The only reason I’m confessing this is the fact that I will most likely never meet any of you and be mocked in person.
Thanks to my mother, my aunt and my grandmother, I am able to sing virtually all of Shirley Temple’s repertoire. While I usually use this as a threat to annoy my husband, I also find myself humming them to myself against my will.
Years of punk & industrial music haven’t cleansed me. I am beyong help.
Thanks, Gulo - you now just put “On the Good Ship Lollipop” in my head. And we all know that the only song that removes annoying songs is “The Hokey Pokey.”
I really need you tonight
Forever’s gonna start tonight,
Forever’s gonna start tonight.
or
Her name was Lola
She was a showgirl
With yellow feathers in her hair and a dress cut down to there
She would merengue and do the cha-cha
or
*Far
We’ve been traveling far
Without a home
But not without a star
Free
Only want to be free
We huddle close
Hang on to a dream*
or
If you like pina coladas
Getting caught in the rain
If you’re not into yoga
If you have half a brain
My parents played AM radio all the time while we were on car trips…no, really…
Believe it or not, I also know that song quite well. I think my mom had a 45 of that (remember those?) and I knew it by heart. All it takes is for someone to mention “King of the Road” for “Queen of the House” to pop into my head.
I also remember the lyrics to a lot of TV show themes.
And for those that remember Weird Al songs, I’ll go you one better, I remember most of the lyrics to all the songs on Alan Sherman’s (Weird Al’s predecessor) “My Son the Nut”.
*The doctor was looking at the x-ray and I asked him “what do you see?”
He kept on looking at the x-ray as he said in French to me …
I see bones
I see gizzards and bones
and a few kidney stones
among the lovely bones.* to the tune of “C’est Si Bon”.
That one pops into my head everytime we do x-rays at work.
We didn’t have a lot of records but what we did have got a lot of wear by me. But that’s not really embarassing, even when I sing it out loud … well, okay sometimes it is.
Yes - it’s Jody Miller doing “Queen of the House.” I have a Scopitone of it and yep, that’s what she’s doing, but thankfully there are hot milkmen that come and visit.
And let’s not forget the perennial favorite,
Someone left the cake out in the rain
And I don’t think I can take it
Cuz it took too long to make it
And I’ll never have that recipe again… again… (bizarre scream)…
Or the one that never fails to take up residence in my head until I want to stick hot pokers in my eyes:
This is the song that never ends
It just goes on and on my friends
*Somebody started singing it not knowing what it was *
*And they’ll continue singing it forever just because *
(start over. and over. and over…)
Thanks. Thanks a lot. 
I found her diary beneath a tree,
And started reading about me.
The words she’d written took me by surprise…
Diary by Bread
Geez, where to start. I had appalling taste as a an early teen:
Well, you can tell by the way I use my walk,
I’m a woman’s man
no time to talk.
Music loud and women warm,
I’ve been kicked around since I was born.
Oh, Mandy, well you came and you gave without taking
And I sent you away
Oh Mandy
You ask me if I love you and I choke on my reply
I’d rather hurt you honestly than mislead you with a lie
And who am I to judge you
In what you say or do
You’ve been cold to me so long
I’m crying icicles instead of tears
And all I can do is keep on telling you
I want you
I need you
But there ain’t no way I’m every gonna love you
*Dies irae, dies illa
Solvet saeclum, in flavilla
Teste David cum Sybilla
Quantus tremor est futurus
Quando judex est venturus
Cuncta stricte discusurus*
We sang it one year in choir and I don’t believe I will every forget the words. The spelling, on the other hand, is only phonetic.
Oh, and Garth Brooks’ songs.
*I got friends in low places
Where the whiskey drowns and the beer chases
My blues away
I’ll be okay
Oh, I’m not talking ‘bout social graces
Think I’ll take a trip down to the ol’ oasis
Oh, I got friends, in loooow places*
Friends in Low Places. I loved it when I was 12. And now I need to go and find a copy of it so I can relive the MAGIC.
I believe it was 1981’s “Somewhere in England” album.
I thought I was the only one alive to admit to seeing My Mother the Car (featuring the voice of the lovely Ann Sothern). One of the worst series ever made.
How about
Miss Polly had a dolly who was sick, sick, sick
I’m on the top of the world
Looking down on creation
And the only explanation I can find
Is the love that I’ve found
Ever since you’ve been around
Your love’s putting me at the top of the world.
Various Barry Manilow tunes, already mentioned.
I was briefly a Kenny Rogers fan when I was little, so… :o
Well there’s someone for everyone
And Tommy’s love was Becky
In her arms he didn’t have to prove he was a man
One day while he was working
The Gatlin boys came calling
They took turns at Becky - there was three of them
or
You got to know when to hold ‘em
Know when to fold ‘em
Know when to walk away
Know when to run
You never count your money
When you’re sittin’ at the table
There’ll be time enough for countin’
When the dealin’s done
For some reason, I remember pretty well a lot of songs I heard when I was little (less than 10 years old). Now I’m lucky if I can remember title and artist. Either Half-heimer’s has truly set in, or there’s just too much other junk upstairs now for me to absorb lyrics.
I’m another victim of TV Theme songs – knowing both Bonanza and My Mother the Car (You may think my story is more fiction than is fact, but believe it or not my mother dear decided she’d come back as a carl; she’s my very own, guiding star. . .)
I’ll add to TV theme songs: Laverne and Shirley, All in the Family, Rawhide, Some show I can’t remember the title of, but I know the lyrics (Back in the days of Valentino, we know, a girl named ethel was so young and alive. But she got run down by a trolley, golly, said good-bye in nineteen twenty and two) and, of course, Gilligan’s Island.
In terms of Radio play, Run, Joey, Run by the 1910 Fruitgum company (Quick Joey Small went over the wall with a ball and a chain behind him, Quick Joey Small went over the wall sent the hounds right out to find him)
I know many of the songs by the Carpenters (Rainy Days and Mondays, We’ve Only Just Begun, and more, but it’s enough to know that I played a lot of their music in Junior High – alongside Alice Cooper, Beatles, Three Dog Night, America, James Taylor, Neil Young, and Elton John)
I can perform – upon request – nearly the entirety of the original Sceptre records release of the Pop-Cantata “Joseph and His Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat”
Yes, I have no insurance and yes, I do need help, but what are we gonna do?
One of my biggest fears is that one day, all the lovely Dopers will discover the drek that is on my mp3 list, and decide the most humane thing to do is to come to my home and bludgeon me to death with my computer keyboard.
In addition to many of the songs already mentioned, I also know all the lyrics to “One Tin Soldier”. As for “The Song That Never Ends”, I love it, because once I get to the 5th or 6th verse, my kids are huddled in the back seat, whimpering, and begging me to stop. A mom’s gotta find her fun somewhere! 
Hobbles! HOBBLES! Keep with the equine theme!
As for me, I can sing “I Think I Love You,” and still know most of “Muskrat Love.” You may all flee in terror now.
Due to the number of times I’ve teched these shows, I can sing (in their entirety, chorus AND principles) Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat (complete with Donny Osmond hand motions), Footloose, Into the Woods, and Fiddler on the Roof.
Sometimes I do sing them. When I’m home alone. Very, very alone.
My co-workers flipped when they found out I knew the words to “Baby Got Back.”
Of course, I also know the words to “Having My Baby” and “What’s New, Pussycat” but we won’t go there.
Hey, I can still sing the entire “Have Gun, Will Travel” theme song, and I remember Yancey Derringer “with iron in his fists” and Johnny Ringo “the fastest gun in all the west, the quickest ever known.”
Oh, and I remember “Three Stars Will Shine Tonight” (the Dr. Kildare theme song) and even used to have the 45 of Richard Chamberlain singing it.
… songs that made the hit parade, those were the days…