Son-of-a-wrek and the bad, bad, bad Saturday shopping trip

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Son-of-a-wrek comes to me early.
He’s having a difficult Christmas shopping experience.

He’s not been real successful ever buying for the DIL.

I believe she really thinks it’s kinda funny watching him squirm leading up to all gift giving occasions.

But, this year it’s a bit harder. DIL is expecting twins. She’s gotten very large very quickly.
So no clothing items. No romantic gifts, like perfume, jewelry or lingerie. She might kill him outright, about that.

So we have been listening and planning. It’s decided. He wanted to buy her a new bed.

Problem is he can’t decide how to go about it all. He shopped and found 2 he thought might do.
We go to Texarkana to check them out.

Thank god we went. The 2 he chose were awful.

I sat him straight. The bed is purchased.
It’s a king size bed, at my urging. Soon to be 4 kids in their house. One stormy night and 4 kids will be in the bed with them. Go with a king size, I say.

I told him he better get her some king sz bedding. He agrees.

We go in a huge sporting goods store. I have something to look at. We separate at the door.
I go to check out. He’s already waiting by the exit. He had a huge bag in his hands.
We got to his truck and I ventured a peep in his bag.

Oh god,
A huge Camo colored comforter. And a different Camo-patterned king sz sheet set.

I ain’t got the strength to tell him the error of his ways.

He’s just gonna have to learn his lesson the hard way.

That boy ain’t right.

He has camo PJs. I guess he could hide from her.:face_with_hand_over_mouth:

2

That’s…different. It’s like making your bed into a duck blind. :smiley:

3

He left the bedding in my closet for us to wrap for him. Every woman on the place looks at it and just shakes their head.

4

I believe that @ThelmaLou has a camo quilt or bedspread or something, and has stated that how a potential romantic partner reacts to it will determine their future. I guess it’s something about camo and the southern US that I don’t quite get. Up here in the Great White North all my bedding is pure white, which I guess in a sense is a kind of camouflage. :wink:

5

I live in the south and don’t get it.

You know, almost all patterned and colorful clothing offered a camo one or two in the choices.

Mr. Wrekker once bought a camo recliner. It’s in the barn. I should put it in the ghost room. That’s where all the taxidermy is hung. But, then again no one in their right mind would recline or take a nap in there.

6

The only thing that could make it better is if the sheets were satin. Watch him jump into to bed and slide out the other side!

7

Hey, you’re getting twin grandbabies!! Congrats! When is the stork’s ETA?

What the heck possessed him to think his dearly beloved would want camo bedding? Or is he one of those guys who gets panicky when shopping, grabs the first thing in the bedding section, and hightails it through the checkout?

Just for that, she should buy him pink frilly underwear.

8

Oh, I thought I told it was twins.
First week of May is the expected due day. (Identical boys)
Her girls were both a bit early. So no telling really.

We’re giddy with excitement.

9

Your post prompted me to inform DH that I do not want camo sheets. I prefer solid colors, TYVM.

10

When I read this part, I knew where this story was going. “He’ll buy camo sheets”, I said to myself.

11

Seasonal, of course. :snowflake::snowflake::snowflake::cold_face::snowflake::snowflake::snowflake:

12

Seasonal, of course, but in the winter, just try to find me in my bed amongst all the snow and polar bears!
:smiley:

13

Yeah. He’s very un-woke.

I blame his upbringing.
:grin:

14

OMG the knit satin is HORRIBLE!!!

I had a BF with a waterbed - not the single bladder type, it was the waveless with the fiber stuff inside, so it wasn’t as horrible as it could be, but he went with the black [knit] satin sheets. Horrible, it was like walking onto the set of a porn, and it engendered sweating in me, it somehow holds in the heat and doesn’t breathe.

And I won’t cast stones about the camo comforter, I use a woobie as a blanket on my bed in my spare house [I have 2, one is a nonrental I have inherited and have yet to flip so a couple friends of mine live there and I keep a bedroom for when mrAru and I are there for one reason or another.] It was issue for mrAru, and it is oddly one of the most comfortable covers we own, it seems to be really toasty warm in the winter and not too heavy for spring/fall. [And until it had been washed for about the 10th time, still smelled like ‘sub funk’ which is admittedly an odd sort of comfort smell, but it always reminded me of mrAru coming home from deployment.]

15

Oh @aruvqan , I have a woobie.

I imagine Son-of-a-wrek has some or had some.

That is a good alibi on Christmas morning, he can try.
He can pull that up as a sympathy card. For all his horrid deployments.
.
.
.
Nah, he’s in trouble.:face_with_hand_over_mouth:

16

When everyone else is tearing him a new one, pull him aside and tell him Auntie VOW says he done good.

Pregnancy hormones will probably ignite when the DIL sees the new bedding. Beck, have the gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond at the ready.

The sheets can be used on the bed, no problem. With four kids, clean sheets of any flavor are gratefully accepted.

If DIL feels a camo comforter on the bed is a bit much, well, she can put it on the floor and the entire house can play with the new babies!

Son-of-Wrek’s heart is in the right place, bless him.

Four little ones in the house? Busy, busy, busy. And a whole lot of love!

~VOW

17

@VOW , the voice of reason, as per usual.

Good idea for the gift card. I’ll do that.

18

I do have such an item. It’s a regulation Army poncho liner. I’ve stopped using it because, being nylon, it’s like sleeping under a plastic bag.

Don’t know where you got the rest of what you said. I see no romantic partners in my future.

19

Hey, I had a waterbed for years. We had a satin sheet set–NOT black, though! That sounds like it should have had a satin zebra duvet and a mirror on the ceiling (and pink champagne on ice). Never had a problem with it holding in the heat. Did the BF use a mattress pad?

Beck, I have what’s probably a silly question. (I provide the Dope in The Straight Dope.) How can docs tell the twins are identical? They can’t test DNA until after birth, right? Or can they tell via ultrasound?

ETA: I meant “dope” as in stupidity, not as in illegal drugs, just in case the FBI is on here fighting ignorance.

20

You probably know more than me. DIL said they told her that.

If I’m able I’m going to the next ultrasound. I’ll certainly ask that question.