Maybe you’re talking to someone and making jokes about rabid raccoons and you realize their cousin was killed by a rabid raccoon last week.
You know what I mean. I’m being silly, but we’ve all been there. How do you deal with it? Apologies seem lacking and kind of trite. But ignoring it seems insensitive.
This is something I do once in a while because I can sometimes be absent-minded. How do you deal with it? And feel free to share your stories.
It depends on how well I know the person, but I think the key is to acknowledge and then immediately move on. Especially if it’s someone I don’t know well, I’ll say, “Sorry, that was inappropriate / unintentional. How’s your coffee?” or whatever. Something still on-topic but not related to rabid racoons.
Apologise, apologise twice if necessary, and move on. If they don’t see that it wasn’t intentional, that’s too bad.
I’d say something like Um…sorry. Then move on with the conversation.
Well, just the other night I made a random comment about how people named Nancy are hard to like (my friend was bitching about a woman named Nancy). My fiance looked at me and said “My mom’s name was Nancy” (she died when he was about 9 years old.) I basically just said “Oh gawd, I’m such an asshole” and moved on.
Yeah, it’s usually one of those laugh-then-apologize.
It depends on the company as well. If you’re the zany one of the bunch, you have more leeway. If you’re usually serious and bust out with a gaffe like that, well, then it’s a tad tougher.
Peg Bracken tells a story in one of her books about a woman who attends a dinner party. The conversation drifts to the topic of what constitutes bad taste. The woman says that bronzed baby shoes are in the worst possible taste. As she finishes her sentence, she looks up and there on her hosts’ mantel are a pair of bronzed baby shoes. She apologizes and clams up for the rest of the evening.
Fast forward six months, she’s at another dinner party and the conversation turns to the topic, “What was your most embarrassing moment?” When it’s her turn, she tells the bronzed baby shoe story against herself. And then she looks across the room only to see … yup, you guessed it.
OMG! I’m sorry but that made me laugh. 
I usually fart continually until the room empties. :eek:
Just did this a couple of days ago.
Was at a wedding reception and the DJ kept playing the same five horribly hackneyed songs over and over and over again while waiting for the bridal party to arrive.
Went outside to smoke a cigarette and mentioned to fellow smokers that “if that awful freakin’ DJ plays ‘Strangers In The Night’ ONE MORE TIME I swear I’m gonna choke him to death.”
Fellow smoker says, “That’s my dad.” And then proceeds to tell me all the many reasons why the bride really WANTED lots of Frank Sinatra, and the song hasn’t played more than once (a blatant lie) etc., etc…
I just kinda turned red and said, “Oh God, I guess you’re right, I’m sorry Bob, I must be horribly hungover and not paying attention! But isn’t the venue GORGEOUS?”
Oddly and yet appropriately, my other case of severe Foot In Mouth Disease was also over music.
I work at a neighborhood bar and there was this one CD on the jukebox that was strictly instrumental “new age jazz.”
Somebody played like three songs from that CD in a row and as I was making a drink I remarked idly to one of the customers that I felt like I was living inside the Weather Channel. And that I felt the overwhelming desire for my local forecast.
Turns out that CD is in the jukebox b/c several of our bar regulars are in the band.
Of course this guy was one of them.
:smack:
He was quite gracious about it, actually; he laughed and said not to worry, because he considered it a compliment. Weather Channel music is actually, apparently, an inspiration to some musicians.
That’s actually even more appalling than what I said, but nonetheless I was horribly embarrassed and should have learned then not to comment on music. Ever. Wherever I am.
I’m sorry, but I have to agree. What kind of tasteless bastard makes shoes out of bronzed babies?
Oh lord. This thread is painful & hilarious.
I agree that an apologetic acknowledgement and then quickly moving on is best. There will be plenty of time to replay the humiliation in your mind during sleepless nights for the rest of your life.
In college I worked in a Michaels Arts & Crafts store, a shop which has lots of ribbon and floral stuff as well as the sorts of things you might use to make favors for weddings, showers, and so on. Most of the time, Wedding People came in groups of moms, sisters, friends to get the makings of things like favors and table decorations. Typically there was a matriarch sort among a gaggle of bridesmaids and the bride. So when one lady who looked to be in her mid to late 40s came through my line with a bunch of tulle and bitty silver and white and pastel flowery stuff in her basket, I made conversation by saying “Oh! Are you the mother of the bride?”
She looked at me and said, probably not in as flat a tone as I remember, “I am the bride.”
I feel like an asshole to this day, and no longer make conversations with anybody ever about anything.
Generally, I overlook it as though nothing has happened. Unless, of course, someone calls me on it.
In both cases, I usually internally berate myself over it for several days.
I usually say something like I’m narrating a story trying to make a joke out of it like " An awkward silence flows through the household" or something along those lines.
At my cousin’s wedding, he and his bride came to my table to say hello, and she brightly announced “Oh! It’s so nice to finally meet your dad!” as she shook hands with my boyfriend. Poor kid felt awful, no matter how many times we laughed and said it was okay.
I suffer terminal foot in mouth disease. I usually just apologize in proportion to the gaffe and move on.
This is what I do, too- something like “And with that, the conversation died”, or “Now you can see why I don’t have my own late-night talk show”- and everyone’s forgotten the faux pas and it’s back the conversation. 
“More tea, Vicar?”
I was trying to get a friend to sign a petition. When she seemed hesitant, I said without thinking “It’s just a petition. It’s not like we’re asking for your first born.” THEN I remember that her first born was the victim of a murder/suicide by his father.
There was a dead silence, and then she just walked away without saying anything.
Foot-in-mouth disease, yes, that’s it. Annie X-mas’ story almost hurt but yeah, I laughed at Ghanima’s too.
I have a bad tendency to do this. I mean, I speak very naturally, I do think before talking but my thinking is mainly relegated to what not to say about myself. I often forget about other things.
Thanks all…any more stories?
I have twice congratulated women on their pregnancies who…you guessed it…weren’t pregnant.
I dealt with it through awkward silence and stammered apologies.