Bruce Sprinsteen’s “Dancing in the Dark” is mostly about trying to find someone to have a one night stand with, but it does reference masturbation a couple of times:
I ain’t nothing but tired
Man I’m just tired and bored with myself
Hey there baby, I could use just a little help
and
I’m dying for some action
I’m sick of sitting 'round here trying to write this book
I need a love reaction
In “Similar Features” Melissa Etheridge compares having emotionless sex to masturbation:
Dancing with the wall made you bitter and sweet
There ain’t much you can do when they just lay it at your feet
But you could tell by the song I wanted to be the one
Did you listen again when the damage was done Now the paint’s still wet in your do-it-by-number dream
Are you gonna tell me how it felt, will you tell me what it means
I really think some of these are stretching it. A few lyrics you think are about masturbation seem to be about being alone and frustrated, which isn’t really the same thing.
Devo has a few: “Slap Your Mammy”, Praying Hands" and Penetration In The Centerfold".
Billy Thorpe (the “Children Of The Sun” guy) had a hit in the early 80s called “In My Room.” There’s “Vibrator” from Motorhead,“No Bone Movies” from Ozzy “Jack Shack” by Nasville Pussy and don’t forget about Cindy Lauper’s “She Bop”
Then there’s Weird Al’s “One More Minute,” which has the lines,
“I guess I might seem kinda bitter
You got me feelin’ down in the dumps
'Cause I’m stranded all alone in the Gas Station of Love
And I have to use the self-service pumps…”
Thought it sounds rather obvious, I seem to remember reading that Billie Joe said the song was about something else - and it was just because the line with the word “masturbation” stuck out at the end, everyone’s now misinterpreting it.
Ah but I was specifically responding to fighting ingorant’s inclusion of (Would You Be My Girl) Sally, which is also about a blow-up latex dolly. Or do we need a new catagory for Best Songs About Blow Up Latex Dollies? (In which case, I’m sorry but there is no better Ode to a Latex Dolly then the one I referenced.)
Beyond that though, is that really not masturbation? Sorry, Case, it’s still solitary sex however much you may have bonded with her .
Surely, the best blow-up doll song is Ms. Pinky by Frank Zappa.
"I got a girl with a little rubber head.
Gets her out every night just before I go to bed…
Throw a little switch in the battery pack,
You can boot it, you can shoot it 'til the wife gets back."
Well, perhaps, but the advice works equally well or better when with a partner.
(or two, or more…)
Now, “I’m too Sexy” by Right Said Fred, there’s some narcisicistic love song for you, guy’s too sexy for everything but himself, apparently.