Sorry my son and I walked in on your public Porno-mag shoot.

The BBQ Pit
1

Hi. I’m talking to you. You, trying to hide both your nipples and your tacky bush behind that towel over there. Behind that birch tree. Yes, you.

Look, I’d talk to your 50+ year old fat photographer BF instead, but hey, that respect-for-you train left his station a while ago. Quite honestly, unless I was a threat to his Nikon, he doesn’t seem to give a good Og Damn who sees your bony ass. Look, maybe I wouldn’t have given a damn either…but you see this little guy to my left? The one asking “What are they doing, Daddy?” He’s my 10 year old son. And you’re in a Park that’s open to the public.

Yes, I know Bushkill Falls is privately owned & operated. I know because I asked. That’s how I know that you didn’t get permission to do a nudie shoot there, in front of Og and Sundry ( and my 10 year old son to boot). Maybe they would have told you to piss off and go get a room in town. Maybe they would have rented you part of a trail & closed it off to the rest of the public to give you some privacy (and protect the privacy of others from you). Either way, my son wouldn’t have had to see your pretentious gnat-gravitating briar-snatch and you wouldn’t be shivering and hiding behind a tree right now.

Look, I get that you are barely 20, a ‘size 2’, and you want to show it off to the world. Yes, yes, all the world loves a super-model :rolleyes: and you figure this is your shot at fame & fortune. But did you really have to put it in other people’s faces while you photograph it? How many times do you think Tyra Banks had to hide behind trees during her shoots? Or race out of the parking lot to keep from getting ‘caught’ and arrested in a BF’s minivan?

BTW, what is up with the minivan? What self-respecting 50 year old Single Guy drives around in a Dodge Caravan anyway? AFAIK, its not exactly high on the list of cars to rent to impress/undress easy 20-something dates. Or are you cheating at That too? :dubious:

My son had today off from school. I thought I’d try to be a good father and drive him to the country today. Bushkill Falls is a fairly pristine stretch of wilderness to enjoy a nice walk, fresh air and nature’s wonders. Natures wonders, …Not Yours!!! (Believe me, it would have cost significantly less than the gas I burned to cover your skanky ass-shanks in singles in a sticky-floored go-go bar.) Who the hell did you think hiked on trails anyway? The rocks would have scuffed Hef’s slippers and Larry Flynt’s scooter would have needed 4WD. But, thanks for being such a selfish self-absorbed whore. I can only hope that the flies were biting you like they were trying to bite us today. Maybe you’ll take away more from this experience than just embarrassment, humiliation, and the realization that your life has spun completely out of control and beyond your grasp.

Because there’s always Lyme Disease.

2

Was actual sex being photographed or was it just a naked woman?

Because if it’s the latter, I think you’re overreacting. Your son was lucky. I didn’t see my first live bush until I was like 15.

3

I agree with Dio nudity does not equal porn.

I guess your son isn’t allowed to go to museums, either. There might be nekkid lay-dehs!

4

I can think of at least two reasons this might not be a good place for nude photography.

5

Be okay for a presidential press conference, though.

6

When we walked up, she was naked, off the trail, and in front of one of the falls. I can’t say what scene 2 would have been. She saw my son & realized Bolivia didn’t export enough coke to make that scene ‘ok’ for her. I got my son around a rock wall from that scene pretty quick, but we could still tell that her change of mood royally PO’d her BF, so I’m not sure how far he’d initially planned/convinced her to go.
(later on, when they were leaving, he saw me across the parking lot and gave me an angry stare. Just before he burned rubber out of the parking lot of the family recreation area as only a macho minivan driver can.)

Look, I get that my son has to grow up some time, but he’s a very young 10. He has the whole rest of his life to be an adult, so I’d really like to give him the opportunity to have a childhood and to be a kid. Yes, I was also trying to show him what my father showed me about identifying trees and knowing which ones were edible in an emergancy and which ones bark make good kindling if you get caught out in the woods. It was going to be a beautiful day… 87F with a light breeze off the waterfalls. I had wanted it to be a good bonding and learning experiance.

I had hoped not to have to use phrases like ‘please ignore the naked tart behind the birch tree’.

7

We were Christmas shopping in downtown Seattle many years ago, and stumbled on a naked woman being photographed in the doorway of a pawn shop. My son was about 15, and he later told me that was the first real live totally naked woman he saw until he was in his early 30’s. She was gorgeous – think young Kate Winslet. My husband blinked and missed her.

I’m a suspicious sort (especially when vans are involved) – is there any doubt in your mind that the young woman was there willingly? She didn’t appear frightened or nervous?

8

:eek:

:mad:

You wanna put a “NSFW” on that???

Tee hee. :slight_smile:

9

Was she good looking?
This, of course, being the most important issue.

10

You missed a wonderful opportunity for a nature lecture. "Son, you’re looking at a female of the species. Note the firm breasts. Ooh, see those scars on the bottoms – plastic! She’s had implants to enhance her attractiveness to men.

Note the clean shaven pubic area. This is a common practice of both male and female porno stars to making filming easier."

Talk about bonding!

11

I dunno. . .nobody ever used used phrases like that with me when I was but a lad.

And I became an elected official.

So relish those father/son moments.

They’re gone before you know it.

12

Not a total waste. He knows a little something about a certain type of likely non-edible bush. You might have wanted to leave before she started rubbing her bark with a stick, probably.

13

Or started in on the stuffed bear across from the snackbar. :eek:

14

OMG SO WHAT IF SHE WAS 20 AND THE GUY WAS 50 YOU AGEIST BASTARD!

Seriously, though, while I don’t think your son will lose his innocence because he saw boobs (unless you’ve got everything except pray-TV locked out on your cable box, he may have already), the circumstances were unfortunate. Not just that she was nude, but someone was taking pictures, and that someone reacted with hostility, and the young woman reacted in a way much counter to the “bodies are beautiful” argument…That’s a discussion that could definitely have waited a few years.

Also, AuntiePam’s second paragraph.

15

I suppose that you have no problem with men publically exposing themselves to 10 year old girls.

The issue is choice. I sent my preteen to art classes that included figure drawing with naked models. Went with him and his sibs a few years previous to a resort that allowed topless bathing. He was fine, I was fine, my wife was fine. But we made the informed decision. Imposing that choice on others is not okay.

16

You’re overreacting. Tell him “they have teeth down there”.

17

Man, if you think that type of bush is not to be eaten, I feel sorry for your woman.

You’re assuming a LOT of facts not in evidence in order to sustain your righteous indignation, dude.

I’m with you on “she should have taken better precautions to ensure that those not intended to see her, do not see her.”

But you lost me at “OMG she is teh ev1l!”

18

Hey, there’s a GQ thread about edible mushrooms. Some look tasty but will drop you in your tracks. Some look like fungus growing on a log and are delicacies. Same with bush. You start eating just any ol’ one you come across and you run a certain risk, just like mushrooms.

19

I think skanks of any age should not be legally allowed to be photographed naked. My God, who wants to see that crap?

(Hot chicks, on the other hand…)

20

It’s hard to get behind any real righteous indignation here. Artistic photography of nudes in nature has a very long and respectable history. And before that, it was painting. Of the attractive subjects for photography, the female figure, draped or undraped, is high on the list.

Naked women != porn unless you’re amazingly uptight. Given the setting – a waterfall – my first impression would be that the photographer was aiming for, if not art, certainly not sleaze.

A better reaction would be a cheery “oh, sorry, carry on” to the photographer, and a “He’s taking pictures of the lady” to your son’s question.

Yeah, not the best choice of the photographer to take the photos near a public trail, but, well, it’s hard to move a waterfall, and guess what? Most waterfalls are near trails because they’re fun to look at.