Back when I was young and very unworldly, my best friend asked me to be the best man at his wedding. “Sure,” I said, thinking that all I had to do was stand next to him during the ceremony.
I have very little recollection of the actual wedding day, except that people were expecting me to do things (or have done things) that I knew nothing about. And a few people asked me about the bachelor party, which I also knew nothing about. And boy was I surprised when I was called upon to give a toast/speech; I didn’t know what the hell to say.
So there was no bachelor party, no speech (I think maybe someone else said something). I think there may have been ushers, but I had nothing to do with that. I don’t recall attending the wedding rehearsal either. And I have no idea how the groom got to and from the ceremony and reception, or whether anyone handed him the ring.
All in all, it was a very stress-free day for me, since I basically didn’t do anything.
The marriage lasted less than a year. I hope that wasn’t my fault.
So what did you do (or didn’t do), to convince the world that you’re a total idiot?