Songs to kill a buzz

Oh, my gawd, and “Close to You,” by the Carpenters. I love the Carpenters, but this is one of the worst songs ever recorded. It is testament to how great Karen Carpenter’s voice was, that this drek became a hit.

Also, I happen to like the Andrews Sisters, and think they recorded some great songs, but they also recorded a number of novelty songs as well, and a long string of those could drive people crazy.

And, according to comic John Mulaney, people have a very low tolerance for repetitions of “What’s New Pussycat?” I believe him.

The Residents - Hell!. This music will ruin acid trips and clear whole houses. Most people find it very disturbing.

You could also give some random Jandek a try; most people find his music unlistenable.

How about these guys?

Anything by Dory Previn.

What about this?

Is the OP really going to do this?

If you want to go nuclear, you can try Gloomy Sunday, AKAthe Hungarian Suicide Song.

This is hilarious!

Many years ago, I dated a man who owned a record store, and if he had troublesome customers or closing time was approaching, he would play classical music. It never failed to surprise him who the people were who knew exactly what he was playing. I’ve also heard of places that had chronic problems with loitering, like convenience stores, using Muzak for the same reason.

Around that same time, Kerrang! magazine, a hard rock/heavy metal magazine, said of one classic tune, “If you put this on your stereo to seduce someone, you will not be having sex.”

The song was “Stairway to Heaven” - the Led Zeppelin version, of course.

Violin Phase by Steve Reich

Might be too low-key to be effective at getting their attention, but this song won’t leave many people feeling their oats.

Nor will this one.

This will do the trick:

(Threnody for the victims of Hiroshima)

MacArthur Park on repeat.

...MacArthur's Park is melting in the dark All the sweet, green icing flowing down Someone left the cake out in the rain I don't think that I can take it… They won't be able to take it either.


Broadway showtunes.


Miles Davis.

Reaction from the stoners: There’s cake? Munchies!!!

No, that’s a stoner song. Wouldn’t work.

Dude just play non-stop Primus, they are one of my favorite bands but most people can’t stand them and they sounds like a bad acid trip.

Ozzy: “Innit great, dad? I got messed up on whiskey and created this weird s***!”

Ozzy’s dad: “You sure it was just whiskey?”

How about any Slim Whitman song, especially this one:
Indian Love Call

Or any Tiny Tim songs.

Buzzkill Prescription:

Memories of the Alhambra

Francisco Tarrega

In the morning, you might not hate this. In the evening your enemies will. Two classical guitars.