’t want to scope them at all.
This version is a little different since it’s a young guy creepily hitting on the older women. At most weddings I have been to, it’s a creepy older guy, usually someone’s uncle, hitting on the young women. At least he mixes it up a little.
Screw Grice’s cooperative principle… have you seen his Mom? Tits out to here, I’m tellin’ ya.
You handled things in a prudent, reasonable manner, Ex, despite a completely understandable and defensable inclination to act otherwise. Good man.
Hey, give Brad time. I’m sure he’ll develop into a fine specimen of creepy older guy.
(Steve Martin kinda hunched over pointing his fingers downward) FOXES! BIG BREASTED AMERICAN FOXES!! (/Steve Martin kinda hunched over pointing his fingers downward)
At that point, you should have asked Brad if his dad was hot. 
KIDDING! Great story and I love the title.
Oy, try being the plain, overweight daughter of a MILF. It’s no wonder I’m nuts.
Good for you, Excalibre! Nobody, but nobody can talk about your wimmenfolk that way! I say you fuck Brad up the next time you see him. It’ll be good for everyone! 
Never heard of him. Never mind that, just tell us something else that happened. Try not to use commas.
[QUOTE=eleanorigby]
Well done, Excalibre. Even if the women-folk don’t need your protection, it’s nice to know that it’s there.
Heck, I might have kicked his ass. He sounds like a drunk jerk, which is Jerk to avagadro’s number. QUOTE]
6.0221415 × 1023
6.0221415 × 10[sup]23[/sup]
You guy’s crack me up. Well done–the 10 to the 23rd power looks familiar. (what the hell did that number refer to, any way- The number of angels that can dance on the head of a pin?)
I like Guin’s retort–you should have said, “no, I don’t want to nail my aunt, but I could do you right now-let’s go!” and watch him run…
But what if his whole deal was an effort to convince people he wasn’t gay? He might have taken me up on the offer. Then I would have had to spend hours in the shower scrubbing my skin until it was raw to get the filth off of me.
Or you could have then double faked him out blind by saying, “I was kidding around man-you’re a FAG!?”
And then run away. I like your weddings more than the ones I [del]am dragged to[/del] attend. 
And thanks for head’s up re Avagadro–a nice Italian boy, I’m sure.
How on earth do you do superscripts around here?
Use the [ sup] / [/sup ] code, without the extra spaces. And subscript is [ sub] / [ /sub]. So you can put text [sup]up[/sup] or [sub]down[/sub].